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Yesterday I gave up the new dog I had adopted - I had been so excited about the idea of having a dog to come home to every night, but I forgot how much time and energy was required. And I realized I had a tough choice to make - realized that there was already not enough of me to go around. And there are those who need much more of me, that I'm willing to sacrifice those cute little paws and wagging tail to a cold, empty apartment.

This year has been challenging for me, I have had deep moments of questioning. I have had moments of fear - fear of letting everyone down.

I gave up part of my 20's when the shocking happened - the father of one of my students passed suddenly away and I was asked to perform the funeral. I didn't think I was going to ever experience that - how do I respond? They don't teach you this at bible college.

I set myself up as available and accessible to the church world and the "unchurched world". They don't like not having full access to me - students and families don't get why I can't solely focus on them. After all - thats what my job is right? To tend to the every need and make good little church kids? And the unchurched don't get why any young adult male would care to hang out at the schools, at football games - theres got to be something different, something weird about them? Church? I know what church people act like - they put on masks and pretend to be perfect and don't accept me.

I'm the one who creates the chaos on weekends where kids are out of control.
I'm the one who plays that music which means now my kids listen to it - and its awful.
I'm the one who doesn't wear a suit on sunday mornings - that doesn't look like he can even attend this church.

But in reality...I'm the one who is striving my best to serve my heavenly father.

I will not be defined apart from Christ. I will invite kids in to my home who cuss - because if they don't know Jesus yet, they won't act like him. And I won't let Jesus be defined by "Christian values." Because when I lack patience and grace - when we lack patience and grace - in our marriages, with children, with family - then we aren't being "Christian." You don't want to be around those people? Then who will show them Jesus? How will they experience true grace? Because all that shows them is God is for those who have it figured out - if you won't extend grace, unrelenting - then you paint a picture of Christ that doesn't extend to them.

You know "church kids" see themselves?

Wrong
Selfish
Broken
Selfharming
Fat
Nerd
Gay
Stupid
Hated By Others
Bad Kid
Cheater
Liar
Not Pretty Enough
Not Popular
Cruel
Insecure
Useless
Unwanted

And the sad thing - these definitions are often from other "church kids." Because we miss this part of showing God's grace and love - because when its about making good kids we miss it -


I will never make your kids good. You will never make your kids good. Because none of us are good. Apart from Christ - we are bad. And apart from truly loving Him it doesn't matter how much you spare yourself or your children from - its not about abstaining from things - its about surrendering to Christ. Everything. Your mind won't change because you listen to "worship" or "Christian" music. Your mind will change because Christ is in you and working in you. 

I love you all dearly - and I will continue to press forward. I will do my best to be a picture of grace and love and patience because of what Christ has done. But I will not do it for a select few - I will push and be uncomfortable at times. I will go as long as God will use me - I will let myself be broken down, worn down, beat down - for the sake of your children. My heart breaks for them. I will take whatever you have to say, for the sake of Christ - and that He may be proclaimed in the lives of your children. 

An Honest Question for Parents

Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:

"Do you love Jesus?"

Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.

Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration. 

I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did. 

But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.

My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.

I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?

Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?

I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa? 

Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?

Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child. 

I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.

Do you love Jesus?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

Rethinking: What If...?

What would it look like if Christians got as excited about spending time and being Jesus to the kids smoking pot and doing drugs at the skate park as their favorite candidate winning a debate?

What would it look like if Christians went to their knees in prayer for the broken community around them instead of to the TV for their favorite show?

What would it look like if we gave up our evening meal at a favorite restaurant to meet with the kid dealing with a broken home, an addiction to pornography, a parent who says they will never amount to anything?

What would it look like if we took a night away from athletics, music, etc to simply sit with those who have never known the hope of Jesus?

Why do we get so passionate about us being right instead of passionate about the truth of God and the hope of Jesus breaking the chains of the hurt, the lonely, the lost, the unloved?


Oh God - the world is crying out around us - let us die to ourselves and live each and every moment for you.

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:40 ESV)

Is Youth Ministry Really Where We Went Wrong?

"⁴² And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. ⁴³ And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. ⁴⁴ And all who believed were together and had all things in common. ⁴⁵ And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. ⁴⁶ And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." - Acts 2:42-47 (ESV)

It's been said that youth ministry went wrong somewhere - shocking statistics about how many students leave church after high school. And I agree - for many church became just a "thing" they do. However, I also wonder if the blame can really be upon student ministry. As I walk into our church each week - I notice something about what we are trying to do in student ministry. We don't at all have it perfect - but I look and reflect back on my experience in student ministry and realize there was something happening there, something good, which often time is missed in terms of the large church.

I had leaders who pursued me, pursued me weekly. Currently, our team is about connecting - having each student, even first time visitors, connected to a leader. Someone who remembers their visit - who follows up. Because it has to be about more than that Sunday morning or Wednesday night, it has to be a living, breathing everyday thing. Because our walk with God is a living, breathing everyday thing. We gather as a community - to worship - united as one in worship to our God and King. We have moments where we eat together, where we talk throughout the week. That we laugh together, call each other out, etc. Sure - some only come for fun times - but I've noticed a change. Because we are genuine and real - students who "only came for fun things" have begun to desire to be connected. To belong to a community.

So my question now becomes, as students engage in this community, focused upon Christ, what do I have to pass them off to? Because honestly, when I walk into a sanctuary of 800+ it does feel as though something is missing. It does feel as though many are just going through the motions. It is too easy to be comfortable, to be lost in the crowd. I've never felt pursued by others there. I don't know many names - I don't have opportunity beforehand to build community. I watch others slowly file in to their rows, thumb through bulletins or iPhones, wait for the music to start and keep to themselves. And "adult bible fellowships" seem to function more like classes to learn than communities to learn, challenge, grow, and walk alongside one another.

Now - I love being able to worship and gather - and it is important. But I think there is a great aspect missing here. Because I worship with these students - but beforehand we don't just sit idly. And if I see a student sitting alone - if our students see someone sitting along - we change that. We approach, get to know - invite to come over to the cafe and drink some hot chocolate. Things we do to intentionally build community, to create relationships. To learn about each other and to learn about God together, to be able to challenge, to be able to trust, to be able to live life together.

I guess what I am wrestling with is, is it student ministry that causes students to leave the church? Or is there something bigger that is missing? Is there an aspect of faith that is overlooked, forgotten, lost in our big services and big ways of doing church?

- Brummy

Do We So Easily Forget?

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

Where do you turn in your time of need? To what do you look to heal you, to make things right?

Apart from Christ there is nothing which will leave you at peace, which will strengthen you. There are things which may for a time, causing you to believe they have given you healing and peace - but they will never be enough. At some point - they will not satisfy that unquenchable desire. Apart from Christ - nothing will.

How easily we forget this. How easily we turn to these things, believing God not to be enough. Today - let me encourage you in this - God is enough. A life so content in Him has no reason to fear, no reason to seek anything else. Yet we cannot cling any longer with one hand to Christ and the other still grasping for the "other" to satisfy. Christ - wholly, in an of Himself - is enough. Not God plus some.

So let us challenge one another to let go fully of the other lies which tempt us and tell us they will heal, they will fill, they will satisfy, and let us grasp with all we are, heart, body, soul - to the One who gave Himself up for us.

- Brummy

Change Must Come...

And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."

It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.

It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?

Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?

There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.

Well, God isn't calling me to.

Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?

Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."

Love

A young boy once sat quietly in a corner of a room. Inside him were a million thoughts and a million voices, every bit of him screamed for help. And yet, as he sat within the church, he feared to share what he so desperately sought escape from. Because if people knew what he dealt with, what he as a broken individual wrestled with, he feared they would not give hope. Rather, they would focus on how messed up he was, how sick, how filthy. He understood Christ and grace to be a once then perfect thing. So he remained quiet.

How many more sit quietly, afraid to seek healing because they fear judgement. Healing from the hurt of broken families, from the grips of addiction to pornography, to the struggle of same-sex attraction, to drugs, to vanity, to self-image. Oh how my soul longs for those who would sit and listen, sit and love. Those who do or don't are each in the same boat, just as unworthy.

Those who have never struggled with addiction are not better people.
Those who have never lusted are not better people.
Those who have never lied are not better people.
Those who do not have same-sex attraction are not better people.
Those who have not abused are not better people.
Because each and every one of us are in need of God's grace each and every day.

There are no simple answers. I cannot tell you why you struggle with this. Truth is we all have struggles. Some are easier seen, and our fallen, human tendencies often make others point out things uncomfortable to them, point out things so that the spotlight is off them. It breaks my heart that we get so upset over defining marriage, and yet how many within the church struggle within their marriages, how many students do I have from broken homes. I do not want this to be a debate, but rather a cry. A cry from my heart to seek Christ first and foremost.

If you are abused or abuser, you have hope that is offered in Christ.
If you are divorced or divorcer, you have hope that is found only in Christ.
If you are addicted, you have freedom in Christ.
If you are broken or breaking, you have redemption in Christ.
If you are attracted to men, or if you are attracted to women, there is one to whom each of us was created to be in relationship with. It took me many long years to realize a part of my heart could only be filled by my God and my savior.

Run to this love. Know this love. Whomever you are, wherever you are in life, run to God. My life is witness to His grace, to His power, to His love. And its for you, and for me.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

Not A Super-Hero...Not Normal

"Sometimes, to do what's right, we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams." - Peter Parker/Spider-man


Let me preface this by saying, I do not at all view myself as a super-hero or as having some sort of super-power. However, I have recently watched a decent number of super-hero films, and was in one way or another spoken to through them. These past few days have, for whatever reason, forced me to have a lot of time to myself. A lot of time to think, to search, to remember. I have observed events, the world, around me, taken a step back and asked, where do I fit in?


I watch as those dear to my heart reunite with loved ones gone for a few weeks serving. I watch as those dear to me take time as a family to adventure together. I am blown away by the transformation which took place in a friend's life, who only a few years ago wanted nothing to do with God, and is know a man of God whom I look up to, doing his best to serve Him this summer. And I've sat and remembered hopes and dreams I once had, that part of me still has. I reminisce to childhood memories, good and bad. And I reflect on the enormous and extremely scary path which has been set before me.


As I sat this evening watching Spider-man 2, there is a part where Peter Parker attempts to stop being Spider-man, to live a "normal" life, so he can have and do the things he "wanted" to do. At the end, however, he realizes who he is: he is Spider-man. He was given a great gift, for whatever reason, and he cannot cease to be "spider-man" simply because he chooses not to. For a moment I resonated with him, because this past year has been an enormous struggle for me. It has been a challenge, and at moments I felt I couldn't go on. I continually asked God why? How? I tried to lean on Him with all I could, but at moments I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. Like Spider-man, I felt as though there was challenge after challenge. And no one truly understands, understands what it is like to constantly feel that pressure.


Now, I have to remember to constantly surrender to Christ. But there is also a part of me which knows what God has called to me. And that my call isn't like another's, and that others won't get it. That they will ask why I do it. And they will ask why my life hasn't fallen along the line of normalcy, like everyone else. After all, there is an order of things, right? College, job, marriage, grad school, kids. And if you don't follow this line, something is wrong with you. They may not say it, but that is how it comes across.


But tonight, tonight I have peace. I have peace from God because I rest in Him. I rest in the fact that others won't get it. Because I have been given an opportunity to lay down that "normal" life for Christ, to speak into the lives of these students. No one else will get why I would rather sit and facebook chat a high school student about drugs, suicide, music, life than sit around with kids my age at a party. No one else will get why after an entire week with students, I'll still spend my Saturday with them. Because I know that relationship is key - that it has led to openness and honesty, and allows me to sit and cry with them in the midst of divorce and heartache. Teachers won't get why I'd volunteer at an after-school tutoring with a bunch of kids who are failing and couldn't care less. Yet simply sitting with them day after day makes them ask why - kids who wouldn't ever come to church. Who won't respond to a cheesy piece of paper with a bible verse on it (yes, tracts...) That I am content in knowing that somehow Christ is using me is enough. I don't need to rush into grad school. I don't need to rush into a family. Because God hasn't called me to be normal. He has called me to Him. All my life I've wanted to fit in. With all I am I wanted a family to love, a great job, lots of friends. But sometimes God calls us to lay things down for Him. I love my students to death, I love my church to death. But many will never get it. Never understand. I am not even sure why I wrote this, mostly for myself. What I do know is Christ, somehow working in me and through me. He has not called me to be normal. I doubt He has called any of us to be normal. And I will be content to be seen as a mystery, for God is a God who works in mysterious ways.


- Brummy

Praise

I praise God for this past year.

I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.

I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.

I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.

I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.

I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.

I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.

I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.

I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.

I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.

What Have We Done

What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.

I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?

We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?

I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal. 


But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.

- Brummy

A New Day

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14

Today is a new day. Stop and rest in that. You can't change what happened yesterday. You can't change the mistakes, the hurts, the failures of yesterday. But here is the truth: God's grace is new everyday. Do not be tied down to whatever you did yesterday (or whatever you didn't do.) We are free in Christ, though that freedom does not give us freedom to sin it offers us the freedom that when we do, His grace has washed over us. Don't define yourself by what you did yesterday, look to Christ today and know that it is a new day. A new day to press forward in Christ, as best you can. And when you fall, He will lift you back up. Rest in that, forget about yesterday, don't let it tie you down. Press on toward the goal. Forget what lies behind you. Strain towards what lies ahead.

"Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved." - Philippians 4:1 

The New Reality of Middle School

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)

I think some of us have lost grip on just what it means to be in middle school. Some of those reading this may have a child in middle school, but I am not sure all of us are awake and aware to the reality of what it means to be in middle school. In my personal opinion, this is possibly the most important time in a person's life. It is a time of transition, one in which they are beginning to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives, while still being in a phase of being shapeable and being impacted by others. One thing is certain: a middle schooler is no longer a child. 

To be honest with you, these are some of the things our students are going through right now, either because they wrote them on prayer cards, because they have told me, or because I have witnessed them from being "on their turf" in the schools on a monthly/weekly basis.

• Wondering if friends & family accept them
• Major anxiety
• Bullies
• Dealing with family's divorce
• Father not being at home and causing stress
• Loss of Father
• Loss of grandparents
• Hurting for sister who "feels insignificant and un-loved"
• Sexual and vulgar thoughts, feeling hopeless to keep mind clean from them
• Friends at school leaving them out and talking about student behind back
• Cutting
• Suicidal thoughts
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Anger
• Drugs

Too often I see middle schoolers being stereotyped into "annoying, frustrating" who can't have spiritual conversations. They get tossed into this category, and sadly, it sickens me. Many would rather invest in high school students who can "hold a mature conversation, about deep spiritual things." This truly breaks my heart. Because honestly, if there are not those willing to step in now, there are many for whom it will be too late by high school. (Not that God doesn't work, but in my life experience, by freshman year, I witnessed my friends already set on paths which they have followed for the most part to this day. The most critical time was middle school.) Middle school was when my struggles began, and had truly set in by freshman year.

The new reality is this - middle schoolers deal with even more than I ever imagined dealing with, that I am certain you ever imagined dealing with. Do not overlook these students, deeply loved by God. Don't see them just as annoying, as immature. We cannot imagine what most of them go through. And each and every one is desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

Unescapable

Life is a journey. Each of us walks their own path. And often its easy to fall into the trap of looking at the person next to you, wishing in part you had their life. And yet, deep inside, when we are honest, we know the life God has called us to. Yes, to himself. But to some, the path is different than others.

Living a life for Christ can take a toll, nothing compared to what Christ suffered upon the cross for us. But I have yet to learn how to disconnect. And perhaps that is good. How do I disconnect from knowing the pains of students who sit at home this evening feeling unloved and unwanted? How do I laugh with friends knowing the student who has no friends to laugh with? How do I so easily forget the student who no longer has a father to speak to, to hug, to laugh, to cry with on this earth? All I can do is fall on my knees in surrender to my savior, asking why me? What do I have to offer? Nothing but Christ. But because of the life He has called me to lead, I cannot disconnect.

Many will not know what its like. I can't use words to describe. I can't explain why. And I can't change this life I am called to. I can't do it your way, I am only me as God has created me to be. And whole-heartedly in love I serve, because of what God has done for me. I cannot explain this unescapable love. And I cannot disconnect showing that love to these students, I can't turn off this burning passion within me, overflowing from my God and my King.

And so through it all I will persevere. Through the feelings of loneliness and pain, knowing that God is here, God is at work, God is present, whether I feel Him or not. Whether I sense Him or not.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

- Brummy

Who Are You?

"But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." - John 1:12-13

 If I were to ask you who you were, what would your answer be? I have been challenged today by this question. Because, when it comes down to it, I know a lot of answers I would like to give but these do not define me.

I am not my job. If I ceased to work for a church, would I then cease to exist?

I am not an American. If I wasn't in America, born here, would I cease to exist?

I am not defined by how tall I am, how much I weigh. If I suddenly grew heavier, lost a leg, etc. would I cease to exist?

I am not a college student. If college were gone, would I then not exist?

So how do we define ourselves? By our jobs, how much we have, the things we have done or haven't done? Because if those things are gone, do we then cease to exist? Rather, we can only define ourselves in one way: in Christ. I am reminded today that I am a child of God. This is not based on anything I have achieved, on something I have done, nor is it a momentary thing. It is something which cannot be taken away from me. I am a child of God. That is who I am. 

Who are you? Don't define yourself by worldly standards, because they can never define you. Define yourself by God, define yourself in Christ. As a beloved child of the King.

- Brummy

(PS I realize I posed about this before...but I think we all need continuous reminders not to define ourselves in anyone or anything but Christ)

Don't Lose Heart

¹⁶ So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV)

Recently its been difficult for me to see past current circumstances to understand what God is doing. Being honest, I have experienced a very few difficult months, and it is tough even now to consider it "light momentary afflication." Part of me wants to scream out "HOW IS ANY OF THIS LIGHT?" It feels like the weight of a thousand elephants upon my shoulders. But taking a deep breath, I step away from myself and realize, in honesty, its nothing. Nothing compared to what it could be and nothing compared to what I've made it.

But this passage is beautiful, reminding me that this perceived huge weight will be replaced with an even bigger weight - not of trial but of GLORY. How beautiful is this promise God gives us. It will be beyond all comparison. I cannot see it, all I can see are the difficulties in front of me. Difficulties screaming at me "You can't make it. You are a failure. You won't last." But this promise, this truth of God reminds me of what is to come - to those who hope in Him. Glory. Eternal. These trials will pass. The pain felt from death of loved ones, from the words spat like poison, from whatever situation arises - it will not compare to the glory which is to be revealed. The eternal glory, on that beautiful day when there will be no more crying nor pain, and Jesus will wipe every tear from our eyes. So I press forward, and encourage you to press forward. Hope in God. Do not lose heart! We may feel as though we are being wasted away, but God renews us each day - every day is a new day. Continue in Him. You are loved, you are valued, and this too shall pass.

- Brummy

Grace

Then the Lord raised up judges, who saved them out of the hand of those who plundered them. Yet they did not listen to their judges, for they whored after other gods and bowed down to them. They soon turned aside from the way in which their fathers had walked, who had obeyed the commandments of the Lord, and they did not do so. Whenever the Lord raised up judges for them, the Lord was with the judge, and he saved them from the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge. For the Lordwas moved to pity by their groaning because of those who afflicted and oppressed them. - Judges 2:16-18

It crazy to think how throughout the entire Bible, God's grace continues strong. This passage right in hear in judges speaks to God's grace - continually extended even when the people continued to abandon God, in fact falling worse and worse than those before them. And yet God continually raised up judges, being with the judges, and drawing His people out of their oppression. Throughout the Bible we see story after story of God's love and grace, true there are consequences for the sinful actions, but continually God spares or lessens, drawing His people back to Him. And boy, am I thankful for that.

I continually need reminded that God's grace is new every day - not so that I may sin, but so that I know, in the midst of my downfalls, God continually draws me back to him. I reflect and look at the likes of David, a man after God's own heart, and just how deep his failures were. I look at Paul, a man who according to all standards of men, would never be used by God. And yet God chose them, chose tax collectors, chose prostitutes, and I rejoice, knowing that God can and has used the likes of me. I can't explain it, I don't deserve it. But I rejoice that God is "the same yesterday, today, and forever." And that while my actions have consequences I am redeemed and made new, that I wash my feet every day from the dirt which accumulated, knowing my whole self has been washed in the blood of Christ. And I take a deep breath, and take the new day God has given me.

Praise God for His grace and mercy, extended daily. Let us press forward, relying on God for strength, resisting, yet knowing that when we fall, Christ picks us back up again. Let us not make light His grace, but let us remember each day is a new day.

- Brummy

What I've Learned About Middle School Discipleship

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22

I've been reflecting on my past year in ministry, and I've taken a few thoughts I've learned on discipleship. I started with this passage because I think it highlights where it all begins: with the pursuit by God, and God calling out.

#1 - The Call Out

I look at a few of the guys in my connect group and reflect on the effort and pursuit I made to call them out from just "attending" church on Sunday to being a part of community, to being a part of living life together. This is where it must begin: you must continue to pursue, to press after, to say "follow me." In saying this, you reflect Christ in saying, "Hey, you're worth spending time with. You have value, I want to get to know you, so that you can get to know Christ."

#2 - The Long Haul

You have to be in it for the long haul. Which means long hours, many of which will have students being, as many of the disciples were, at times frustrating and dumb. These guys who spent a ton of time with Jesus often seemed to be more clueless than the crowds. In the same way, I have had numerous frustrations with students who seemed to get it and still do the same things and ask the same questions. And yet, in the long haul, that time and effort pay off.

#3 - Be Prepared


Don't let frustrations break you down. Know that God is working, that even if it seems all a student does is fart and poop for a whole year, the fact that you called them out, into relationship, reflecting Christ calling each of us out, the fact that you invested in them more than just a Sunday or Wednesday, God is working. I probably am at the extreme of spending time with the guys I am closest with, my little disciples. And yet, I have seen God's faithfulness and His work in their lives. When I pressed on and didn't give up, I saw a restored relationship with 3 of them, I saw submission of struggles in their lives, things I never would have known without pursuit and being in it for the long haul.

#4 - Don't Let Discouragement Let You Quit


I often hit this mark, but each time I thought of giving up, thinking I couldn't do it anymore, I pressed forward just a little longer. And in that, God would give me a small moment of joy, which overcame the greatest sense of discouragement. If we are willing to invest, to call out, to be in it for the long haul, God will work through us. I know there are some of my guys whom I will never have a deep conversation with. But I know that God is at work in their lives, even if I don't know it. And thus I refuse to let discouragement or feeling like I have no impact get the best of me. Because I know that God is at work, through me and through others, for His glory.

So continue to call out, be in it for the long haul. Past just the time you must spend with your students, its an all the time thing, reflecting Christ in their lives through all you do, not just in the Sunday or Wednesday moments. Do it for God's glory. Press forward. Don't give up.

- Brummy

Wait for the Lord

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

This past month I have learned much about waiting for the Lord. Many difficult situations have been thrown at me, and through them I have had to wait for God. For God to give me the wisdom as to what (or what not) to say. And before all this, I believe I was waiting for the Lord.

Much of what I do is spending time with students. I believe relationships are critical, foundational, to sharing the gospel to students. I believe relationships allow (and force) one to speak without ever saying a word. By our actions, modeling a sacrificial love, it then brings us into places to actually use words to speak what we believe, to use words to speak God's truth and love. But this all involves a lot of waiting, waiting for the Lord, and His timing. That the relationships you pour and invest to, knowing you are in them because of God's love, involve a lot of waiting. I've waited a lot with students. Waited for opportunities to speak what I believe, while quietly doing my best to model God's love to them. I waited, praying sometimes that God would give opportunities for me to speak.

And then, funny how God works, it all hit at once. A lot happened. But it involved a lot of waiting. Waiting on the Lord, because for awhile I wondered if what we did at 180 Student Ministries made an impact, if the truth we preached was getting across. And it was. But it was on God's timing, not mine. It wasn't during that "awesome" worship service we had poured hours into, from that tear jerking Passion video. It was in the simple moments after a Connect Group, in the wake of the passing of a beloved father, in the quiet moments before a midnight showing of a movie. It involved a lot of waiting. It was a test, a challenge.

But what I have learned is this: wait for the Lord. For his timing. Be strong through it all. Because you don't know how things will play out. Just because a student doesn't respond in an awesome service which seems to be the most spirit-filled, doesn't mean the message wasn't gotten across. Be faithful in your relationships, first to God, and second to those in your life. Live out what you believe, because most people want to see they can trust you before they trust you with words. Take courage, know that God is at work. And wait for Him.

- Brummy.

Feed My Lambs

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." (John 21:15 ESV)

What would our response be when Jesus asks us if we love him? Easily I agree we would say, "Of Course I do." But when the response is "Feed my lambs." How many will respond? I challenge you to think on this. And while you do, think upon this. Think upon these lambs:

Each week I am in contact with a few hundred students, whether from our youth group or in the local schools.

I know a lamb who opened up to me that they once thought of killing themself because of the pain of losing grandpa, dog, and know rethought because of hearing of a friend whose father died. This lamb is only 11.

I know lambs who struggle with eating disorders, fearing they are not beautiful enough to be loved.

I know lambs who are being beaten and abused within their homes, and fear with all they are that if they tell they will be separated from their parents, though they are the ones who do these things.

I know lambs who wonder if their family and friends accept them for who they are.

I know lambs who are shattered by the pains of divorce and death.

I know lambs who wrestle with the chains of addiction to drugs and porn.

They need fed. Not the lies that they must be perfect. Not the lies that because of what is going on, no one loves them, or they won't be welcomed in the church. They need the tender embrace of a shepherd, who in turn points them to the Great Shepherd, Jesus. I write this broken and crying out with all I am to God, that He would draw up those whom can speak and love these students, for who they are and where they are. Who don't see them because of what they do. Who won't judge them. God is judge, not us. They need a shepherd, who will constantly pursue, the same way God constantly pursues you.


And with all of me, I fight against the part of me which says: none will step up. None will feed the lambs. They are content sitting in the pews, they believe the lies that middle school isn't important, that it takes a certain type of person, that because they refuse to learn patience, they won't surrender themselves to letting God use them. I pray God takes these lies, and I pray that we take our walk seriously. Feed my lambs, Jesus said. I know hundreds of lambs in Stark County, wandering aimlessly, waiting for those to rise up and point them to the Great Shepherd. It won't be easy. But look at the cross: why should anything about what we do be easy or comfortable.

Blessed

"Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock." - 1 Peter 5:2-4 (ESV)

This past week has been an extreme challenge for me. But I have also realized what an amazing blessing I have, of the opportunities God has given me. I never dreamed that at 22 years of age I would be in full-time ministry. My life was a twist of ups and downs, even attempts to run from God. And yet here I am. So here I sit, writing this, realizing the charge God has given me, and that it is not an easy one. But I also want to say thank you, to whomever is reading this. That you have been there to support me, and I pray you continue to support me. I cannot give any reason why God has chosen me, I so often go back to the words of Paul, knowing that "I am the worst." Yet by the grace of God, here I am. A broken vessel being used to glorify God. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of the ministry at The Chapel in North Canton. I am so blessed, and so passionate for our future, knowing God has great things in store. Amidst the crazy storms we are all facing, continue to hope in God. And know that it is a joy each day being amongst you all, that I love you dearly. And more than that, God loves you dearly. Cling to Him. Look to Him. Trust in Him. Hope in Him.

- Brummy

Do you know who you are?

And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying "Abba! Father!" - Galatians 4:6

Today what I want to say is this: Do you know who you are? If you claim Christ, do you realize who you are? You are a child of God! God, who created the universe, who knows every hair on your head, is your Father. And He is not just sitting up there pointing, He's not distant, unaccessible. We can cry to him: Abba! Daddy! Father! That is beautiful.

You may be scared. You may not know what it means to have a father. You may be hurting, fearful, bitter. You may not want God. But I'll tell you this, the God I know loves me, I follow Him not because I am controlled but because I realized nothing else filled me, because He created perfect and His word brings us back, restores us to whom He created us to be. And the fact is I still mess up. But God allows me to come to Him, crying "Daddy!" And that. That is beautiful.

- Brummy

Where do you turn in times of trouble?

"I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

Lets all admit it: life is a mess sometimes. We have trouble, and lots of it. There are a lot of us who are hurting right now. Things have been said, we seem to be stuck in cyclical habits, our families seem like they are falling apart. We are tore down on every side, so where do we turn to? For some of us, we feel hopeless and lost. But let me tell you: you only feel this way if you look to the world for a solution.

This past week has been a huge challenge for me, but I must constantly remind myself that the only place to turn to is Jesus. His words here in John 16 must be what I cling to: that he has overcome the world. Let me challenge you this: if you are angry, if you are hurting, if you are lost, nothing the world can offer will fix it.

You won't find healing in drugs.
You won't find healing in porn.
You won't find healing in sex.
You won't find healing in drinking your problems away.
You won't find healing in money.
You won't find healing in a job, a profession.
You won't find healing in a video game, music, or anything else.


Apart from Christ - things will not get better. Is it a guarantee that in Christ things will be better? No. But this I can tell you:

sex, smoking, drinking, porn, money, music, video games, none of these filled me. none of these fixed me. none of these healed me. none of these gave me purpose.


And in my lowest point, God met me, the arms of Christ embraced me, and His peace was set upon me. A peace which God continues to place over me, that even when I am stressed, I look to him. Knowing I can rest in the fact He has overcome the world.

Friends, family, whoever is reading: know this - God has overcome the world. He desires an intimate and personal relationship with you. Know that whether someone from in the church or outside has hurt you, whether you feel like because of what you have done, you cannot be loved - Christ came not to condemn the world but to save it. To buy you back, to call you His own. To give you a peace, not a happiness, not a carefreeness, but knowing that in times of trouble, you and I can rest in Him.

I love you all dearly, and whatever you feel, think, don't think about God - it will never change this: He loves you, He died for you, and He desires to call you His own. You can run, but His love is unrelenting. Take heart - He has overcome the world.

- Brummy

Reality of Middle School

And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." - Luke 5:30-32 (ESV)

Occasionally I enter into the crazy world known as the middle school cafeteria. It is a humbling experience, and gives me much insight into the world of the students I work with. This is a part of the students everyday life, something I am privileged to see a side of, apart from a church meeting, where its not just Christian friends, or church kids. Its a whole pot of people, from the preppy kids, to the "emo" kids, to those who are socially awkward, to the kids who have disabilities. And it gives me insight to a world full of people who are all the same: in need of the love of Christ.

I always get the weird stares, but I also get the connection gained with consistency. There are some kids whose names I forget, but who know me as the "guy with cool converse" or as Arty, since I bear some resemblance to this character from the tv hit Glee. I see my students, and I see my students friends, and I see students whom I would otherwise have no connection with. It brings joy now that I hear cries of "Brummy!" and my best little 7th grade lunch table always makes me laugh, and hopefully not get in trouble.

Today, however, I had a conversation with an 8th grade student about the reality of middle school. He asked me to pray for him, the last words I would expect to hear at a middle school lunch table, let alone inside a church from an 8th grade guy. And yet, he asked me to pray for him. And he began to talk about the reality of middle school: the kid who was under house arrest and no one knew why, and didn't blame it on the kid but on his tough situation. That he couldn't define any person as a "good" person in his grade, a reality that hit me.

I also briefly talked to a table which had intimidated me, it was the 8th grade wrestling team, the guys who looked like they should be in high school. But one kid waved me over briefly. And I realized, all these kids are just searching out for the same thing: a sense of love and purpose which hasn't been found in anything their friends of school has offered. Its a sense which I hope I resonate, because it took me forever to find. The love of Christ, and redemption through his sacrifice is the only place one can find purpose, wholeness, and meaning. These kids don't see many adults who would choose to be there. I get confused with a lunch monitor, to which I respond, I am not. I work at a church and I'm just here visiting because I want to. I don't want to preach at them, don't want to convert them. I want my actions to display what I believe. If all I have are words, then I've missed something. Jesus didn't just say he loved us, he demonstrated it. In the same way, I see a lot of kids who may have heard church lingo, heard people say they're loved or to live a certain way, but how many see it being lived out?

I'll be honest, it sucks sometimes. But these kids need people who willingly choose to be a part of their lives, outside of the church walls, outside of small group. Saying, you matter to me more than an hour on Sunday or Wednesday, because to God you matter more than that. Which is why I'll text, I'll facebook, I'll tweet, I'll skype, because it allows me to communicate with them. To let them know they matter beyond what they think, beyond what they have perceived from the church in the past. That I'm not going to be afraid to enter into their world, because they need someone to. They need someone to come in and show them the love of Jesus. That person who is willing to sit down and eat with them, talk with them, play video games with them. Even when someone would say, dude you're 22, get a life. Dude, you're a mom, just worry about your own kids. Dude, no kid wants to hang with you. Dude, you can't really do anything for them. Dude, they're a lost cause. Don't fall for this, don't let fear or intimidation stop you.

There is a world of people looking to be shown what it means to follow Christ, who need to see what the love of Christ looks like in everyday life. Most of them live right next door to you. Its easy to board a plane, and yes its needed. But look at your friends, the kids on your block, who need that person to shine a light for Christ in their lives.

- Brummy

No Bull...

This past week has been crazy. This past month has been crazy. I have learned a lot, I have had my ups, had my downs. And all I anticipate as the holidays move forward is more craziness. Perhaps in my life directly, more likely in the lives of those I am in contact with on a daily basis.

However, the one thing I have been learning is this: being real matters.

Students have many questions, they have things they hear at school, from friends, from the media, things which may seem "unchurch" topics. And yet, what topic is not a "church" topic? Things we would deem not to talk about, for example: bestiality. Funny, God talks about this.

Leviticus 18:23, Exodus 22:19, and Leviticus 20:16 all hit this topic. These laws, setting in place the understanding that sex with animals was wrong was put in place by God because the gentile world was under the impression that these things were alright. But see, God doesn't just say "don't do it." There is a define for what sex is, in what context it is intended, and that it is a good thing. This is just an example, but it is the concept I am trying to hit on. The Bible addressees, quite frankly, something today we would say "Don't even mention in the church!" Is it awkward to talk about? Yes! But here is the deal: there are things the world talks about, talks about frankly, and gives its input on. So why should the church hush the questions, frank as they may be, on certain topics? Because they make us feel uncomfortable? What is uncomfortable is knowing that there are thousands of youth who walk into churches every day with the impression they must put on a mask, that they cannot be real, talk about things they hear at school, hear from those who have dealt with these things before or who can give insight on these things.

In my conversations with students, I seek out truth and honesty. I set in place a circle of trust, meaning what is shared is shared in confidence. There are no dumb questions. And also no bull*. Lets be real. If something is going on, if you have a question ask it. God knows your heart, your mind, what is going on. Why, then, should we be afraid to hear these questions? Or to ask them? Or to share? It may not be an easy conversation, but we aren't meant to be the geniuses, to have all the answers. Point to Christ, to the Word of God. Let God speak, let His truth shine.

- Brummy

The Harvest is Plentiful, the Laborers Few

Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." - Matthew 9:37-38 (ESV)

Let me make something clear: I don't do my job because its fun. Secondly, I don't really consider it a job. I hope you don't see it only as some 20 something who doesn't want to grow up so he plays with nerf guns, plays video games, listens to rap music, etc. I am here because of Christ, and its not easy. Each week there are times I question myself, I am discouraged. And each week I am forced to cling to Christ.

I come in contact with numerous middle school and high school students throughout the week. I don't count just those who walk through the walls on Sunday (church is not defined, in my mind as once a week, or within the walls of a building.) If I have a conversation over a lunch table, that is "church." If I talk with a student at tutoring, someone who may never walk into our building, that is church. And I look and see so many students within this area of Stark County who are broken, who are hurting, who are waiting for someone to show them the love of Christ.

You're scared to? You don't think you can relate to students? Its not about relating. This weekend I sat down with a student from an inner city ministry who was at the same retreat as us. I didn't know him. He was 15 and in the 8th grade, from foster care, and a bit awkward to talk to. It was awkward to get him to respond. But see, he needed to see the love of Christ. Was it comfortable to sit down next to him? NO! But when were we ever called to be comfortable?

If you want comfort, sit your fat butt in a lazy-boy all day. But that's not being a christian. Sitting in the pew each Sunday, yeah its great. I love gathering and worshipping with you all. Its important. But more important is this: we cannot lose sight of the world around us. We aren't called to separate ourselves, in fact we are called to go INTO THE WORLD!


I see a lot of kids who only know brokenness, who only know hurt, pain, feeling alone. Who don't know the love of Christ. Correction: they don't see the love of Christ. It must be more than words, it must be more than handing them a Bible, more than handing them a tract (these things may go hand in hand, and not going to say God can't use them) but in reality they need to see a display of this love we speak of, which has redeemed us.

I challenge you, where are you displaying the love of Christ which you claim? At work? At home? At school? There are hundreds of middle school students who need to be shown the love of Christ. How many are willing to step up and take that challenge. To stop being comfortable, and start being real. Christ wasn't comfortable on the cross. Why do we think we should be comfortable as Christians, when there is a multitude of those in desperate need of the love of Christ.

Will you come alongside and show that love, share it through your actions, through all you do. It's not easy, but its not about what's easy. I am not here because its easy, because I like it. My passion is only because of what Christ has done in me. And I look and pray for those who will step up, who will get thats its not about liking it, about being perfectly relatable to middle school students. But who see a generation desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

Live as You Are Called

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 (ESV)

Many wonder how or why I do middle school ministry. And I will tell you. Because I see it as one of the most important and critical time periods in a persons life. These years, in my personal opinion, are critical in that a person begins to make choices which will stick with them the rest of their life. Entering into 6th grade you begin to leave childhood behind, and exiting 8th grade your feet are beginning to be set on paths which you will follow into your adult life.

It is here that the world throws things at you: sex, drugs, porn, alcohol, status, fame, depression, eating disorders. And I look and say: how can one not see this critical time. Because while the world is throwing these things, there is still the sense of childlike innocence, still the ear willing to listen, the voice wanting to be heard.

You may see these kids as kids: telling poop jokes, farting, not paying attention. And I have seen them as God's beloved children: lost in a very big world, reaching out. Asking questions about God. Seeking to find love and answers to why they feel a certain way. Afraid to ask questions because for some reason, adults don't think its okay to question things. Read the Psalms. How many times did the Psalmists cry out to God, asking why He had abandoned them. Yet it all came back to hope: knowing that God would never forsake them. This is the hope, the only thing I can offer, to middle school students. And this is why middle school ministry, in my mind, is real ministry. God loves these students where they are at. He doesn't need them to be more theologically sound. Because God doesn't need anything from us. And He doesn't love you or me more because we "know" more than a middle schooler does.

I wouldn't trade what I am doing now for anything. I have no plans of moving on, because to me, there is no moving on. I get that maybe you haven't been called to work with youth, or middle school. But please do not let that degrade the calling God has given someone else. I am not called to adults (at this moment, and it doesn't mean I don't have ministry there. My focus, however is on middle school students and the adults in their lives.) yet you may be called there. Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him. And let us not diminish the individual callings God has placed on each of us. I am only Matt Brumfield, and I don't expect you to be me, nor should you expect me to be you. We are individuals, broken and wretched, yet used by God for His glory.

He has given me a passion for middle school students. I pray wherever your passion is, in Christ, you would use it for His glory. And do it well, where he has called you, not looking down on another, but celebrating and embracing where each other has been called.

- Brummy

No Longer I Who Live

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20 (ESV)

This verse was the passage we hit on this past Sunday morning in middle school. I think there is always a fear in youth workers who do "special" services that the emphasis is being placed on the stations or getting a certain reaction. And I will be honest, I had those fears. And at first, I assumed the service was a flop, that I had placed to much emphasis on trying to hit on something and perhaps God had different plans. I also went into it this time with a mentality of whether or not anyone responds, we'll do it.

I think God threw me off there because he needed to show me it wasn't my service, it was his. I was assuming this big response right away, and it didn't happen. Because it wasn't about me or my drawing a response. And then God showed me He is at work in these students.

We had a few stations: a cross to tape sticky notes to with things you need to surrender to God. A sand-pile on which you can write sins you need to confess, offer them to God, and wipe them clean - signifying our cleansing through the blood of Christ. And through these, God gave me a glimpse of our students lives, what is going on, and how He is there embracing them. I witnessed our students make their way to the cross, broken yet loved, hurt yet made new in Christ, offering up to God, the only One who can bring hope.

God is doing something great in this generation. A generation searching amidst real struggles and problems. This is what our students are going through:

• Fighting temptation to lie
• Fear
• Broken relationships with Dad
• Insecurity
• Feeling Like I don't Belong
• I hate my life, No one Loves me
• Anger
• Being lost in the world
• Commitment
• Cussing
• Bullying
• Sexual Sin
• Loving myself
• Disrespecting others

They live in a crazy world, and are searching for answers, for love. For truth. There is only one truth, one hope, one thing to bring comfort and healing: Jesus. Living for anything but doesn't bring fulfillment, comfort, or satisfaction. It may numb for a time, but nothing within this world can fulfill the deep longing within each of us. No amount of money, friends, sex, drugs, "stuff" or anything but a relationship with Christ Jesus can fulfill.

I have been crucified with Christ Jesus. I don't live any longer, but Christ lives in me. The life I live right now I live by faith in Jesus, who loved me and gave himself for me.

- Brummy

A Note To Parents: Do Not Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

I get small glimpses of what it must be like to be a parent of a middle schooler. What a strange age, where there is a part that is still such a child and another part tugging away, resisting mom and dad's authority and often times seeing with blinders on their eyes. But with this, I also see a side of the students which mom and dad often don't see. Both good and bad, but moreso good.

I want to write this to encourage parents: do not fear. I can't imagine how many times my parents must have been worried that their little boy was suddenly becoming this rebellious, out of control, adolescent. (And at times I was.) And yet, there is another side I see revealed. I have witnessed students who go from being uber disrespectful towards mom and dad to standing beside me, inviting themselves to our new third worship time and singing. Now, this surprises me: most middle school guys don't sing, or if they do its in a funny voice to get attention. And here I stood - next to a seventh grade student who really has a great voice, listening to his singing in worship to His God and Savior. And I knew - why do I fear? My job isn't to worry about every little choice a student makes. Because in the end I can't control it. My job is to love. To speak the truth, to point them to Christ, to give insight on choices they do make. But not to fear, because in fearing I have begun to stop trusting in God. That he is in control, that he has a plan for this student's life.

I hope you would know that the perfect love of Christ gives us no reason to fear. That because our Holy God sent Christ, His son, to be our perfect atoning sacrifice - there is no reason to fear. While we ourselves, while a student, may get off track for a time, God never lets go of them. God who interceded, sent His son to be "Immanuel" - God with us - is certainly present today, working in us and through us. I want you to be encouraged that whatever is going on, things that frighten, either from your child, from the world, that there is no reason to fear. God has called us out, to something greater than us.

And so my role is one of love, that even in the times the students turn to disrespect me, when I feel I have had enough, I think of that perfect love. I think of Christ on the cross. The One who knew know sin took it upon himself, and in those moments I push through, by God's grace, turning to the students in love. Parents - you are doing something right, be encouraged, know that middle school is a crazy time, but let us together set aside fear and love - because we first have been loved.

- Brummy

Who Will This Year Be About?

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

In my preparation for our spring series on the book of Galatians, this verse has been hitting hard with me. Six days into the new year, I have also been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting on the past year and wondering about what is to come. And with it comes this question: who will this year be about? Will it be about Matt Brumfield? Will it be about my accomplishments? Of course, if it is, there will be a reason behind doing those things. Already I have the tendency to stop and ask, will doing this upset this person? How will this help or hinder my relationship with this person?

I have to stop and take a step back. I have to realize this year cannot be about me. It cannot be about trying to make every family in the church happy with our ministry. It cannot be about connecting with everyone I want to in the community. When it comes down to it, it must be about seeking to follow God. That in each and every thing I do, it is done for Him, because I know it will please Him.

Jesus didn't make people happy. In fact he made a lot of people unhappy. So why should I expect that in following Him everyone will be happy with me? There are some already who really want nothing to do with what I have to say, what I believe in. We have ties, some of them family ties, others deep friendships, but when it comes down to my God and Savior, they want nothing. I can't make them happy. There are some who have a mindset of a certain way to "do church," of a certain opinion of what things to talk about or not to talk about. I can tell you honestly, I won't please them. I am not one who holds to a "there are things not to talk about." While I may not bring them up, if a student is going through something, or is faced with a situation, I don't hold a "don't talk about it just read your Bible" stance. I take a let's talk about it and then examine God's word and see what he has to say.

Post-rant about why I will not make people happy - This year I pray that my focus is kept on Christ. That I will not do things to gain the approval of men. This got me nowhere, and it will honestly get you nowhere. If you live for man, you die to man, empty, void, incomplete. But if you live for Christ, die for Christ, you gain everlasting life with our Heavenly Father. Who knows what this year will bring. Let us bring to it hearts longing and seeking to serve God.

In Christ,

Brummy

Where Do You Seek Rest?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

As we move into 2012, I have noticed there seems to be a lot of weariness. Perhaps this season was crazier than others. Life seems to be crazier and heavier now than it has been for a lot of people, myself included. Many of us are looking for rest, whether in middle school, high school, college, parents, grandparents, pastors, leaders, interns. So the question arises, where do we find rest?

There are things which, of course, we tend to turn to for a bit of personal escape, which I believe is alright. Fishing, for a good friend of mine. Music and starbucks for others. Perhaps video games for some.  And while these things are great (I enjoy all but fishing...) I think we have the tendency to forget to rest in God. Especially those of us who are continually investing and pouring into the lives of others.

Personally, I have a problem. Its a good one though. My heart grows heavy and breaks for those who are hurting and searching in life. And with that means I have to balance an understanding that I cannot be Jesus, but I can do my best to point them to Jesus through my actions and words. I can be there for them, but I cannot fix them. Sometimes this gets me down. And sometime, being around a lot of hurting students and people all week weighs me down. Which reminds me why I need Matthew 11:28. That when I am weary, weary of seeing so much brokenness, I run to God. That when I feel weighed down by seeing broken families, I turn to Christ. That I surrender it to Him. That I rest in the fact that He knows they are hurting, that God is a God who redeems, who restores. And He does it on his timing. My own life wasn't turned around in a day. It was more like a 20 some year process, cause its still in the works. And while its not easy to grasp, I can rest in the hope of Christ. I can come to Him when I feel overwhelmed in life, in ministry, with a student, with a family.

And you, where do you go when you are overwhelmed?  You are not abandoned. You are not alone. You don't have to fix everything. You can't fix everything. But you can turn to the One who loves you more deeply than you could ever imagine. Rest in Him, turn to Him, and we have this promise: God will give us rest, if we come to Him.

In Christ,

- Brummy

A New Year...and Reflections on the Past

I can hardly believe that it is 2012. And I can hardly believe how quickly the year has passed by. It seems like just yesterday I was beginning my switch from the University of Akron to Malone University. My career in Youth Ministry, a road full of challenges. I fought and fought against interning with one of my old interns at The Chapel in North Canton. But in fall of 2009 I stepped foot through the doors of The Chapel and from there it was a crazy, yet awesome ride. Who knew the next fall (2010) I would be offered the Interim Middle School Director position, and from there try and balance what essentially required a full-time work week with full-time school. And yet I pushed through, and by God's grace, graduation hit in May of 2011. And with it came the offer of staying on full time at The Chapel. Now here I find myself, reflecting back on this amazing journey, looking forward to a new year and the continued path at The Chapel. And I realize how amazingly blessed I am. The families at The Chapel have been so good to me, and it is such a blessing to come alongside you all, to serve you, to be honored to be trusted with your children. You all truly have a spot in my heart. Your kindness and love towards me has been amazing. I cannot imagine the challenges some face, which God has graciously spared. True, I have ups and downs, we have times of conflict, and yet God has blessed us with grace and mercy.

To the community of North Canton, it has been such an honor to come alongside our local schools. You have to put up with these middle schoolers 5 days a week. You deserve more credit than you get, and it has been an honor to be able to assist in any way possible.

I praise God for this continued opportunity to serve you, to serve alongside you. And let God receive the credit for this all: by all means I should not be here right now. My own life was dead set on anything but the church, but giving God my all, all the time. And yet he has brought me here, into your lives. And brought you into mine. His plan is greater than mine, and I pray that North Canton continues to be a part of his plan for my life.

May you know and never forget how deeply God loves you. May my life only speak of what God has done. And know that I see the work of God evident in you all. And I am so blessed and thankful that you all are a part of my life. Praise God for all these things.

In Christ,

Brummy