Rethinking...The In-between (They Aren't Kids...)

This one will hurt. A little. But here is the reality - and its one I embrace but I fear many parents do not.

Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.

Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.

All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")

I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.

The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.

The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.

In Christ,

Brummy

An Honest Question for Parents

Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:

"Do you love Jesus?"

Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.

Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration. 

I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did. 

But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.

My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.

I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?

Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?

I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa? 

Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?

Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child. 

I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.

Do you love Jesus?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

What Have We Done

What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.

I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?

We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?

I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal. 


But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.

- Brummy

The New Reality of Middle School

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)

I think some of us have lost grip on just what it means to be in middle school. Some of those reading this may have a child in middle school, but I am not sure all of us are awake and aware to the reality of what it means to be in middle school. In my personal opinion, this is possibly the most important time in a person's life. It is a time of transition, one in which they are beginning to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives, while still being in a phase of being shapeable and being impacted by others. One thing is certain: a middle schooler is no longer a child. 

To be honest with you, these are some of the things our students are going through right now, either because they wrote them on prayer cards, because they have told me, or because I have witnessed them from being "on their turf" in the schools on a monthly/weekly basis.

• Wondering if friends & family accept them
• Major anxiety
• Bullies
• Dealing with family's divorce
• Father not being at home and causing stress
• Loss of Father
• Loss of grandparents
• Hurting for sister who "feels insignificant and un-loved"
• Sexual and vulgar thoughts, feeling hopeless to keep mind clean from them
• Friends at school leaving them out and talking about student behind back
• Cutting
• Suicidal thoughts
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Anger
• Drugs

Too often I see middle schoolers being stereotyped into "annoying, frustrating" who can't have spiritual conversations. They get tossed into this category, and sadly, it sickens me. Many would rather invest in high school students who can "hold a mature conversation, about deep spiritual things." This truly breaks my heart. Because honestly, if there are not those willing to step in now, there are many for whom it will be too late by high school. (Not that God doesn't work, but in my life experience, by freshman year, I witnessed my friends already set on paths which they have followed for the most part to this day. The most critical time was middle school.) Middle school was when my struggles began, and had truly set in by freshman year.

The new reality is this - middle schoolers deal with even more than I ever imagined dealing with, that I am certain you ever imagined dealing with. Do not overlook these students, deeply loved by God. Don't see them just as annoying, as immature. We cannot imagine what most of them go through. And each and every one is desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

What I've Learned About Middle School Discipleship

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22

I've been reflecting on my past year in ministry, and I've taken a few thoughts I've learned on discipleship. I started with this passage because I think it highlights where it all begins: with the pursuit by God, and God calling out.

#1 - The Call Out

I look at a few of the guys in my connect group and reflect on the effort and pursuit I made to call them out from just "attending" church on Sunday to being a part of community, to being a part of living life together. This is where it must begin: you must continue to pursue, to press after, to say "follow me." In saying this, you reflect Christ in saying, "Hey, you're worth spending time with. You have value, I want to get to know you, so that you can get to know Christ."

#2 - The Long Haul

You have to be in it for the long haul. Which means long hours, many of which will have students being, as many of the disciples were, at times frustrating and dumb. These guys who spent a ton of time with Jesus often seemed to be more clueless than the crowds. In the same way, I have had numerous frustrations with students who seemed to get it and still do the same things and ask the same questions. And yet, in the long haul, that time and effort pay off.

#3 - Be Prepared


Don't let frustrations break you down. Know that God is working, that even if it seems all a student does is fart and poop for a whole year, the fact that you called them out, into relationship, reflecting Christ calling each of us out, the fact that you invested in them more than just a Sunday or Wednesday, God is working. I probably am at the extreme of spending time with the guys I am closest with, my little disciples. And yet, I have seen God's faithfulness and His work in their lives. When I pressed on and didn't give up, I saw a restored relationship with 3 of them, I saw submission of struggles in their lives, things I never would have known without pursuit and being in it for the long haul.

#4 - Don't Let Discouragement Let You Quit


I often hit this mark, but each time I thought of giving up, thinking I couldn't do it anymore, I pressed forward just a little longer. And in that, God would give me a small moment of joy, which overcame the greatest sense of discouragement. If we are willing to invest, to call out, to be in it for the long haul, God will work through us. I know there are some of my guys whom I will never have a deep conversation with. But I know that God is at work in their lives, even if I don't know it. And thus I refuse to let discouragement or feeling like I have no impact get the best of me. Because I know that God is at work, through me and through others, for His glory.

So continue to call out, be in it for the long haul. Past just the time you must spend with your students, its an all the time thing, reflecting Christ in their lives through all you do, not just in the Sunday or Wednesday moments. Do it for God's glory. Press forward. Don't give up.

- Brummy

Where do you turn in times of trouble?

"I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

Lets all admit it: life is a mess sometimes. We have trouble, and lots of it. There are a lot of us who are hurting right now. Things have been said, we seem to be stuck in cyclical habits, our families seem like they are falling apart. We are tore down on every side, so where do we turn to? For some of us, we feel hopeless and lost. But let me tell you: you only feel this way if you look to the world for a solution.

This past week has been a huge challenge for me, but I must constantly remind myself that the only place to turn to is Jesus. His words here in John 16 must be what I cling to: that he has overcome the world. Let me challenge you this: if you are angry, if you are hurting, if you are lost, nothing the world can offer will fix it.

You won't find healing in drugs.
You won't find healing in porn.
You won't find healing in sex.
You won't find healing in drinking your problems away.
You won't find healing in money.
You won't find healing in a job, a profession.
You won't find healing in a video game, music, or anything else.


Apart from Christ - things will not get better. Is it a guarantee that in Christ things will be better? No. But this I can tell you:

sex, smoking, drinking, porn, money, music, video games, none of these filled me. none of these fixed me. none of these healed me. none of these gave me purpose.


And in my lowest point, God met me, the arms of Christ embraced me, and His peace was set upon me. A peace which God continues to place over me, that even when I am stressed, I look to him. Knowing I can rest in the fact He has overcome the world.

Friends, family, whoever is reading: know this - God has overcome the world. He desires an intimate and personal relationship with you. Know that whether someone from in the church or outside has hurt you, whether you feel like because of what you have done, you cannot be loved - Christ came not to condemn the world but to save it. To buy you back, to call you His own. To give you a peace, not a happiness, not a carefreeness, but knowing that in times of trouble, you and I can rest in Him.

I love you all dearly, and whatever you feel, think, don't think about God - it will never change this: He loves you, He died for you, and He desires to call you His own. You can run, but His love is unrelenting. Take heart - He has overcome the world.

- Brummy

The Harvest is Plentiful, the Laborers Few

Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." - Matthew 9:37-38 (ESV)

Let me make something clear: I don't do my job because its fun. Secondly, I don't really consider it a job. I hope you don't see it only as some 20 something who doesn't want to grow up so he plays with nerf guns, plays video games, listens to rap music, etc. I am here because of Christ, and its not easy. Each week there are times I question myself, I am discouraged. And each week I am forced to cling to Christ.

I come in contact with numerous middle school and high school students throughout the week. I don't count just those who walk through the walls on Sunday (church is not defined, in my mind as once a week, or within the walls of a building.) If I have a conversation over a lunch table, that is "church." If I talk with a student at tutoring, someone who may never walk into our building, that is church. And I look and see so many students within this area of Stark County who are broken, who are hurting, who are waiting for someone to show them the love of Christ.

You're scared to? You don't think you can relate to students? Its not about relating. This weekend I sat down with a student from an inner city ministry who was at the same retreat as us. I didn't know him. He was 15 and in the 8th grade, from foster care, and a bit awkward to talk to. It was awkward to get him to respond. But see, he needed to see the love of Christ. Was it comfortable to sit down next to him? NO! But when were we ever called to be comfortable?

If you want comfort, sit your fat butt in a lazy-boy all day. But that's not being a christian. Sitting in the pew each Sunday, yeah its great. I love gathering and worshipping with you all. Its important. But more important is this: we cannot lose sight of the world around us. We aren't called to separate ourselves, in fact we are called to go INTO THE WORLD!


I see a lot of kids who only know brokenness, who only know hurt, pain, feeling alone. Who don't know the love of Christ. Correction: they don't see the love of Christ. It must be more than words, it must be more than handing them a Bible, more than handing them a tract (these things may go hand in hand, and not going to say God can't use them) but in reality they need to see a display of this love we speak of, which has redeemed us.

I challenge you, where are you displaying the love of Christ which you claim? At work? At home? At school? There are hundreds of middle school students who need to be shown the love of Christ. How many are willing to step up and take that challenge. To stop being comfortable, and start being real. Christ wasn't comfortable on the cross. Why do we think we should be comfortable as Christians, when there is a multitude of those in desperate need of the love of Christ.

Will you come alongside and show that love, share it through your actions, through all you do. It's not easy, but its not about what's easy. I am not here because its easy, because I like it. My passion is only because of what Christ has done in me. And I look and pray for those who will step up, who will get thats its not about liking it, about being perfectly relatable to middle school students. But who see a generation desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

A Note To Parents: Do Not Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

I get small glimpses of what it must be like to be a parent of a middle schooler. What a strange age, where there is a part that is still such a child and another part tugging away, resisting mom and dad's authority and often times seeing with blinders on their eyes. But with this, I also see a side of the students which mom and dad often don't see. Both good and bad, but moreso good.

I want to write this to encourage parents: do not fear. I can't imagine how many times my parents must have been worried that their little boy was suddenly becoming this rebellious, out of control, adolescent. (And at times I was.) And yet, there is another side I see revealed. I have witnessed students who go from being uber disrespectful towards mom and dad to standing beside me, inviting themselves to our new third worship time and singing. Now, this surprises me: most middle school guys don't sing, or if they do its in a funny voice to get attention. And here I stood - next to a seventh grade student who really has a great voice, listening to his singing in worship to His God and Savior. And I knew - why do I fear? My job isn't to worry about every little choice a student makes. Because in the end I can't control it. My job is to love. To speak the truth, to point them to Christ, to give insight on choices they do make. But not to fear, because in fearing I have begun to stop trusting in God. That he is in control, that he has a plan for this student's life.

I hope you would know that the perfect love of Christ gives us no reason to fear. That because our Holy God sent Christ, His son, to be our perfect atoning sacrifice - there is no reason to fear. While we ourselves, while a student, may get off track for a time, God never lets go of them. God who interceded, sent His son to be "Immanuel" - God with us - is certainly present today, working in us and through us. I want you to be encouraged that whatever is going on, things that frighten, either from your child, from the world, that there is no reason to fear. God has called us out, to something greater than us.

And so my role is one of love, that even in the times the students turn to disrespect me, when I feel I have had enough, I think of that perfect love. I think of Christ on the cross. The One who knew know sin took it upon himself, and in those moments I push through, by God's grace, turning to the students in love. Parents - you are doing something right, be encouraged, know that middle school is a crazy time, but let us together set aside fear and love - because we first have been loved.

- Brummy

Heroes

My life is not ordinary. No, not because I sometimes mask myself in bright orange skihats and call myself "The Viking" cleverly screaming about how I am going to defend North Canton of all evil (especially rival villains from Jackson and Lake.) Yes, most of my interactions are with those in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, but my days are not spent inside a school building.

And this particular Wednesday evening was filled with masked, caped, hooded, tight-wearing superheros. Of the middle school variety. A few dozen middle school students stepping up to the challenge of coming up with their best copy-cat or unique superhero character. And I was reminded why I love my life.

Most weeks go like this (minus the superhero-ness.) I am blessed to speak into the lives of numerous middle school students. I serve as the Director of Middle School at The Chapel in North Canton. Regardless of where you stand on religion, I am blessed to be able to come alongside parents in the stark county area and assist them in bringing up their children. Yes, I have a passion for Jesus, and because of that a passion to love these families and students.

Our superhero night was a time to be goofy, and it was. We threw marshmallows into plungers (an awesome game I thought up a few minutes before the event started. It could have totally failed, but was actually a hit.) We enjoyed random dance parties to this new trending "Interlude" dance (a hit coming from colleges which has now been tradition as part of our middle school gatherings each Sunday and mid-week.) And I was also blessed to just take time to be with these students.

Towards the end we talked about heroes. We all have them. I was humbled to hear some of them share the names of various leaders in our community they look up to, and was humbled to hear some say my name. And I realized what responsibility that is. In the midst of this goofy time of wearing tights (which I too wore, underneath my athletic shorts) dancing to crazy techno songs, and eating ice cream covered in way too many toppings, I have the unique opportunity to be a part of these students lives at this critical time.

Too often middle schoolers are overlooked as kids, which a part of them still are, but many are faced with huge villains in their lives. Villains such as the death of their pet, bullies at school, their parents divorce, trying to live up to the social images the world portrays (which leads to eating disorders, bodily self-harm, depression, etc.) And I realize that they need more heroes in their lives. They need other adults who will truly understand them for where they are, that they are facing very really, very big, and very scary villains. And I personally believe they need to meet the greatest hero of all time, who made the ultimate sacrifice for us all, out of love. Jesus. Who loves them amidst their villains, their struggles, and their goofy, cape wearing, voice cracking, awkward dancing, middle school natures.

So each week I enjoy times of goofyness. Times of epic nerf wars, and pottery painting sessions. And am reminded of how much these students are facing, and how deeply they need to know they are loved for who they are and where they are at right now.

Thank You - A Blog to Parents

For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Parents, I just wanted to write this post today to thank you. To thank you for allowing me to come alongside you. While much of my job is to build into youth, I am so grateful that you trust me and allow me to come alongside you. I want to write to encourage you all today to continue in what you are doing. Because you are doing something right. It is an honor and a privilege to come alongside you, to be able to assist in any way possible. I cannot possibly imagine what it is to be a father, to have a child of my own. And yet I am blessed to have a small role in watching your interactions, to learn from you, to be encouraged by you. I don't write to tell you what you are doing wrong, there may be other posts (and I know I will need posts reminding me what I am doing wrong.) But I wanted to write to encourage, to remind you that I am not here to replace you.


I hear the phrase, do your job so that you won't have one. While I would miss my role, I would love it if there honestly was no need for me, if students desired to spend their time with their parents, with their families. And they do. They cherish the moments they spend with you as a Father, with you as a Mother, more than the time they spend with me. That I can fade into the background so they can take that time with their family is a joy. That I can be an extra voice repeating the same advice you give is a joy, that in the end it is your guidance they follow, while perhaps not from your mouth. If that is how I assist, than thank you. It truly is a joy to be able to serve you. I have grown to love your children, and to love you as parents. I encourage you to continue to look to Christ, that we continue to look to Christ, in all we do.


Thank you again for the great privilege of allowing me to be a second voice in your child's life. I pray that you would let me know any way I can be of assistance to you now or in the future.


In Christ,


- Brummy

A Lesson from Middle School Jesus - For Parents

   I was reading this story in Luke of Jesus when he was a boy (twelve years old) so middle school Jesus. What a great age. And what a great story. Its in Luke 2:41-52, and Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem at the temple, his parents assuming he was with them in the caravan (I believe, but check for yourself, it was common for them to travel together and thus almost communally care for each others children, which is why they could go a whole day's journey without noticing middle school Jesus wasn't with them.)

  I find a few things interesting, first is when they find Jesus he is with the teachers, so of course we see he was in a good place. But second, and this speaks a lot to the middle school age, Jesus was listening to them and asking them questions. One of these I'm not sure middle schoolers today do so well, the second I know they do. But, I believe they desire both. However, too often we seem to want them to listen without leaving room for questions. (After all, who wants to be questioned?)

And yet, this speaks so clearly to what the middle school student needs. They need those to speak into their lives truth, but they also need someone then to listen to their questions. I wonder if we leave room for this? Do you leave room for your son or daughter to ask you questions? We have a rule in our small group, in fact in the entire middle school youth group. There are no dumb questions. We forget that developmentally, our minds can comprehend things and often think in different ways. However, these "silly" or "stupid" questions a middle schooler asks to them are important in their development and understanding who they are.

  I think too often we tend to fear questions, because we fear it means they won't believe what we want them to. And yet, I encourage students to question. We had a time last night where I asked them what challenges they have in either believing in God or following God. And then I stopped to listen, to let them ask questions, and then respond. Some shared that they get God created everything, but how could got not have been created. That is why it was difficult for them to believe and follow. Now perhaps a response would be "You just have to! You don't ask that!" But I stopped, I shared honestly that the question is a challenge. Its difficult to wrap our heads around. (Honestly, can you fully explain and comprehend how God always was, is, and will be? If so, please give me a call.)

  I look and see a desire for students to be heard, to be able to ask questions, and they will respond to those who allow them to by listening. My students listen to my response when I allow them to question, to seek. As parents, I encourage you to have this discussion. But let it be discussion, let your kids do most of the talking. Let them ask the question. And don't be afraid to answer with "I don't know, but let's find out together." That will mean more, and your child will appreciate it. Personally, I know I wanted to be allowed to ask questions to my parents, to discuss them. But I feared their response would be to try and throw a ton of stuff at me or tell me "you just have to believe it, okay!" I wanted an open conversation, where they would listen to my questions, and in turn I could listen to their response, whether with an answer or an "I don't know."

Do you take time for your middle schooler to ask questions? Do you listen to them? They have questions, they have things they are seeking to understand. And we must listen to them, must seek to be honest and real. Its a part of life, and if we just close up or tell them not to ask it, they will ask somewhere else.

  Jesus sought the teachers of the temple, seeking those who would listen and allow him to ask questions. Does your middle schooler know they can ask you questions and you will honestly listen? I am not a parent, but I am challenged by this. Because I do want students to get it, to understand. But I realize I must allow them to ask me these questions, because it is what is on their hearts and minds, and things they are seeking. Better they hear from us than from the world, wouldn't you agree?

  - Brummy

What We Need

Today began with worries of how I would make it in to work. I have been without a car of my own since Thursday. But God provides.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 4:19 (ESV)

Funny how true this has been. I was blessed to be able to use a car of a church members this weekend, and today I was picked up as I walked down Main Street in North Canton by another church member and dropped at the church. I was then able to find a ride later to a local middle school where I began tutoring. As I walked up, the students were all rushing to reach their buses and I grinned as my heart beat in my chest, a bit nervous. It was, after all, my "first day" at school. After being sent three different places I stumbled upon about 60 students sitting in the theater. I smiled as after being introduced a few kids introduced themselves, most just asking where I went to school, if I was in my teens (ooh yah I still look young even with a beard...er maybe because they know I can't grow one!) My heart instantly went out to all the students, and I knew just from being there a few minutes these next weeks through May would be amazing.

As I walked down through the school with the students, I engaged in light conversation by many, helped a few 5th grade girls know it was ok to stay with the line of students, even though we were walking through the boys locker room. Oh the fears of an adolescent. Once in the room, kids talked loudly as they found chairs and I realized it was myself and another school staff member trying to work and control these students. And I couldn't be happier, and yet more sad. As I looked I called out in my head, guessing what each student's story was. I could tell those who were from broken homes, those who had no friends, those who I knew desperately tried to fit in, those who wanted to be seen as "men" because it was important for them to be tough. I guess its my gift, I can usually tell what someone is going through, at least have a pretty good idea. And it was great as the students slowly opened up. Thats what's great about my job, and working with middle school students. They get around to liking you pretty quick.

And I sat and realized how blessed I am, and just why God has placed me here in North Canton. Its sad to see how many churches are in the area, and yet as I have begun to seek out relationships in the community, I wonder how many are involved outside their walls? (And I do not at all mean this to be a blog against those, I love the local church leaders here. I am blessed to be a part of a great church community.) But I stop and say, look at the need here. Look at these kids who just need someone to love them. Do we even understand the reason many of these students act out is because at home they have no attention? At home they are over-looked. When a teacher has to ask what a mothers last name is now, what does it say about the male figures in their lives? And I wonder and pray, will our generation fall into the same pattern.

And I stop and realize I am so amazingly blessed to be able to spend time with these students. I'm not looking to say anything to them. I want to listen, to know them. They don't need anyone else to tell them what to do. They have enough people telling them to do things, but no one listening to them, helping them sort through, and showing them what to do.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

- 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

I wonder where we forget passages like this? Our words have truth when there are actions behind them reflecting and speaking for them. If I'm truly about Christ, I will be there to listen to these students. I will put up with their little antics because, lets face it: they aren't adults yet. But sadly, they are forced to deal with adult situations. I wonder how many of these students have been told "I Love You." by any adult. And yet, I could probably count (with a calculator) how many times they have been told "Don't do that." It's easier to tell them not to do something, than for someone to actually care and listen. And, sometimes, just let them be kids.

I am excited for this year. I am excited for my students I see every Sunday. I am excited for these new students I will be in contact with every week. Because for me, I am not called to sit behind the walls of a church office. I am not called to be a light in a church office. (Well, its not the extent of it) I am called to be in the community. People don't want to hear us talk about God, don't want to just see us walk into a church. They want to see us be active among them, where they are at.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

- Matthew 9:36

I see many sheep who are without a shepherd. I am beginning to see God has placed me here to watch over these students. To be a light for Him here in this community, in these schools. To these families. So that even if they haven't heard someone say "I Love You" they would know, there is one greater than any on this earth who so desperately wants you to know "I LOVE YOU."

A Post for Parents

Let me start by saying I have no idea what it must be like to be a parent. But I know what it is like to be a child, to be man, to be a sinner, in desperate need of the grace of God. I know how much I tend to project my desires of what other people should be onto others. I may be doing that in this post. But I write in hope that this is only my heart, which is being wrenched from within me, crying out as I survey the community of North Canton and surrounding area in which God has placed me. He has placed me in this role, he has placed me here to guide. He must be the one guiding because without Him I am completely blind. Yet I look and see, see how often our personal tendencies project through. Parents, this is heartfelt from one who has experienced this personally as a child. And yet, this is also a message of hope, for a God who has restored the broken and frayed relationship I had.

Is your child loved because they are your child? Or are their certain things you really require of them for you to love them? Do they have to play sports? Perhaps it runs in your family, perhaps you were captain of the swim team, perhaps you are a marathon runner. Have you let these things define you in that it must also define your son or daughter? True, we all desire good things for those we love, but the best is Christ. And what if we must surrender these things to make room for Christ? Will we ourselves do it? Will we allow our children to do this? To make the choice to surrender these things?

Well, that's not how it works. They need this to get into this college...They need to be involved in these social clubs to get a good career. If these are the responses we make, that I make, I need to step back and ask whom I follow. Who my life is about. We must also stop and think about how our words impact those we love. While I trust you will still love your child without them doing these things, I hear stories of students who fear that if they do not do this, their parents will no longer have a reason to love them.

I sat on the bench of a court, watching my buddies play basketball for numerous years. I was on the team and not very good. And to me, I thought I had to be, had to at least play. Because it was then my dad loved me. Some sit and wish their parents were at a game, while perhaps you are busy at work, wanting to buy your family all the things your dad couldn't afford. Yes, things are nice. But honestly, when I get to this point in life, it is time I look back and wish I had more of. Was I happy for that gameboy where I logged hours playing Pokemon? Sort of. Do I wish I just had more time to go hang out with my father, back when I was still a child. Yes isn't a strong enough word. Do I wish I knew and could tell myself how much my father did love me. That his words were misunderstood by me, that I didn't have to be the best at sports.

Parents, my desire is you would spend time with your child. That you would love them for more than the sport they play, the grades they get. As Christ has loved us. I know I have no idea of what it means to be a father, but my heart breaks at the thought of making the mistake of trying to define who my child is outside of anything but Christ. The day I try and make my child live out what I wish I was, or what I think would be the best other than what Christ has made them to be, is the day I have failed. And I will fail. But I challenge myself, I challenge you, if you are truly in Christ, to love as Christ loves. To let your son or daughter know they are so much more than their grades, their athletics, what school they attend or what college they get in to, or what career they have chosen. For these things are worthless in the grand scheme.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust[e] destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him." - 1 John 3:1

In Christ,


Brummy