ReThink: Discipling Students vs Volunteering (Pt 2)

In my first post, I looked at Matthew 4 and how Jesus call to follow isn't dependent upon our qualifications but is often a "lack of" and doesn't make sense. Today I want to look at the aspect of success - as a volunteer, there is an expectation on me to do something and get a result. As a disciple the expectation is simple - love Jesus and follow Him.

Let me clarify a little - if I am teaching a class there is a lot of weight upon myself to be sure that those in the class walk out of there knowing something. To carry that weight in the church is unhealthy. Jesus taught with parables - which were not understood by most. This frustrated the disciples, who asked Jesus why he spoke in parables in Matthew 13.

Jesus response is one we may not like - it is the reality. There are those who will respond and understand and hunger for the truth and there are those who will continually hear and see and not understand or desire this truth. If we go back to the parable told directly before this - the parable of the soil, we understand our role better.

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. 2 And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3 And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, 6 but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8 Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears, let him hear.” - Matthew 13

We must grasp that our role is to sow - plain and simple. We are not responsible for the results. Do we do all we can to help that seed grow? Yes. Take a look at 1 Corinthians 3 where Paul adresses this:

What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.  - 1 Corinthians 3

We cannot carry the weight of a person responding to the truth of the Gospel. We can plant seeds, water seeds - but it is not our responsibility for the growth. 

A teacher feels the weight if their class doesn't get it. They must have done something wrong. But in discipling and investing in others - there will be some who are just bad soil. The truth will be present but not seen or heard by them, they will lack understanding. And what a weight is lifted from us when we realize our role isn't to save people - for we cannot save people. Our goal isn't to make people understand - we can't make people understand. We can present the truth, love on them, and trust God.

ReThink: Discipling Students vs Volunteering (Pt 1)

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22 (ESV)

Just wanted to share a few brief thoughts on rethinking our roles in student ministry for those who would be lay-leaders. What would it look like if we shifted from volunteering to discipling? Today I am going to just look at the personal aspects - what it means for us.

1. It means we are drawn out of comfort, what we have known, and where we like to be into something we are not comfortable with, we don't know, and may not like to be.

The first disciples Jesus called were fishermen - they knew how to catch fish. They weren't scholars, they weren't orators, and they probably weren't good people persons. But what did Jesus do? He said come follow me.

Get up an leave your comfort, leave what you are good at, leave your family, and come follow me.

When we volunteer it is usually for something we know a little bit about, enjoy doing, and a cause we deem worthy of our time.

Jesus says follow me - not because we are somehow skilled in a way, not because we have certain qualifications - but in spite of all that. 

If we truly love Jesus we will follow Him and the call to make disciples. But we must understand that it is a call to discomfort, weakness, and at times frustration. It won't fit our schedule - it will at times be inconvenient. But it will be so worthwhile. To follow our Savior, abandoning all that the world would say is rational and living a life whole-heartedly for Him - can you imagine? Those actions alone - being able to with your life mirror to a student one who is simply following - who isn't here because they think are good with words, because they think they have a really good understanding of God, who is simply the most unlikely candidate. And yet says - because I am following Jesus, because of what He has done in my life - I will invest in yours. That is radical. To say - its not dependent on some guy who went to bible college and has a degree - but in the mom or grandpa or college student who is in no way "qualified" yet in every way called by Jesus to disciple and love on these students.

What I Wish I'd Known Going Into Ministry...

I wish I'd known that its not just "senior pastors" who deal with everything...

I never dreamed that I'd do my first funeral a year into full-time ministry. I didn't know how to handle a phone call that one of my student's dad suddenly died, I didn't know what to say going into the home, I didn't know what to do when asked to perform the funeral. They don't teach you that (not really) in school. I was still just thinking about students and doing cool events and awesome worship nights. I wasn't prepared for the reality of life - and death - and grappling with pain and God and doubt and questions.

I wish I'd known the church often needs as much grace as anyone...

I realized that I went to church in middle and high school more for friends than for Jesus...but I often assumed it was just students and didn't realize there are a lot of people, adults included, who are at the church who want their cookie-cutter ideology - and tend to desire things to fit their schedule. I didn't realize the toll it takes trying to deal with fifty some students plus their parents - especially being a people pleaser. It's really hard to not worry about pleasing people - especially when those people are seeking to follow Jesus - but it seems like you walk two separate roads.

I wish I'd known ministry was lonely...

I think I sort of figured, but I didn't truly realize. Even in a staff I truly love - no one rejoices the same as I do, no one hurts for the same hurts as much as I do - and yes, Jesus never leaves nor forsakes, sometimes you still just feel and overwhelming aloneness - which must be surrendered to Christ every time.

I wish I'd known how much more I would struggle...

Going into ministry at many times hasn't made my walk easier - in fact its been way more difficult. Probably because I am "serving God full-time" whatever that means. And know that everyone knows I work for the church - theres no going back. Every part of me is being scrutinized - whether I want my life to be or not.

And despite these...despite moments I want to quit...there is none other than Christ who has compelled me to stay. Because in spite of this all - I know the joy that has been this season of life, and the joys and pains and struggles to come. 

"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10

Rethinking...Why Relationships (And Fun) Are So Key

Yesterday, I picked up a few 6th graders after school and we all went to Dairy Queen. Now - it is about 20 degrees outside, first day of spring - but that didn't stop us. And while we were there a few things hit me - I have been especially processing these past few weeks how we do middle school ministry at my church (The Chapel in North Canton) and whether it is the most effective way - or whether we need to change a few things to be most effective at discipling these students in our community. I realized two things yesterday.

1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key

One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.

2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun

Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!

I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan." 

I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.

- Brummy

Rethinking...The In-between (They Aren't Kids...)

This one will hurt. A little. But here is the reality - and its one I embrace but I fear many parents do not.

Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.

Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.

All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")

I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.

The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.

The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.

In Christ,

Brummy

5 Things God Has Taught Me About Ministry

God has a funny way of working - but this past year has been a clear reminder that God's ways are not my ways and God's thoughts are not my thoughts...and especially that God's timing is not my timing.

1. None of my classes remotely prepared me for anything I experienced in the real ministry world

Sorry Malone, but its just true - nothing I learned in class really prepared me for this. But, it did give me one good thing - relationships with some really solid men of God (a few of my professors) whom I could lean on during my difficult times. These men have been valuable resources, and was worth all the thousands of dollars I spent to sit in some classes which had some good memories (like when I delayed class because I wrote as many Pokemon on the board as I could possibly remember) but mainly left me with a solid support system when I came upon situations I hadn't dreamed of experiencing.

2. Ministry stinks...but is full of joy

I used to think ministry would make me happy - but I realize that is false. Ministry does not make me happy. In reality, it has many bitter, heart-wrenching moments. And yet, Christ has done a work on me this past year and filled me with more joy than I ever remember. And that is the key - because as tough as the moments are, as much happiness as is absent - I am being filled with the joy of Christ more and more every day I get to serve him full-time in ministry.

3. Sometimes you are forced to grow up...And sometimes God won't let you 

This one sort of speaks for yourself. I am 23...and my Bible is consistently opened to 1 Timothy, specifically 4:12. There were things which I learned come with the territory I never thought would...again I wasn't prepared. My first funeral, for an 8th grade student whose father suddenly died, leading two missions trips back to back after going 100% all summer, being thrown into a role much larger than any shoes I ever thought I would fill, figuring out that not everyone in the church loves Jesus and sometimes doesn't like change, even if you believe it will be best for leading students to Jesus - and that when you get down and want to quit with every part of your body - that God still works on your soul and tells you to press forward - reminds you that He is in control.

4. May Jesus come soon...because this is lonely

That glorious day when Christ returns is longed for even more...and yet I see so much work to be done. My commitment to this community has caused me to feel more and more alone, seemingly overwhelmed by the amount of students who so desperately need to know the love of Christ - and yet God has reminded me that He is in control. That moments I feel weak or as though it is too much - He is in control. I am but a vessel used by Him. And that though it is lonely, there are those around me to lean on for support.

5. Don't Worry

I've gone back and forth about worrying - and I realize now it doesn't matter. I used to not care - which was bad, and then I cared to much - which I realized was wrong. Because not caring meant I wasn't worrying about God and shepherding His flock, and caring too much meant I focused so much on that one little sheep that I missed sight of the rest. So now I serve God - and do my best to look upon the whole, knowing that some of these sheep will just be stubborn. I pull them back in here and there, but some just want to run. God is the Shepherd - and I trust He is in control.

Change Must Come...

And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."

It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.

It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?

Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?

There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.

Well, God isn't calling me to.

Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?

Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."

Praise

I praise God for this past year.

I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.

I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.

I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.

I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.

I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.

I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.

I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.

I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.

I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.

What Have We Done

What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.

I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?

We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?

I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal. 


But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.

- Brummy

A New Day

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14

Today is a new day. Stop and rest in that. You can't change what happened yesterday. You can't change the mistakes, the hurts, the failures of yesterday. But here is the truth: God's grace is new everyday. Do not be tied down to whatever you did yesterday (or whatever you didn't do.) We are free in Christ, though that freedom does not give us freedom to sin it offers us the freedom that when we do, His grace has washed over us. Don't define yourself by what you did yesterday, look to Christ today and know that it is a new day. A new day to press forward in Christ, as best you can. And when you fall, He will lift you back up. Rest in that, forget about yesterday, don't let it tie you down. Press on toward the goal. Forget what lies behind you. Strain towards what lies ahead.

"Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved." - Philippians 4:1 

Unescapable

Life is a journey. Each of us walks their own path. And often its easy to fall into the trap of looking at the person next to you, wishing in part you had their life. And yet, deep inside, when we are honest, we know the life God has called us to. Yes, to himself. But to some, the path is different than others.

Living a life for Christ can take a toll, nothing compared to what Christ suffered upon the cross for us. But I have yet to learn how to disconnect. And perhaps that is good. How do I disconnect from knowing the pains of students who sit at home this evening feeling unloved and unwanted? How do I laugh with friends knowing the student who has no friends to laugh with? How do I so easily forget the student who no longer has a father to speak to, to hug, to laugh, to cry with on this earth? All I can do is fall on my knees in surrender to my savior, asking why me? What do I have to offer? Nothing but Christ. But because of the life He has called me to lead, I cannot disconnect.

Many will not know what its like. I can't use words to describe. I can't explain why. And I can't change this life I am called to. I can't do it your way, I am only me as God has created me to be. And whole-heartedly in love I serve, because of what God has done for me. I cannot explain this unescapable love. And I cannot disconnect showing that love to these students, I can't turn off this burning passion within me, overflowing from my God and my King.

And so through it all I will persevere. Through the feelings of loneliness and pain, knowing that God is here, God is at work, God is present, whether I feel Him or not. Whether I sense Him or not.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

- Brummy

Who Are You?

"But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." - John 1:12-13

 If I were to ask you who you were, what would your answer be? I have been challenged today by this question. Because, when it comes down to it, I know a lot of answers I would like to give but these do not define me.

I am not my job. If I ceased to work for a church, would I then cease to exist?

I am not an American. If I wasn't in America, born here, would I cease to exist?

I am not defined by how tall I am, how much I weigh. If I suddenly grew heavier, lost a leg, etc. would I cease to exist?

I am not a college student. If college were gone, would I then not exist?

So how do we define ourselves? By our jobs, how much we have, the things we have done or haven't done? Because if those things are gone, do we then cease to exist? Rather, we can only define ourselves in one way: in Christ. I am reminded today that I am a child of God. This is not based on anything I have achieved, on something I have done, nor is it a momentary thing. It is something which cannot be taken away from me. I am a child of God. That is who I am. 

Who are you? Don't define yourself by worldly standards, because they can never define you. Define yourself by God, define yourself in Christ. As a beloved child of the King.

- Brummy

(PS I realize I posed about this before...but I think we all need continuous reminders not to define ourselves in anyone or anything but Christ)

Don't Lose Heart

¹⁶ So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV)

Recently its been difficult for me to see past current circumstances to understand what God is doing. Being honest, I have experienced a very few difficult months, and it is tough even now to consider it "light momentary afflication." Part of me wants to scream out "HOW IS ANY OF THIS LIGHT?" It feels like the weight of a thousand elephants upon my shoulders. But taking a deep breath, I step away from myself and realize, in honesty, its nothing. Nothing compared to what it could be and nothing compared to what I've made it.

But this passage is beautiful, reminding me that this perceived huge weight will be replaced with an even bigger weight - not of trial but of GLORY. How beautiful is this promise God gives us. It will be beyond all comparison. I cannot see it, all I can see are the difficulties in front of me. Difficulties screaming at me "You can't make it. You are a failure. You won't last." But this promise, this truth of God reminds me of what is to come - to those who hope in Him. Glory. Eternal. These trials will pass. The pain felt from death of loved ones, from the words spat like poison, from whatever situation arises - it will not compare to the glory which is to be revealed. The eternal glory, on that beautiful day when there will be no more crying nor pain, and Jesus will wipe every tear from our eyes. So I press forward, and encourage you to press forward. Hope in God. Do not lose heart! We may feel as though we are being wasted away, but God renews us each day - every day is a new day. Continue in Him. You are loved, you are valued, and this too shall pass.

- Brummy

What I've Learned About Middle School Discipleship

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22

I've been reflecting on my past year in ministry, and I've taken a few thoughts I've learned on discipleship. I started with this passage because I think it highlights where it all begins: with the pursuit by God, and God calling out.

#1 - The Call Out

I look at a few of the guys in my connect group and reflect on the effort and pursuit I made to call them out from just "attending" church on Sunday to being a part of community, to being a part of living life together. This is where it must begin: you must continue to pursue, to press after, to say "follow me." In saying this, you reflect Christ in saying, "Hey, you're worth spending time with. You have value, I want to get to know you, so that you can get to know Christ."

#2 - The Long Haul

You have to be in it for the long haul. Which means long hours, many of which will have students being, as many of the disciples were, at times frustrating and dumb. These guys who spent a ton of time with Jesus often seemed to be more clueless than the crowds. In the same way, I have had numerous frustrations with students who seemed to get it and still do the same things and ask the same questions. And yet, in the long haul, that time and effort pay off.

#3 - Be Prepared


Don't let frustrations break you down. Know that God is working, that even if it seems all a student does is fart and poop for a whole year, the fact that you called them out, into relationship, reflecting Christ calling each of us out, the fact that you invested in them more than just a Sunday or Wednesday, God is working. I probably am at the extreme of spending time with the guys I am closest with, my little disciples. And yet, I have seen God's faithfulness and His work in their lives. When I pressed on and didn't give up, I saw a restored relationship with 3 of them, I saw submission of struggles in their lives, things I never would have known without pursuit and being in it for the long haul.

#4 - Don't Let Discouragement Let You Quit


I often hit this mark, but each time I thought of giving up, thinking I couldn't do it anymore, I pressed forward just a little longer. And in that, God would give me a small moment of joy, which overcame the greatest sense of discouragement. If we are willing to invest, to call out, to be in it for the long haul, God will work through us. I know there are some of my guys whom I will never have a deep conversation with. But I know that God is at work in their lives, even if I don't know it. And thus I refuse to let discouragement or feeling like I have no impact get the best of me. Because I know that God is at work, through me and through others, for His glory.

So continue to call out, be in it for the long haul. Past just the time you must spend with your students, its an all the time thing, reflecting Christ in their lives through all you do, not just in the Sunday or Wednesday moments. Do it for God's glory. Press forward. Don't give up.

- Brummy

Feed My Lambs

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." (John 21:15 ESV)

What would our response be when Jesus asks us if we love him? Easily I agree we would say, "Of Course I do." But when the response is "Feed my lambs." How many will respond? I challenge you to think on this. And while you do, think upon this. Think upon these lambs:

Each week I am in contact with a few hundred students, whether from our youth group or in the local schools.

I know a lamb who opened up to me that they once thought of killing themself because of the pain of losing grandpa, dog, and know rethought because of hearing of a friend whose father died. This lamb is only 11.

I know lambs who struggle with eating disorders, fearing they are not beautiful enough to be loved.

I know lambs who are being beaten and abused within their homes, and fear with all they are that if they tell they will be separated from their parents, though they are the ones who do these things.

I know lambs who wonder if their family and friends accept them for who they are.

I know lambs who are shattered by the pains of divorce and death.

I know lambs who wrestle with the chains of addiction to drugs and porn.

They need fed. Not the lies that they must be perfect. Not the lies that because of what is going on, no one loves them, or they won't be welcomed in the church. They need the tender embrace of a shepherd, who in turn points them to the Great Shepherd, Jesus. I write this broken and crying out with all I am to God, that He would draw up those whom can speak and love these students, for who they are and where they are. Who don't see them because of what they do. Who won't judge them. God is judge, not us. They need a shepherd, who will constantly pursue, the same way God constantly pursues you.


And with all of me, I fight against the part of me which says: none will step up. None will feed the lambs. They are content sitting in the pews, they believe the lies that middle school isn't important, that it takes a certain type of person, that because they refuse to learn patience, they won't surrender themselves to letting God use them. I pray God takes these lies, and I pray that we take our walk seriously. Feed my lambs, Jesus said. I know hundreds of lambs in Stark County, wandering aimlessly, waiting for those to rise up and point them to the Great Shepherd. It won't be easy. But look at the cross: why should anything about what we do be easy or comfortable.

Do you know who you are?

And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying "Abba! Father!" - Galatians 4:6

Today what I want to say is this: Do you know who you are? If you claim Christ, do you realize who you are? You are a child of God! God, who created the universe, who knows every hair on your head, is your Father. And He is not just sitting up there pointing, He's not distant, unaccessible. We can cry to him: Abba! Daddy! Father! That is beautiful.

You may be scared. You may not know what it means to have a father. You may be hurting, fearful, bitter. You may not want God. But I'll tell you this, the God I know loves me, I follow Him not because I am controlled but because I realized nothing else filled me, because He created perfect and His word brings us back, restores us to whom He created us to be. And the fact is I still mess up. But God allows me to come to Him, crying "Daddy!" And that. That is beautiful.

- Brummy

Where do you turn in times of trouble?

"I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

Lets all admit it: life is a mess sometimes. We have trouble, and lots of it. There are a lot of us who are hurting right now. Things have been said, we seem to be stuck in cyclical habits, our families seem like they are falling apart. We are tore down on every side, so where do we turn to? For some of us, we feel hopeless and lost. But let me tell you: you only feel this way if you look to the world for a solution.

This past week has been a huge challenge for me, but I must constantly remind myself that the only place to turn to is Jesus. His words here in John 16 must be what I cling to: that he has overcome the world. Let me challenge you this: if you are angry, if you are hurting, if you are lost, nothing the world can offer will fix it.

You won't find healing in drugs.
You won't find healing in porn.
You won't find healing in sex.
You won't find healing in drinking your problems away.
You won't find healing in money.
You won't find healing in a job, a profession.
You won't find healing in a video game, music, or anything else.


Apart from Christ - things will not get better. Is it a guarantee that in Christ things will be better? No. But this I can tell you:

sex, smoking, drinking, porn, money, music, video games, none of these filled me. none of these fixed me. none of these healed me. none of these gave me purpose.


And in my lowest point, God met me, the arms of Christ embraced me, and His peace was set upon me. A peace which God continues to place over me, that even when I am stressed, I look to him. Knowing I can rest in the fact He has overcome the world.

Friends, family, whoever is reading: know this - God has overcome the world. He desires an intimate and personal relationship with you. Know that whether someone from in the church or outside has hurt you, whether you feel like because of what you have done, you cannot be loved - Christ came not to condemn the world but to save it. To buy you back, to call you His own. To give you a peace, not a happiness, not a carefreeness, but knowing that in times of trouble, you and I can rest in Him.

I love you all dearly, and whatever you feel, think, don't think about God - it will never change this: He loves you, He died for you, and He desires to call you His own. You can run, but His love is unrelenting. Take heart - He has overcome the world.

- Brummy

A Note To Parents: Do Not Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

I get small glimpses of what it must be like to be a parent of a middle schooler. What a strange age, where there is a part that is still such a child and another part tugging away, resisting mom and dad's authority and often times seeing with blinders on their eyes. But with this, I also see a side of the students which mom and dad often don't see. Both good and bad, but moreso good.

I want to write this to encourage parents: do not fear. I can't imagine how many times my parents must have been worried that their little boy was suddenly becoming this rebellious, out of control, adolescent. (And at times I was.) And yet, there is another side I see revealed. I have witnessed students who go from being uber disrespectful towards mom and dad to standing beside me, inviting themselves to our new third worship time and singing. Now, this surprises me: most middle school guys don't sing, or if they do its in a funny voice to get attention. And here I stood - next to a seventh grade student who really has a great voice, listening to his singing in worship to His God and Savior. And I knew - why do I fear? My job isn't to worry about every little choice a student makes. Because in the end I can't control it. My job is to love. To speak the truth, to point them to Christ, to give insight on choices they do make. But not to fear, because in fearing I have begun to stop trusting in God. That he is in control, that he has a plan for this student's life.

I hope you would know that the perfect love of Christ gives us no reason to fear. That because our Holy God sent Christ, His son, to be our perfect atoning sacrifice - there is no reason to fear. While we ourselves, while a student, may get off track for a time, God never lets go of them. God who interceded, sent His son to be "Immanuel" - God with us - is certainly present today, working in us and through us. I want you to be encouraged that whatever is going on, things that frighten, either from your child, from the world, that there is no reason to fear. God has called us out, to something greater than us.

And so my role is one of love, that even in the times the students turn to disrespect me, when I feel I have had enough, I think of that perfect love. I think of Christ on the cross. The One who knew know sin took it upon himself, and in those moments I push through, by God's grace, turning to the students in love. Parents - you are doing something right, be encouraged, know that middle school is a crazy time, but let us together set aside fear and love - because we first have been loved.

- Brummy

Who Will This Year Be About?

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

In my preparation for our spring series on the book of Galatians, this verse has been hitting hard with me. Six days into the new year, I have also been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting on the past year and wondering about what is to come. And with it comes this question: who will this year be about? Will it be about Matt Brumfield? Will it be about my accomplishments? Of course, if it is, there will be a reason behind doing those things. Already I have the tendency to stop and ask, will doing this upset this person? How will this help or hinder my relationship with this person?

I have to stop and take a step back. I have to realize this year cannot be about me. It cannot be about trying to make every family in the church happy with our ministry. It cannot be about connecting with everyone I want to in the community. When it comes down to it, it must be about seeking to follow God. That in each and every thing I do, it is done for Him, because I know it will please Him.

Jesus didn't make people happy. In fact he made a lot of people unhappy. So why should I expect that in following Him everyone will be happy with me? There are some already who really want nothing to do with what I have to say, what I believe in. We have ties, some of them family ties, others deep friendships, but when it comes down to my God and Savior, they want nothing. I can't make them happy. There are some who have a mindset of a certain way to "do church," of a certain opinion of what things to talk about or not to talk about. I can tell you honestly, I won't please them. I am not one who holds to a "there are things not to talk about." While I may not bring them up, if a student is going through something, or is faced with a situation, I don't hold a "don't talk about it just read your Bible" stance. I take a let's talk about it and then examine God's word and see what he has to say.

Post-rant about why I will not make people happy - This year I pray that my focus is kept on Christ. That I will not do things to gain the approval of men. This got me nowhere, and it will honestly get you nowhere. If you live for man, you die to man, empty, void, incomplete. But if you live for Christ, die for Christ, you gain everlasting life with our Heavenly Father. Who knows what this year will bring. Let us bring to it hearts longing and seeking to serve God.

In Christ,

Brummy

Holy...Have we lost sight

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" - Isaiah 6:3

 My heart has been uneasy lately. I am not sure why, perhaps it is getting to the midway point of my first true year in middle school ministry, so I am processing things I have done, what could be done better, what must change, mistakes I have made, mistakes I am making. Amidst all this I am trying my best to stay focused on God. Trying to stay focused on God for who He is, amidst how I see God responded to in light of what I will call the "modern American church."

I have realized that our culture has shifted greatly from the culture of the Israelites and the New Testament early church. And I realize in this transition we may have lost something. We are preparing this week to begin a series on Christmas, although it does not have the traditional "nativity story" start. It begins back with Moses, with Yahweh, at the command to build the tabernacle. Some reading this have no idea what the tabernacle was. Read Exodus, there are like 11 chapters there about it. Essentially, it was the place where God dwelled among the Israelites, a place set apart just for God. It was the Holy place. The word holy is the Hebrew Qadesh meaning: to be set apart for a special purpose. To the Israelites, the understood God in light of his holiness. He was feared, because he was holy. He was perfect in his goodness, in his attributes, and he was feared because they realized how far from him they were. The place God dwelled could only be entered once a year by the high priest, and even then was the fear of the priest being struck down by God, because God is holy. And we are not.

In the light of todays present society, we lose sight of what it means for God to be holy. Too often we take for granted what it really means for God, in his holiness, to send his Son to die for us. For God to dwell, to tabernacle in us through the Holy Spirit. Do we take time to realize a holy God paid the price to buy us back, amidst all the times we have turned from him?

Israel based their lives around God. True, they were not perfect. But the tabernacle was with them, they were led through the wilderness. Did they have their times of doubt? Absolutely. Their times of failure and distrust? Absolutely.

Today, however, I get the sense we based God around our lives. We take for granted His holiness, focusing on the fact we have his grace. If I can read this morning, I will. If I can make it to church, I will. Oh, I'm just too tired. If the High Priest was too tired to make the sacrifices, it could mean his end, the people's end when he entered the Holy of Holies. Today, we are so focused on self. We have created a culture dependent upon us. Until something goes wrong, and then still we become upset with God for not making things work our way. The Israelites had this too, anger at God for leading them into the wilderness to starve, anger at God for leading them to the promised land which was filled with giants. For us, we like making it on our own without God, and we grow frustrated when we don't see Him do things our way.

I am in no way an advocate for saying one must attend church every Sunday because that is a true Christian. But if we honestly search our hearts, when God searches our hearts, what is our life built upon? Is it revolving around a holy God, who in His perfect goodness reached down to us, came down to us, paid the price for our sins, was the ultimate High Priest, so we may be in relationship with Him again? Or is it based upon the fact God is simply God, a good choice, someone we sometimes follow, when it is convenient to us. Because life is busy. Yeah, God, life is busy, you know this. I mean, I have to work to support my family. My kids need to play sports because this may be the only time they can, they're only kids once. And we really need to do this, and that, and this. Yeah, we'll read our bible here for an hour each night. But when we create God to be a time-slot in our lives, we lose sight of his holiness, who he is.

Let our lives be focused on Him, and all we do come from His love, His goodness. When I work, I work because of the work he has done in me. When I am with friends, I am a light to them. When I am with family, I love them as He has loved me. When I play sports, I play for the Lord, giving Him glory and thanks. God is not a "time-slot" in our day, in our lives. He must be center stage, for He is perfect in goodness, He is holy.

disclaimer: these are just some random thoughts stirring in my head, spit out here. I don't pretend to be an expert, to have it all right.

- Brummy