ReThink: Discipling Students vs Volunteering (Pt 1)

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22 (ESV)

Just wanted to share a few brief thoughts on rethinking our roles in student ministry for those who would be lay-leaders. What would it look like if we shifted from volunteering to discipling? Today I am going to just look at the personal aspects - what it means for us.

1. It means we are drawn out of comfort, what we have known, and where we like to be into something we are not comfortable with, we don't know, and may not like to be.

The first disciples Jesus called were fishermen - they knew how to catch fish. They weren't scholars, they weren't orators, and they probably weren't good people persons. But what did Jesus do? He said come follow me.

Get up an leave your comfort, leave what you are good at, leave your family, and come follow me.

When we volunteer it is usually for something we know a little bit about, enjoy doing, and a cause we deem worthy of our time.

Jesus says follow me - not because we are somehow skilled in a way, not because we have certain qualifications - but in spite of all that. 

If we truly love Jesus we will follow Him and the call to make disciples. But we must understand that it is a call to discomfort, weakness, and at times frustration. It won't fit our schedule - it will at times be inconvenient. But it will be so worthwhile. To follow our Savior, abandoning all that the world would say is rational and living a life whole-heartedly for Him - can you imagine? Those actions alone - being able to with your life mirror to a student one who is simply following - who isn't here because they think are good with words, because they think they have a really good understanding of God, who is simply the most unlikely candidate. And yet says - because I am following Jesus, because of what He has done in my life - I will invest in yours. That is radical. To say - its not dependent on some guy who went to bible college and has a degree - but in the mom or grandpa or college student who is in no way "qualified" yet in every way called by Jesus to disciple and love on these students.

Is Youth Ministry Really Where We Went Wrong?

"⁴² And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. ⁴³ And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. ⁴⁴ And all who believed were together and had all things in common. ⁴⁵ And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. ⁴⁶ And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." - Acts 2:42-47 (ESV)

It's been said that youth ministry went wrong somewhere - shocking statistics about how many students leave church after high school. And I agree - for many church became just a "thing" they do. However, I also wonder if the blame can really be upon student ministry. As I walk into our church each week - I notice something about what we are trying to do in student ministry. We don't at all have it perfect - but I look and reflect back on my experience in student ministry and realize there was something happening there, something good, which often time is missed in terms of the large church.

I had leaders who pursued me, pursued me weekly. Currently, our team is about connecting - having each student, even first time visitors, connected to a leader. Someone who remembers their visit - who follows up. Because it has to be about more than that Sunday morning or Wednesday night, it has to be a living, breathing everyday thing. Because our walk with God is a living, breathing everyday thing. We gather as a community - to worship - united as one in worship to our God and King. We have moments where we eat together, where we talk throughout the week. That we laugh together, call each other out, etc. Sure - some only come for fun times - but I've noticed a change. Because we are genuine and real - students who "only came for fun things" have begun to desire to be connected. To belong to a community.

So my question now becomes, as students engage in this community, focused upon Christ, what do I have to pass them off to? Because honestly, when I walk into a sanctuary of 800+ it does feel as though something is missing. It does feel as though many are just going through the motions. It is too easy to be comfortable, to be lost in the crowd. I've never felt pursued by others there. I don't know many names - I don't have opportunity beforehand to build community. I watch others slowly file in to their rows, thumb through bulletins or iPhones, wait for the music to start and keep to themselves. And "adult bible fellowships" seem to function more like classes to learn than communities to learn, challenge, grow, and walk alongside one another.

Now - I love being able to worship and gather - and it is important. But I think there is a great aspect missing here. Because I worship with these students - but beforehand we don't just sit idly. And if I see a student sitting alone - if our students see someone sitting along - we change that. We approach, get to know - invite to come over to the cafe and drink some hot chocolate. Things we do to intentionally build community, to create relationships. To learn about each other and to learn about God together, to be able to challenge, to be able to trust, to be able to live life together.

I guess what I am wrestling with is, is it student ministry that causes students to leave the church? Or is there something bigger that is missing? Is there an aspect of faith that is overlooked, forgotten, lost in our big services and big ways of doing church?

- Brummy

Praise

I praise God for this past year.

I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.

I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.

I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.

I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.

I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.

I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.

I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.

I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.

I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.

A New Day

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14

Today is a new day. Stop and rest in that. You can't change what happened yesterday. You can't change the mistakes, the hurts, the failures of yesterday. But here is the truth: God's grace is new everyday. Do not be tied down to whatever you did yesterday (or whatever you didn't do.) We are free in Christ, though that freedom does not give us freedom to sin it offers us the freedom that when we do, His grace has washed over us. Don't define yourself by what you did yesterday, look to Christ today and know that it is a new day. A new day to press forward in Christ, as best you can. And when you fall, He will lift you back up. Rest in that, forget about yesterday, don't let it tie you down. Press on toward the goal. Forget what lies behind you. Strain towards what lies ahead.

"Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved." - Philippians 4:1 

The New Reality of Middle School

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)

I think some of us have lost grip on just what it means to be in middle school. Some of those reading this may have a child in middle school, but I am not sure all of us are awake and aware to the reality of what it means to be in middle school. In my personal opinion, this is possibly the most important time in a person's life. It is a time of transition, one in which they are beginning to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives, while still being in a phase of being shapeable and being impacted by others. One thing is certain: a middle schooler is no longer a child. 

To be honest with you, these are some of the things our students are going through right now, either because they wrote them on prayer cards, because they have told me, or because I have witnessed them from being "on their turf" in the schools on a monthly/weekly basis.

• Wondering if friends & family accept them
• Major anxiety
• Bullies
• Dealing with family's divorce
• Father not being at home and causing stress
• Loss of Father
• Loss of grandparents
• Hurting for sister who "feels insignificant and un-loved"
• Sexual and vulgar thoughts, feeling hopeless to keep mind clean from them
• Friends at school leaving them out and talking about student behind back
• Cutting
• Suicidal thoughts
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Anger
• Drugs

Too often I see middle schoolers being stereotyped into "annoying, frustrating" who can't have spiritual conversations. They get tossed into this category, and sadly, it sickens me. Many would rather invest in high school students who can "hold a mature conversation, about deep spiritual things." This truly breaks my heart. Because honestly, if there are not those willing to step in now, there are many for whom it will be too late by high school. (Not that God doesn't work, but in my life experience, by freshman year, I witnessed my friends already set on paths which they have followed for the most part to this day. The most critical time was middle school.) Middle school was when my struggles began, and had truly set in by freshman year.

The new reality is this - middle schoolers deal with even more than I ever imagined dealing with, that I am certain you ever imagined dealing with. Do not overlook these students, deeply loved by God. Don't see them just as annoying, as immature. We cannot imagine what most of them go through. And each and every one is desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

Unescapable

Life is a journey. Each of us walks their own path. And often its easy to fall into the trap of looking at the person next to you, wishing in part you had their life. And yet, deep inside, when we are honest, we know the life God has called us to. Yes, to himself. But to some, the path is different than others.

Living a life for Christ can take a toll, nothing compared to what Christ suffered upon the cross for us. But I have yet to learn how to disconnect. And perhaps that is good. How do I disconnect from knowing the pains of students who sit at home this evening feeling unloved and unwanted? How do I laugh with friends knowing the student who has no friends to laugh with? How do I so easily forget the student who no longer has a father to speak to, to hug, to laugh, to cry with on this earth? All I can do is fall on my knees in surrender to my savior, asking why me? What do I have to offer? Nothing but Christ. But because of the life He has called me to lead, I cannot disconnect.

Many will not know what its like. I can't use words to describe. I can't explain why. And I can't change this life I am called to. I can't do it your way, I am only me as God has created me to be. And whole-heartedly in love I serve, because of what God has done for me. I cannot explain this unescapable love. And I cannot disconnect showing that love to these students, I can't turn off this burning passion within me, overflowing from my God and my King.

And so through it all I will persevere. Through the feelings of loneliness and pain, knowing that God is here, God is at work, God is present, whether I feel Him or not. Whether I sense Him or not.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

- Brummy

Feed My Lambs

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." (John 21:15 ESV)

What would our response be when Jesus asks us if we love him? Easily I agree we would say, "Of Course I do." But when the response is "Feed my lambs." How many will respond? I challenge you to think on this. And while you do, think upon this. Think upon these lambs:

Each week I am in contact with a few hundred students, whether from our youth group or in the local schools.

I know a lamb who opened up to me that they once thought of killing themself because of the pain of losing grandpa, dog, and know rethought because of hearing of a friend whose father died. This lamb is only 11.

I know lambs who struggle with eating disorders, fearing they are not beautiful enough to be loved.

I know lambs who are being beaten and abused within their homes, and fear with all they are that if they tell they will be separated from their parents, though they are the ones who do these things.

I know lambs who wonder if their family and friends accept them for who they are.

I know lambs who are shattered by the pains of divorce and death.

I know lambs who wrestle with the chains of addiction to drugs and porn.

They need fed. Not the lies that they must be perfect. Not the lies that because of what is going on, no one loves them, or they won't be welcomed in the church. They need the tender embrace of a shepherd, who in turn points them to the Great Shepherd, Jesus. I write this broken and crying out with all I am to God, that He would draw up those whom can speak and love these students, for who they are and where they are. Who don't see them because of what they do. Who won't judge them. God is judge, not us. They need a shepherd, who will constantly pursue, the same way God constantly pursues you.


And with all of me, I fight against the part of me which says: none will step up. None will feed the lambs. They are content sitting in the pews, they believe the lies that middle school isn't important, that it takes a certain type of person, that because they refuse to learn patience, they won't surrender themselves to letting God use them. I pray God takes these lies, and I pray that we take our walk seriously. Feed my lambs, Jesus said. I know hundreds of lambs in Stark County, wandering aimlessly, waiting for those to rise up and point them to the Great Shepherd. It won't be easy. But look at the cross: why should anything about what we do be easy or comfortable.

Reality of Middle School

And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." - Luke 5:30-32 (ESV)

Occasionally I enter into the crazy world known as the middle school cafeteria. It is a humbling experience, and gives me much insight into the world of the students I work with. This is a part of the students everyday life, something I am privileged to see a side of, apart from a church meeting, where its not just Christian friends, or church kids. Its a whole pot of people, from the preppy kids, to the "emo" kids, to those who are socially awkward, to the kids who have disabilities. And it gives me insight to a world full of people who are all the same: in need of the love of Christ.

I always get the weird stares, but I also get the connection gained with consistency. There are some kids whose names I forget, but who know me as the "guy with cool converse" or as Arty, since I bear some resemblance to this character from the tv hit Glee. I see my students, and I see my students friends, and I see students whom I would otherwise have no connection with. It brings joy now that I hear cries of "Brummy!" and my best little 7th grade lunch table always makes me laugh, and hopefully not get in trouble.

Today, however, I had a conversation with an 8th grade student about the reality of middle school. He asked me to pray for him, the last words I would expect to hear at a middle school lunch table, let alone inside a church from an 8th grade guy. And yet, he asked me to pray for him. And he began to talk about the reality of middle school: the kid who was under house arrest and no one knew why, and didn't blame it on the kid but on his tough situation. That he couldn't define any person as a "good" person in his grade, a reality that hit me.

I also briefly talked to a table which had intimidated me, it was the 8th grade wrestling team, the guys who looked like they should be in high school. But one kid waved me over briefly. And I realized, all these kids are just searching out for the same thing: a sense of love and purpose which hasn't been found in anything their friends of school has offered. Its a sense which I hope I resonate, because it took me forever to find. The love of Christ, and redemption through his sacrifice is the only place one can find purpose, wholeness, and meaning. These kids don't see many adults who would choose to be there. I get confused with a lunch monitor, to which I respond, I am not. I work at a church and I'm just here visiting because I want to. I don't want to preach at them, don't want to convert them. I want my actions to display what I believe. If all I have are words, then I've missed something. Jesus didn't just say he loved us, he demonstrated it. In the same way, I see a lot of kids who may have heard church lingo, heard people say they're loved or to live a certain way, but how many see it being lived out?

I'll be honest, it sucks sometimes. But these kids need people who willingly choose to be a part of their lives, outside of the church walls, outside of small group. Saying, you matter to me more than an hour on Sunday or Wednesday, because to God you matter more than that. Which is why I'll text, I'll facebook, I'll tweet, I'll skype, because it allows me to communicate with them. To let them know they matter beyond what they think, beyond what they have perceived from the church in the past. That I'm not going to be afraid to enter into their world, because they need someone to. They need someone to come in and show them the love of Jesus. That person who is willing to sit down and eat with them, talk with them, play video games with them. Even when someone would say, dude you're 22, get a life. Dude, you're a mom, just worry about your own kids. Dude, no kid wants to hang with you. Dude, you can't really do anything for them. Dude, they're a lost cause. Don't fall for this, don't let fear or intimidation stop you.

There is a world of people looking to be shown what it means to follow Christ, who need to see what the love of Christ looks like in everyday life. Most of them live right next door to you. Its easy to board a plane, and yes its needed. But look at your friends, the kids on your block, who need that person to shine a light for Christ in their lives.

- Brummy

No Bull...

This past week has been crazy. This past month has been crazy. I have learned a lot, I have had my ups, had my downs. And all I anticipate as the holidays move forward is more craziness. Perhaps in my life directly, more likely in the lives of those I am in contact with on a daily basis.

However, the one thing I have been learning is this: being real matters.

Students have many questions, they have things they hear at school, from friends, from the media, things which may seem "unchurch" topics. And yet, what topic is not a "church" topic? Things we would deem not to talk about, for example: bestiality. Funny, God talks about this.

Leviticus 18:23, Exodus 22:19, and Leviticus 20:16 all hit this topic. These laws, setting in place the understanding that sex with animals was wrong was put in place by God because the gentile world was under the impression that these things were alright. But see, God doesn't just say "don't do it." There is a define for what sex is, in what context it is intended, and that it is a good thing. This is just an example, but it is the concept I am trying to hit on. The Bible addressees, quite frankly, something today we would say "Don't even mention in the church!" Is it awkward to talk about? Yes! But here is the deal: there are things the world talks about, talks about frankly, and gives its input on. So why should the church hush the questions, frank as they may be, on certain topics? Because they make us feel uncomfortable? What is uncomfortable is knowing that there are thousands of youth who walk into churches every day with the impression they must put on a mask, that they cannot be real, talk about things they hear at school, hear from those who have dealt with these things before or who can give insight on these things.

In my conversations with students, I seek out truth and honesty. I set in place a circle of trust, meaning what is shared is shared in confidence. There are no dumb questions. And also no bull*. Lets be real. If something is going on, if you have a question ask it. God knows your heart, your mind, what is going on. Why, then, should we be afraid to hear these questions? Or to ask them? Or to share? It may not be an easy conversation, but we aren't meant to be the geniuses, to have all the answers. Point to Christ, to the Word of God. Let God speak, let His truth shine.

- Brummy

Live as You Are Called

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 (ESV)

Many wonder how or why I do middle school ministry. And I will tell you. Because I see it as one of the most important and critical time periods in a persons life. These years, in my personal opinion, are critical in that a person begins to make choices which will stick with them the rest of their life. Entering into 6th grade you begin to leave childhood behind, and exiting 8th grade your feet are beginning to be set on paths which you will follow into your adult life.

It is here that the world throws things at you: sex, drugs, porn, alcohol, status, fame, depression, eating disorders. And I look and say: how can one not see this critical time. Because while the world is throwing these things, there is still the sense of childlike innocence, still the ear willing to listen, the voice wanting to be heard.

You may see these kids as kids: telling poop jokes, farting, not paying attention. And I have seen them as God's beloved children: lost in a very big world, reaching out. Asking questions about God. Seeking to find love and answers to why they feel a certain way. Afraid to ask questions because for some reason, adults don't think its okay to question things. Read the Psalms. How many times did the Psalmists cry out to God, asking why He had abandoned them. Yet it all came back to hope: knowing that God would never forsake them. This is the hope, the only thing I can offer, to middle school students. And this is why middle school ministry, in my mind, is real ministry. God loves these students where they are at. He doesn't need them to be more theologically sound. Because God doesn't need anything from us. And He doesn't love you or me more because we "know" more than a middle schooler does.

I wouldn't trade what I am doing now for anything. I have no plans of moving on, because to me, there is no moving on. I get that maybe you haven't been called to work with youth, or middle school. But please do not let that degrade the calling God has given someone else. I am not called to adults (at this moment, and it doesn't mean I don't have ministry there. My focus, however is on middle school students and the adults in their lives.) yet you may be called there. Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him. And let us not diminish the individual callings God has placed on each of us. I am only Matt Brumfield, and I don't expect you to be me, nor should you expect me to be you. We are individuals, broken and wretched, yet used by God for His glory.

He has given me a passion for middle school students. I pray wherever your passion is, in Christ, you would use it for His glory. And do it well, where he has called you, not looking down on another, but celebrating and embracing where each other has been called.

- Brummy

A Note To Parents: Do Not Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

I get small glimpses of what it must be like to be a parent of a middle schooler. What a strange age, where there is a part that is still such a child and another part tugging away, resisting mom and dad's authority and often times seeing with blinders on their eyes. But with this, I also see a side of the students which mom and dad often don't see. Both good and bad, but moreso good.

I want to write this to encourage parents: do not fear. I can't imagine how many times my parents must have been worried that their little boy was suddenly becoming this rebellious, out of control, adolescent. (And at times I was.) And yet, there is another side I see revealed. I have witnessed students who go from being uber disrespectful towards mom and dad to standing beside me, inviting themselves to our new third worship time and singing. Now, this surprises me: most middle school guys don't sing, or if they do its in a funny voice to get attention. And here I stood - next to a seventh grade student who really has a great voice, listening to his singing in worship to His God and Savior. And I knew - why do I fear? My job isn't to worry about every little choice a student makes. Because in the end I can't control it. My job is to love. To speak the truth, to point them to Christ, to give insight on choices they do make. But not to fear, because in fearing I have begun to stop trusting in God. That he is in control, that he has a plan for this student's life.

I hope you would know that the perfect love of Christ gives us no reason to fear. That because our Holy God sent Christ, His son, to be our perfect atoning sacrifice - there is no reason to fear. While we ourselves, while a student, may get off track for a time, God never lets go of them. God who interceded, sent His son to be "Immanuel" - God with us - is certainly present today, working in us and through us. I want you to be encouraged that whatever is going on, things that frighten, either from your child, from the world, that there is no reason to fear. God has called us out, to something greater than us.

And so my role is one of love, that even in the times the students turn to disrespect me, when I feel I have had enough, I think of that perfect love. I think of Christ on the cross. The One who knew know sin took it upon himself, and in those moments I push through, by God's grace, turning to the students in love. Parents - you are doing something right, be encouraged, know that middle school is a crazy time, but let us together set aside fear and love - because we first have been loved.

- Brummy

Who Will This Year Be About?

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

In my preparation for our spring series on the book of Galatians, this verse has been hitting hard with me. Six days into the new year, I have also been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting on the past year and wondering about what is to come. And with it comes this question: who will this year be about? Will it be about Matt Brumfield? Will it be about my accomplishments? Of course, if it is, there will be a reason behind doing those things. Already I have the tendency to stop and ask, will doing this upset this person? How will this help or hinder my relationship with this person?

I have to stop and take a step back. I have to realize this year cannot be about me. It cannot be about trying to make every family in the church happy with our ministry. It cannot be about connecting with everyone I want to in the community. When it comes down to it, it must be about seeking to follow God. That in each and every thing I do, it is done for Him, because I know it will please Him.

Jesus didn't make people happy. In fact he made a lot of people unhappy. So why should I expect that in following Him everyone will be happy with me? There are some already who really want nothing to do with what I have to say, what I believe in. We have ties, some of them family ties, others deep friendships, but when it comes down to my God and Savior, they want nothing. I can't make them happy. There are some who have a mindset of a certain way to "do church," of a certain opinion of what things to talk about or not to talk about. I can tell you honestly, I won't please them. I am not one who holds to a "there are things not to talk about." While I may not bring them up, if a student is going through something, or is faced with a situation, I don't hold a "don't talk about it just read your Bible" stance. I take a let's talk about it and then examine God's word and see what he has to say.

Post-rant about why I will not make people happy - This year I pray that my focus is kept on Christ. That I will not do things to gain the approval of men. This got me nowhere, and it will honestly get you nowhere. If you live for man, you die to man, empty, void, incomplete. But if you live for Christ, die for Christ, you gain everlasting life with our Heavenly Father. Who knows what this year will bring. Let us bring to it hearts longing and seeking to serve God.

In Christ,

Brummy

Where Do You Seek Rest?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

As we move into 2012, I have noticed there seems to be a lot of weariness. Perhaps this season was crazier than others. Life seems to be crazier and heavier now than it has been for a lot of people, myself included. Many of us are looking for rest, whether in middle school, high school, college, parents, grandparents, pastors, leaders, interns. So the question arises, where do we find rest?

There are things which, of course, we tend to turn to for a bit of personal escape, which I believe is alright. Fishing, for a good friend of mine. Music and starbucks for others. Perhaps video games for some.  And while these things are great (I enjoy all but fishing...) I think we have the tendency to forget to rest in God. Especially those of us who are continually investing and pouring into the lives of others.

Personally, I have a problem. Its a good one though. My heart grows heavy and breaks for those who are hurting and searching in life. And with that means I have to balance an understanding that I cannot be Jesus, but I can do my best to point them to Jesus through my actions and words. I can be there for them, but I cannot fix them. Sometimes this gets me down. And sometime, being around a lot of hurting students and people all week weighs me down. Which reminds me why I need Matthew 11:28. That when I am weary, weary of seeing so much brokenness, I run to God. That when I feel weighed down by seeing broken families, I turn to Christ. That I surrender it to Him. That I rest in the fact that He knows they are hurting, that God is a God who redeems, who restores. And He does it on his timing. My own life wasn't turned around in a day. It was more like a 20 some year process, cause its still in the works. And while its not easy to grasp, I can rest in the hope of Christ. I can come to Him when I feel overwhelmed in life, in ministry, with a student, with a family.

And you, where do you go when you are overwhelmed?  You are not abandoned. You are not alone. You don't have to fix everything. You can't fix everything. But you can turn to the One who loves you more deeply than you could ever imagine. Rest in Him, turn to Him, and we have this promise: God will give us rest, if we come to Him.

In Christ,

- Brummy

Holy...Have we lost sight

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" - Isaiah 6:3

 My heart has been uneasy lately. I am not sure why, perhaps it is getting to the midway point of my first true year in middle school ministry, so I am processing things I have done, what could be done better, what must change, mistakes I have made, mistakes I am making. Amidst all this I am trying my best to stay focused on God. Trying to stay focused on God for who He is, amidst how I see God responded to in light of what I will call the "modern American church."

I have realized that our culture has shifted greatly from the culture of the Israelites and the New Testament early church. And I realize in this transition we may have lost something. We are preparing this week to begin a series on Christmas, although it does not have the traditional "nativity story" start. It begins back with Moses, with Yahweh, at the command to build the tabernacle. Some reading this have no idea what the tabernacle was. Read Exodus, there are like 11 chapters there about it. Essentially, it was the place where God dwelled among the Israelites, a place set apart just for God. It was the Holy place. The word holy is the Hebrew Qadesh meaning: to be set apart for a special purpose. To the Israelites, the understood God in light of his holiness. He was feared, because he was holy. He was perfect in his goodness, in his attributes, and he was feared because they realized how far from him they were. The place God dwelled could only be entered once a year by the high priest, and even then was the fear of the priest being struck down by God, because God is holy. And we are not.

In the light of todays present society, we lose sight of what it means for God to be holy. Too often we take for granted what it really means for God, in his holiness, to send his Son to die for us. For God to dwell, to tabernacle in us through the Holy Spirit. Do we take time to realize a holy God paid the price to buy us back, amidst all the times we have turned from him?

Israel based their lives around God. True, they were not perfect. But the tabernacle was with them, they were led through the wilderness. Did they have their times of doubt? Absolutely. Their times of failure and distrust? Absolutely.

Today, however, I get the sense we based God around our lives. We take for granted His holiness, focusing on the fact we have his grace. If I can read this morning, I will. If I can make it to church, I will. Oh, I'm just too tired. If the High Priest was too tired to make the sacrifices, it could mean his end, the people's end when he entered the Holy of Holies. Today, we are so focused on self. We have created a culture dependent upon us. Until something goes wrong, and then still we become upset with God for not making things work our way. The Israelites had this too, anger at God for leading them into the wilderness to starve, anger at God for leading them to the promised land which was filled with giants. For us, we like making it on our own without God, and we grow frustrated when we don't see Him do things our way.

I am in no way an advocate for saying one must attend church every Sunday because that is a true Christian. But if we honestly search our hearts, when God searches our hearts, what is our life built upon? Is it revolving around a holy God, who in His perfect goodness reached down to us, came down to us, paid the price for our sins, was the ultimate High Priest, so we may be in relationship with Him again? Or is it based upon the fact God is simply God, a good choice, someone we sometimes follow, when it is convenient to us. Because life is busy. Yeah, God, life is busy, you know this. I mean, I have to work to support my family. My kids need to play sports because this may be the only time they can, they're only kids once. And we really need to do this, and that, and this. Yeah, we'll read our bible here for an hour each night. But when we create God to be a time-slot in our lives, we lose sight of his holiness, who he is.

Let our lives be focused on Him, and all we do come from His love, His goodness. When I work, I work because of the work he has done in me. When I am with friends, I am a light to them. When I am with family, I love them as He has loved me. When I play sports, I play for the Lord, giving Him glory and thanks. God is not a "time-slot" in our day, in our lives. He must be center stage, for He is perfect in goodness, He is holy.

disclaimer: these are just some random thoughts stirring in my head, spit out here. I don't pretend to be an expert, to have it all right.

- Brummy

A Lesson from Middle School Jesus - For Parents

   I was reading this story in Luke of Jesus when he was a boy (twelve years old) so middle school Jesus. What a great age. And what a great story. Its in Luke 2:41-52, and Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem at the temple, his parents assuming he was with them in the caravan (I believe, but check for yourself, it was common for them to travel together and thus almost communally care for each others children, which is why they could go a whole day's journey without noticing middle school Jesus wasn't with them.)

  I find a few things interesting, first is when they find Jesus he is with the teachers, so of course we see he was in a good place. But second, and this speaks a lot to the middle school age, Jesus was listening to them and asking them questions. One of these I'm not sure middle schoolers today do so well, the second I know they do. But, I believe they desire both. However, too often we seem to want them to listen without leaving room for questions. (After all, who wants to be questioned?)

And yet, this speaks so clearly to what the middle school student needs. They need those to speak into their lives truth, but they also need someone then to listen to their questions. I wonder if we leave room for this? Do you leave room for your son or daughter to ask you questions? We have a rule in our small group, in fact in the entire middle school youth group. There are no dumb questions. We forget that developmentally, our minds can comprehend things and often think in different ways. However, these "silly" or "stupid" questions a middle schooler asks to them are important in their development and understanding who they are.

  I think too often we tend to fear questions, because we fear it means they won't believe what we want them to. And yet, I encourage students to question. We had a time last night where I asked them what challenges they have in either believing in God or following God. And then I stopped to listen, to let them ask questions, and then respond. Some shared that they get God created everything, but how could got not have been created. That is why it was difficult for them to believe and follow. Now perhaps a response would be "You just have to! You don't ask that!" But I stopped, I shared honestly that the question is a challenge. Its difficult to wrap our heads around. (Honestly, can you fully explain and comprehend how God always was, is, and will be? If so, please give me a call.)

  I look and see a desire for students to be heard, to be able to ask questions, and they will respond to those who allow them to by listening. My students listen to my response when I allow them to question, to seek. As parents, I encourage you to have this discussion. But let it be discussion, let your kids do most of the talking. Let them ask the question. And don't be afraid to answer with "I don't know, but let's find out together." That will mean more, and your child will appreciate it. Personally, I know I wanted to be allowed to ask questions to my parents, to discuss them. But I feared their response would be to try and throw a ton of stuff at me or tell me "you just have to believe it, okay!" I wanted an open conversation, where they would listen to my questions, and in turn I could listen to their response, whether with an answer or an "I don't know."

Do you take time for your middle schooler to ask questions? Do you listen to them? They have questions, they have things they are seeking to understand. And we must listen to them, must seek to be honest and real. Its a part of life, and if we just close up or tell them not to ask it, they will ask somewhere else.

  Jesus sought the teachers of the temple, seeking those who would listen and allow him to ask questions. Does your middle schooler know they can ask you questions and you will honestly listen? I am not a parent, but I am challenged by this. Because I do want students to get it, to understand. But I realize I must allow them to ask me these questions, because it is what is on their hearts and minds, and things they are seeking. Better they hear from us than from the world, wouldn't you agree?

  - Brummy

Rescue the Weak and Needy

"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." They have neither knowledge nor understanding, they walk about in darkness; all the foundations of the earth are shaken. - Psalm 82:3-5 (ESV)

 It has been a week since I walked into a local middle school, and only the 3rd time I have been there. And yet, as I entered the halls I was walking and hear a cry of "Matthew!" I turn and find a 6th grade boy running towards me. I smile inside, that I was recognized and remembered from being spotted from a distance. This student walks along with me into the meeting area, and I find myself greeted by a few other students I had met, some only once others both days I was involved. I realize a sacrifice (but not really) of one extra hour on one extra day is worth it. To see students smile as I walk through, even though some are probably catching on that I am not the best tutor (what can I say, majoring in youth ministry means you tend to forget a lot of the "schooly" stuff) but its the conversations, the relationships which matter.

I had started a conversation with two guys last week about how they really don't need to greet each other by cussing each other out and talking about girls inappropriately. Now, this is a talk which is probably going to go towards, hey don't do that. I said, "Dudes, why do you have to do that?" last week. And yet, they asked when we would finish it? 5th graders, wanting to continue a conversation about why what they were doing wasn't cool or a good thing to do. And it breaks my heart, wondering how many times they just hear stop doing that and shut up, rather than talking through it. Someone who is willing to give them some attention, to help them be better in what they do. I understand teachers can only do so much, but I wonder what home life is like with mom and dad (or if mom or dad is even present.)

And I was reading the Psalms and was struck by Psalm 82, realizing that is my call to God this year. As I continue to build relationships, I see these kids just want to be loved, to know that someone is there for them. To rescue them, to be there to help in time of need, to deliver them. Because for many, they have no knowledge of a God who loves them, they don't understand why someone who isn't a teacher, isn't a parent would come and be there with them. But see, that is what shakes the earth. The earth was shaken by sin but sin was shaken by Christ, by the ultimate display of love he gave to a world unworthy of it. But because we are unworthy, it makes that love so much more beautiful, so much more pure.

I see these students, and my prayer is that they would not walk in darkness. And while my words may be limited, my actions are not. I am there to listen. They are already telling me secrets (that they have a girlfriend now) and it makes me smile. If it takes words for someone to see what I am about, then I'm not about it. A football player can't speak their skill, they embody it, it is seen through their actions. In the same way, I'm not a follower of Christ, I'm not in love with Him if only my lips speak it. My actions should make people say, hey, there's something different here.

This is my challenge: where are you at in life where you should be living daily as a light for Christ. If we aren't among the "darkness" how will it be made light? Don't just shine in the church. Don't separate loving God at church from the rest of your life. It shouldn't matter if you don't know what to say. Listen. Be there. Show it through your actions. Remember the one who died for you, who took nails in his hands, whose back was torn, flesh ripped out of, for you. That is sacrifice. And that is action speaking love. Surrender your pride, surrender your lust, surrender your time. We fill our lives with so much crap. And somehow we make a disconnect of God time and our time. We must stop that. Christ gave everything, all of Himself for us. Will we do the same? Let us stop making excuses. Let us stop just speaking it, let us do it. Every day. It's not easy, it never will be. But we must. There are those who don't understand, and unless we shine, unless we love them, how will they ever? So will I sacrifice my time for them? I will. Will you sacrifice your time for those who need it? For Christ? Only you can answer. But let us stop making excuses. We are to be the hands and feet of Christ, to be a presence, to love, to rescue the weak and the needy.

Lessons from David and Jonathon

The world around us has distorted the ideal male friendship, created it to be something which is "socially acceptable" but in all honesty, does nothing but tear down and create despair. We are told we must have this "macho" stereotype, and it is enforced through parents, teachers, leaders, etc. My son doesn't play sports! My son doesn't hunt! My son doesn't have a girlfriend!

And yet, let me take an example from the scripture to prove that we are missing a key part of the spectrum. Let me tell you, if anyone has seen the movie Troy or Gladiator, what seems more macho then a guy with swords cutting off the heads of the enemy. (Now, apologies to any pacifists, but I doubt that you would doubt Maximus' masculinity in Gladiator when he has continually conquered those of the arena.) Now let us look to the Old Testament, two men who were great warriors: David and Jonathon. David was one warrior. Take this example from 1 Samuel 30 -

And David struck them down from twilight until the evening of the next day, and not a man of them escaped, except four-hundred young men, who mounted camels and fled. David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken, and David rescued his two wives. Nothing was missing, whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken. David brought back all. (1 Samuel 30:17-19)

 Now, this is a man. A man who would avenge for his family, fighting from twilight till evening the next day. Thats a man. And yet, this same man, a man who is passionate for his family, a man who was just (read on in 1 Samuel 30 and see how he evenly divides and distributes what was regained both with those who fought and those who hadn't fought because they were too exhausted. Reminds me of a certain parable in Matthew 20 of the vineyard workers.)

And this man, David, had a companion closer than a brother and closer than a wife. (Now, let me stop and say check your mind. The world we live in assumes men in a close relationship must be sexual. I do not want this to be a debate about homosexual relationships, nor a debate as to whether David and Jonathon were in one. If you are that upset and must argue, let me take you out to coffee and we will talk. Just please don't argue on here.)

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathon was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathon loved him as his own soul. (1 Samuel 18:1)

 This verse hits me, and I believe it speaks to two things: Men need to have deep relationships with other men, where they can confide with what is going on. Not just a "lets go shoot things together" or "lets pump iron together." But a relationship where you can say "I love you." And not be ashamed to say it. This verse reminds me of another, the whole "Love your neighbor as yourself." David and Jonathon paint a picture of this, of a love which is different than the love of a man and a woman (which is often sexual, and yes is beautiful.) But this love, of two friends who have each others back, who can share what is going on, can support one another, this love is a beautiful love. That Jonathon loved David enough to be willing to give up his spot for the throne of Israel, because he cared for David and for God's will. That is love. That is beautiful. That Jonathon loved David as his own soul, that is beautiful. I look and see a desire for young men to have this sort of companionship. And yet, they are told its more important to have a girlfriend, to do manly things. Not to love another as you love yourself, unless she's a smokin' hot babe. There is something wrong with this.

"How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle! Jonathon lies slain on your high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathon; very pleasant have you been to me; your love was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women." (2 Samuel 1:25-26)

Jonathon was willing to set aside his seat on the throne, to risk his life to warn David. His soul was knit to David's, because he saw a friendship there closer than a brother, closer than a woman. The relationship wasn't based on one taking advantage of the other, but it was a true relationship of men, who loved and feared God, and thus cared for each other. I fear my words haven't done a well enough job to express this, but this picture it paints is beautiful. I pray that young men would not be afraid to have this deep relationship, to see the beauty in a friendship which is not shallow, which is not more concerned for self-gain or appearance, but realizing what depth is achieved through a relationship where you can be open, a relationship where when that friend dies, your soul is torn. Not because they can't update your facebook, but because you look and see, they were willing to sacrifice for you, that you know without a doubt, he loved me as much as he loved himself, and that is beautiful. He loved me with the love of Christ, and that is beautiful.

- Brummy

What We Need

Today began with worries of how I would make it in to work. I have been without a car of my own since Thursday. But God provides.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 4:19 (ESV)

Funny how true this has been. I was blessed to be able to use a car of a church members this weekend, and today I was picked up as I walked down Main Street in North Canton by another church member and dropped at the church. I was then able to find a ride later to a local middle school where I began tutoring. As I walked up, the students were all rushing to reach their buses and I grinned as my heart beat in my chest, a bit nervous. It was, after all, my "first day" at school. After being sent three different places I stumbled upon about 60 students sitting in the theater. I smiled as after being introduced a few kids introduced themselves, most just asking where I went to school, if I was in my teens (ooh yah I still look young even with a beard...er maybe because they know I can't grow one!) My heart instantly went out to all the students, and I knew just from being there a few minutes these next weeks through May would be amazing.

As I walked down through the school with the students, I engaged in light conversation by many, helped a few 5th grade girls know it was ok to stay with the line of students, even though we were walking through the boys locker room. Oh the fears of an adolescent. Once in the room, kids talked loudly as they found chairs and I realized it was myself and another school staff member trying to work and control these students. And I couldn't be happier, and yet more sad. As I looked I called out in my head, guessing what each student's story was. I could tell those who were from broken homes, those who had no friends, those who I knew desperately tried to fit in, those who wanted to be seen as "men" because it was important for them to be tough. I guess its my gift, I can usually tell what someone is going through, at least have a pretty good idea. And it was great as the students slowly opened up. Thats what's great about my job, and working with middle school students. They get around to liking you pretty quick.

And I sat and realized how blessed I am, and just why God has placed me here in North Canton. Its sad to see how many churches are in the area, and yet as I have begun to seek out relationships in the community, I wonder how many are involved outside their walls? (And I do not at all mean this to be a blog against those, I love the local church leaders here. I am blessed to be a part of a great church community.) But I stop and say, look at the need here. Look at these kids who just need someone to love them. Do we even understand the reason many of these students act out is because at home they have no attention? At home they are over-looked. When a teacher has to ask what a mothers last name is now, what does it say about the male figures in their lives? And I wonder and pray, will our generation fall into the same pattern.

And I stop and realize I am so amazingly blessed to be able to spend time with these students. I'm not looking to say anything to them. I want to listen, to know them. They don't need anyone else to tell them what to do. They have enough people telling them to do things, but no one listening to them, helping them sort through, and showing them what to do.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

- 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

I wonder where we forget passages like this? Our words have truth when there are actions behind them reflecting and speaking for them. If I'm truly about Christ, I will be there to listen to these students. I will put up with their little antics because, lets face it: they aren't adults yet. But sadly, they are forced to deal with adult situations. I wonder how many of these students have been told "I Love You." by any adult. And yet, I could probably count (with a calculator) how many times they have been told "Don't do that." It's easier to tell them not to do something, than for someone to actually care and listen. And, sometimes, just let them be kids.

I am excited for this year. I am excited for my students I see every Sunday. I am excited for these new students I will be in contact with every week. Because for me, I am not called to sit behind the walls of a church office. I am not called to be a light in a church office. (Well, its not the extent of it) I am called to be in the community. People don't want to hear us talk about God, don't want to just see us walk into a church. They want to see us be active among them, where they are at.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

- Matthew 9:36

I see many sheep who are without a shepherd. I am beginning to see God has placed me here to watch over these students. To be a light for Him here in this community, in these schools. To these families. So that even if they haven't heard someone say "I Love You" they would know, there is one greater than any on this earth who so desperately wants you to know "I LOVE YOU."

Called Out

I am fully expecting to receive at least one phone call this week. But I am 100% excited if I do, and 100% willing to take an earful from it.

 24Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. 28Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

We are talking about our "kingdoms" in life. Areas where we have put ourselves first. Bigger than this, we are talking about God's kingdom, that it is here and now. That when we place ourselves first, living by our rules in the different kingdoms, or areas, of our lives, it is not being a part of God's kingdom. When you choose what music to go on your iPod, what clothes to buy, who to date, all without reference to God and His will and desire, you are not living as a part of God's kingdom. A king is the one who rules, who is in charge.

This week I challenged about 15 or so middle school guys who sat around a circle to be real. I told them they aren't little boys anymore, they are young men. And that God is real, and He is daily a part of their life whether they try and make Him a part or not. I challenged them to identify areas where they needed to let God take control, to surrender to His kingdom. [We had examined the beatitudes as well, in Matthew 5. Check them out if you haven't. They're the Blessed are verses.]

 It was cool hearing the response as we talked about being real, about being men for God. Hearing some identify they had a big ego, some identify with sarcasm (I too confessed to being overly sarcastic) some to speaking without filtering what they are going to say. And it was cool, because they weren't middle schoolers at this moment. They weren't kids I was talking to. They were engaged, they were owning up, manning up, realizing where in life they needed to change. They didn't have to. But I was real. And then, I challenged them to call each other out. I challenged them to call me out. Because who am I to say that because of my age, my position, I have more of a right to call them out than they do me? And then I challenged them to, [takes deep breath] call their parents out if their is something in their life that isn't right. Phew, this could backfire.

But if my parents are the ones who I spend the most time with, the example they set is the one I will follow. If they claim Christ, and yet at home have a different facade, how do they expect me to be any different. Parents, I would appreciate a phone call if you are upset or want to talk. But I want to say it is humbling and it is radical when a middle school student calls you out. I have had it done. And it was also a beautiful picture of saying, God sees none as too young or too unimportant to be used. We may not like how God calls things out in our lives, and yet, I am encouraged. I see a generation who is open and realizing areas in their lives which need to be realigned with God.

I am not afraid to take a phone call this week. While perhaps the students may take my challenge in a wrong way, as a free to point the finger card, I know I have been personally called out by them on sarcasm. And while at first it made me upset I realized it was true. And I realized I had to own up to it, rather than shifting the blame. I don't want to be an Adam. I want to be a man desperate for Christ, to be conformed to Him.

 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God.

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were 

before you.

In Christ,

Brummy

Prayers and Trampolines

"I'm going to have a prayer room, and a trampoline room."

These were the words one of my 6th grade guys spoke in small group when he talked about the house he was going to design. I may laugh but then I realize these are probably two very important things for a house to have. Don't laugh. I'm serious. And it was a 6th grader (who often times, are way smarter than the credit we give them) got right.

I look at how God originally designed us and realized, yeah, thats spot on. Prayer room and trampoline room. See both of these hone in on things we need, and things God knows we need. I think prayer hits on the fact we were created to be in relationship with God. Thus we should have a room, a space, dedicated to God, and time spent with Him. (Not that this is the only place we spend time or dedicate to Him, but this is a place we can go away from distractions, where we can truly focus on Him)

Second, the trampoline room. Who doesn't enjoy having fun? This presents a place that we invite others to. Yes, we may find ourselves enjoying it, but I'm sure the 6th grade mind is thinking: If I had a trampoline room, I could have my friends over all the time. And we need things like this, places to go to be in relationship with one another, as human beings.

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' - Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

God saw our need for companionship, to be in relationship with Him and with others. (A lot of this is playing off my debrief thoughts from a series we just finished off) But I think it shows that whether or not they realized it, or middle schoolers are hitting at two important thoughts: We were created to be in a relationship with God, we need to elevate this and place it as central in our lives (The fact he realized to make a room for it in the way we make entertainment rooms, means he is a cut above the rest.) And we need times to just be in relationship with others, to have fun, to relax. (Thus, the trampoline room)

I learn a lot from my students, without them even realizing they are teaching me. I am truly blessed, and thank God that He teaches me through those He has placed me to shepherd. The Lord does work in mysterious ways, and I am thankful for that.

- Brummy