Feed My Lambs

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." (John 21:15 ESV)

What would our response be when Jesus asks us if we love him? Easily I agree we would say, "Of Course I do." But when the response is "Feed my lambs." How many will respond? I challenge you to think on this. And while you do, think upon this. Think upon these lambs:

Each week I am in contact with a few hundred students, whether from our youth group or in the local schools.

I know a lamb who opened up to me that they once thought of killing themself because of the pain of losing grandpa, dog, and know rethought because of hearing of a friend whose father died. This lamb is only 11.

I know lambs who struggle with eating disorders, fearing they are not beautiful enough to be loved.

I know lambs who are being beaten and abused within their homes, and fear with all they are that if they tell they will be separated from their parents, though they are the ones who do these things.

I know lambs who wonder if their family and friends accept them for who they are.

I know lambs who are shattered by the pains of divorce and death.

I know lambs who wrestle with the chains of addiction to drugs and porn.

They need fed. Not the lies that they must be perfect. Not the lies that because of what is going on, no one loves them, or they won't be welcomed in the church. They need the tender embrace of a shepherd, who in turn points them to the Great Shepherd, Jesus. I write this broken and crying out with all I am to God, that He would draw up those whom can speak and love these students, for who they are and where they are. Who don't see them because of what they do. Who won't judge them. God is judge, not us. They need a shepherd, who will constantly pursue, the same way God constantly pursues you.


And with all of me, I fight against the part of me which says: none will step up. None will feed the lambs. They are content sitting in the pews, they believe the lies that middle school isn't important, that it takes a certain type of person, that because they refuse to learn patience, they won't surrender themselves to letting God use them. I pray God takes these lies, and I pray that we take our walk seriously. Feed my lambs, Jesus said. I know hundreds of lambs in Stark County, wandering aimlessly, waiting for those to rise up and point them to the Great Shepherd. It won't be easy. But look at the cross: why should anything about what we do be easy or comfortable.

What We Need

Today began with worries of how I would make it in to work. I have been without a car of my own since Thursday. But God provides.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 4:19 (ESV)

Funny how true this has been. I was blessed to be able to use a car of a church members this weekend, and today I was picked up as I walked down Main Street in North Canton by another church member and dropped at the church. I was then able to find a ride later to a local middle school where I began tutoring. As I walked up, the students were all rushing to reach their buses and I grinned as my heart beat in my chest, a bit nervous. It was, after all, my "first day" at school. After being sent three different places I stumbled upon about 60 students sitting in the theater. I smiled as after being introduced a few kids introduced themselves, most just asking where I went to school, if I was in my teens (ooh yah I still look young even with a beard...er maybe because they know I can't grow one!) My heart instantly went out to all the students, and I knew just from being there a few minutes these next weeks through May would be amazing.

As I walked down through the school with the students, I engaged in light conversation by many, helped a few 5th grade girls know it was ok to stay with the line of students, even though we were walking through the boys locker room. Oh the fears of an adolescent. Once in the room, kids talked loudly as they found chairs and I realized it was myself and another school staff member trying to work and control these students. And I couldn't be happier, and yet more sad. As I looked I called out in my head, guessing what each student's story was. I could tell those who were from broken homes, those who had no friends, those who I knew desperately tried to fit in, those who wanted to be seen as "men" because it was important for them to be tough. I guess its my gift, I can usually tell what someone is going through, at least have a pretty good idea. And it was great as the students slowly opened up. Thats what's great about my job, and working with middle school students. They get around to liking you pretty quick.

And I sat and realized how blessed I am, and just why God has placed me here in North Canton. Its sad to see how many churches are in the area, and yet as I have begun to seek out relationships in the community, I wonder how many are involved outside their walls? (And I do not at all mean this to be a blog against those, I love the local church leaders here. I am blessed to be a part of a great church community.) But I stop and say, look at the need here. Look at these kids who just need someone to love them. Do we even understand the reason many of these students act out is because at home they have no attention? At home they are over-looked. When a teacher has to ask what a mothers last name is now, what does it say about the male figures in their lives? And I wonder and pray, will our generation fall into the same pattern.

And I stop and realize I am so amazingly blessed to be able to spend time with these students. I'm not looking to say anything to them. I want to listen, to know them. They don't need anyone else to tell them what to do. They have enough people telling them to do things, but no one listening to them, helping them sort through, and showing them what to do.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

- 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

I wonder where we forget passages like this? Our words have truth when there are actions behind them reflecting and speaking for them. If I'm truly about Christ, I will be there to listen to these students. I will put up with their little antics because, lets face it: they aren't adults yet. But sadly, they are forced to deal with adult situations. I wonder how many of these students have been told "I Love You." by any adult. And yet, I could probably count (with a calculator) how many times they have been told "Don't do that." It's easier to tell them not to do something, than for someone to actually care and listen. And, sometimes, just let them be kids.

I am excited for this year. I am excited for my students I see every Sunday. I am excited for these new students I will be in contact with every week. Because for me, I am not called to sit behind the walls of a church office. I am not called to be a light in a church office. (Well, its not the extent of it) I am called to be in the community. People don't want to hear us talk about God, don't want to just see us walk into a church. They want to see us be active among them, where they are at.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

- Matthew 9:36

I see many sheep who are without a shepherd. I am beginning to see God has placed me here to watch over these students. To be a light for Him here in this community, in these schools. To these families. So that even if they haven't heard someone say "I Love You" they would know, there is one greater than any on this earth who so desperately wants you to know "I LOVE YOU."