What Have We Done

What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.

I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?

We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?

I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal. 


But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.

- Brummy

The New Reality of Middle School

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)

I think some of us have lost grip on just what it means to be in middle school. Some of those reading this may have a child in middle school, but I am not sure all of us are awake and aware to the reality of what it means to be in middle school. In my personal opinion, this is possibly the most important time in a person's life. It is a time of transition, one in which they are beginning to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives, while still being in a phase of being shapeable and being impacted by others. One thing is certain: a middle schooler is no longer a child. 

To be honest with you, these are some of the things our students are going through right now, either because they wrote them on prayer cards, because they have told me, or because I have witnessed them from being "on their turf" in the schools on a monthly/weekly basis.

• Wondering if friends & family accept them
• Major anxiety
• Bullies
• Dealing with family's divorce
• Father not being at home and causing stress
• Loss of Father
• Loss of grandparents
• Hurting for sister who "feels insignificant and un-loved"
• Sexual and vulgar thoughts, feeling hopeless to keep mind clean from them
• Friends at school leaving them out and talking about student behind back
• Cutting
• Suicidal thoughts
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Anger
• Drugs

Too often I see middle schoolers being stereotyped into "annoying, frustrating" who can't have spiritual conversations. They get tossed into this category, and sadly, it sickens me. Many would rather invest in high school students who can "hold a mature conversation, about deep spiritual things." This truly breaks my heart. Because honestly, if there are not those willing to step in now, there are many for whom it will be too late by high school. (Not that God doesn't work, but in my life experience, by freshman year, I witnessed my friends already set on paths which they have followed for the most part to this day. The most critical time was middle school.) Middle school was when my struggles began, and had truly set in by freshman year.

The new reality is this - middle schoolers deal with even more than I ever imagined dealing with, that I am certain you ever imagined dealing with. Do not overlook these students, deeply loved by God. Don't see them just as annoying, as immature. We cannot imagine what most of them go through. And each and every one is desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

Wait for the Lord

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

This past month I have learned much about waiting for the Lord. Many difficult situations have been thrown at me, and through them I have had to wait for God. For God to give me the wisdom as to what (or what not) to say. And before all this, I believe I was waiting for the Lord.

Much of what I do is spending time with students. I believe relationships are critical, foundational, to sharing the gospel to students. I believe relationships allow (and force) one to speak without ever saying a word. By our actions, modeling a sacrificial love, it then brings us into places to actually use words to speak what we believe, to use words to speak God's truth and love. But this all involves a lot of waiting, waiting for the Lord, and His timing. That the relationships you pour and invest to, knowing you are in them because of God's love, involve a lot of waiting. I've waited a lot with students. Waited for opportunities to speak what I believe, while quietly doing my best to model God's love to them. I waited, praying sometimes that God would give opportunities for me to speak.

And then, funny how God works, it all hit at once. A lot happened. But it involved a lot of waiting. Waiting on the Lord, because for awhile I wondered if what we did at 180 Student Ministries made an impact, if the truth we preached was getting across. And it was. But it was on God's timing, not mine. It wasn't during that "awesome" worship service we had poured hours into, from that tear jerking Passion video. It was in the simple moments after a Connect Group, in the wake of the passing of a beloved father, in the quiet moments before a midnight showing of a movie. It involved a lot of waiting. It was a test, a challenge.

But what I have learned is this: wait for the Lord. For his timing. Be strong through it all. Because you don't know how things will play out. Just because a student doesn't respond in an awesome service which seems to be the most spirit-filled, doesn't mean the message wasn't gotten across. Be faithful in your relationships, first to God, and second to those in your life. Live out what you believe, because most people want to see they can trust you before they trust you with words. Take courage, know that God is at work. And wait for Him.

- Brummy.