An Honest Question for Parents

Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:

"Do you love Jesus?"

Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.

Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration. 

I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did. 

But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.

My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.

I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?

Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?

I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa? 

Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?

Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child. 

I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.

Do you love Jesus?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

Change Must Come...

And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."

It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.

It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?

Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?

There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.

Well, God isn't calling me to.

Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?

Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."

Listen

So there's this new show on MTV called "Skins" which seems to be stirring up a lot of controversy. I am sure there will be much backlash from the conservatives, but it sparked my interest because our focus is most likely "How can they show that?" instead of "Why is it like that?" The sad truth is we have a blind eye.

Let me start by saying I have not watched an episode yet, but I am speaking from articles I have read regarding the content. I think we would all like to believe that this content is only seen in television. But in reality, it is what is facing the generation of teenagers today. While I do not at all endorse this content, I think it does open our eyes to what is going on.

One of the cast spoke on the show and its content:

Sofia, 18, defends the show, saying, "It's what teens are doing. It's the way teenagers believe, I think, especially you know in certain situations when you come from home lives where your parents don't really support you or really listen to you. That's what most of these kids are going through."

(http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/21/sofia-black-delia-skins-naughty-but-nice-with-rob/)

I would like to not talk to my middle school students in the sixth grade about these issues of drugs, alcohol, and sex. I would like to think there is no way these kids would be dealing with this. But the fact is, I can't turn a blind eye and pretend it is not going on. While we can blame shows such as 'Skins' for exposing a young generation, we can also allow it to open our eyes to a generation that is crying out. In a world where facebook, texting, and media rules, a generation is crying out in pain.

We can't expect to tell them in church "Don't do this, don't do this." What are we giving them? They are searching for meaning, for affirmation. A church who looks at many and sees them as problems rather than those hurting. Rebelling because they are misunderstood. They don't want to be seen as potheads, the girl who sleeps around. They need to be loved, to be truly loved. They need someone to listen to them. To just take time to hear them, regardless of what they are doing. Someone they can confide in who won't look at them as a "project to be fixed."

I think of a student I knew whose perception of the church was to live by the ten commandments. If her friends were not living this way, her family constantly put her down and told her to give up this company. She had no voice. Where were those who were "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry?" (James 1:19)

Do we take the time to listen to a generation that is hurting? Are we slow to speak, trying to get our word in? Are we slow to become angry if they don't get it right away?


My heart breaks for this generation. I am placed where I am because I had a problem with the church and how it was dealing and approaching youth. My plea is that God uses me to make a change, to restore the church to a point of listening, to be an ear and to be arms to hold a hurting generation. If I don't listen, I can't understand. If I am not slow to speak, it is me trying to fix someone, instead of God. If I am quick to become angry, I have no grace. I am not loving as I should be. Because I hear someone out does not mean I condone what they do. But scaring someone, forcing someone into change is not true change. Loving them and giving them something to strive for more than what they already have, that is true change.

My prayer for this year is that I would use opportunities such as 'Skins' to reach and understand a generation desperately in need of Christ. I pray I take the time to stop and listen, rather then jump and use my own (foolish, and ineffective) power in a weak attempt to change. Change comes through Christ, through love.

- Brummy