An Honest Question for Parents

Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:

"Do you love Jesus?"

Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.

Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration. 

I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did. 

But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.

My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.

I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?

Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?

I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa? 

Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?

Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child. 

I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.

Do you love Jesus?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

A Post for Parents

Let me start by saying I have no idea what it must be like to be a parent. But I know what it is like to be a child, to be man, to be a sinner, in desperate need of the grace of God. I know how much I tend to project my desires of what other people should be onto others. I may be doing that in this post. But I write in hope that this is only my heart, which is being wrenched from within me, crying out as I survey the community of North Canton and surrounding area in which God has placed me. He has placed me in this role, he has placed me here to guide. He must be the one guiding because without Him I am completely blind. Yet I look and see, see how often our personal tendencies project through. Parents, this is heartfelt from one who has experienced this personally as a child. And yet, this is also a message of hope, for a God who has restored the broken and frayed relationship I had.

Is your child loved because they are your child? Or are their certain things you really require of them for you to love them? Do they have to play sports? Perhaps it runs in your family, perhaps you were captain of the swim team, perhaps you are a marathon runner. Have you let these things define you in that it must also define your son or daughter? True, we all desire good things for those we love, but the best is Christ. And what if we must surrender these things to make room for Christ? Will we ourselves do it? Will we allow our children to do this? To make the choice to surrender these things?

Well, that's not how it works. They need this to get into this college...They need to be involved in these social clubs to get a good career. If these are the responses we make, that I make, I need to step back and ask whom I follow. Who my life is about. We must also stop and think about how our words impact those we love. While I trust you will still love your child without them doing these things, I hear stories of students who fear that if they do not do this, their parents will no longer have a reason to love them.

I sat on the bench of a court, watching my buddies play basketball for numerous years. I was on the team and not very good. And to me, I thought I had to be, had to at least play. Because it was then my dad loved me. Some sit and wish their parents were at a game, while perhaps you are busy at work, wanting to buy your family all the things your dad couldn't afford. Yes, things are nice. But honestly, when I get to this point in life, it is time I look back and wish I had more of. Was I happy for that gameboy where I logged hours playing Pokemon? Sort of. Do I wish I just had more time to go hang out with my father, back when I was still a child. Yes isn't a strong enough word. Do I wish I knew and could tell myself how much my father did love me. That his words were misunderstood by me, that I didn't have to be the best at sports.

Parents, my desire is you would spend time with your child. That you would love them for more than the sport they play, the grades they get. As Christ has loved us. I know I have no idea of what it means to be a father, but my heart breaks at the thought of making the mistake of trying to define who my child is outside of anything but Christ. The day I try and make my child live out what I wish I was, or what I think would be the best other than what Christ has made them to be, is the day I have failed. And I will fail. But I challenge myself, I challenge you, if you are truly in Christ, to love as Christ loves. To let your son or daughter know they are so much more than their grades, their athletics, what school they attend or what college they get in to, or what career they have chosen. For these things are worthless in the grand scheme.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust[e] destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him." - 1 John 3:1

In Christ,


Brummy