ReThink: Local Schools

There is something amazing that happens with relationships over time. It's this natural thing which allows no shortcuts but which God uses magnificently for His glory. Being in my fifth year of ministry at The Chapel, this is my third year in partnership with the local middle schools - and there is something beautiful about that.

There were often times I prayed and wanted something in that moment that I am just beginning to glimpse. And so I would like to share today three words of advice for those looking to partner with their local schools.

1. Pray. And accept whatever answer.

I prayed, knowing what I wanted, but willing to accept what I got. At the beginning of my first year I asked God to open doors in local schools and close others - that He would lead and I would follow. And that is what happened - schools I thought would allow me to come alongside were ones who said "no" whereas the schools I received the most resistance from are now schools in which I have deep relationships with principals, faculty, and students. God works in mysterious ways.

2. Be ok knowing your culture is different from my culture and their culture. But there is one common thread...

A lot of times there is really just nothing you can do. Most schools won't allow you to come in and eat at lunch. Most schools won't allow you to come in and chaperone a school dance. Most schools won't...

But - you can do something even better. I began to walk my dog past a local middle school daily and integrate the school - faces I had seen, teachers I knew, students who I know were hurting - and prayed for them as I walked. Prayer is something always needed and that regardless of location - you can always do.

3. Trust God

Hopefully this is a given - but trust God. God will do things you never expected and beyond what you could imagine. The reality is that when God moves - he moves. There may be times where what you wanted or expected are not the reality - and that is ok. I have learned that with time, remaining faithful, God will do things I never even thought of. He will use me in crazy ways - and it is beautiful. There may be dreams I had that never come to fruition - but there are other things the Lord sweeps me into which make me set aside all disappointment I may have had.

I never dreamed I would be able to walk into a cafeteria as a norm - that students would actually wonder and ask why I hadn't been there in awhile. I never realized the opportunity I would have to reach those working day after day with students - to encourage them and come alongside them.

Pray. Be ok with whatever situation. And trust God.

Rethinking...Why Relationships (And Fun) Are So Key

Yesterday, I picked up a few 6th graders after school and we all went to Dairy Queen. Now - it is about 20 degrees outside, first day of spring - but that didn't stop us. And while we were there a few things hit me - I have been especially processing these past few weeks how we do middle school ministry at my church (The Chapel in North Canton) and whether it is the most effective way - or whether we need to change a few things to be most effective at discipling these students in our community. I realized two things yesterday.

1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key

One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.

2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun

Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!

I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan." 

I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.

- Brummy

Rethinking...The In-between (They Aren't Kids...)

This one will hurt. A little. But here is the reality - and its one I embrace but I fear many parents do not.

Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.

Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.

All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")

I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.

The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.

The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.

In Christ,

Brummy

Rethinking...Outside the "Church" Times

I never met Jesus in a classroom. I never really met Jesus through a sermon. I met Jesus through the relationships I had with people - with those who really modeled to me Jesus unconditional love. And the best learning experiences I had were times they sat with me over coffee or a burger and really reminded me of that love - that I was made for more than what I was doing now, that nothing I was trying to do would satisfy because I wasn't made for it.

Do people learn from sermons? Yes. Do people learn in a classroom? Yes. But at the heart of all of this - the most impactful sermons have been from those whom I have a deep relationship with - whom I know deeply love and I have seen live that love. The most meaningful classroom learning experiences have been with those whom I have a relationship with - who cared about me beyond just me learning what they were trying to teach.

And this my friends - is why every hour outside of the Sunday morning or Wednesday night environment counts. Do they learn here? Yes. Do they also learn more from watching and living with you outside these times? Possibly. I did.

That in the middle of a Call of Duty match (because of how middle school minds work) you hear a 7th grader say "I got [friend's name] to read 1 Corinthians with me today. He may come to church with me sometime soon too."

And that, my friends, is beautiful. Let's get outside this box - God isn't confined to a building, things aren't inherently "Christian" and non-Christian. I had a better conversation with this student about God while playing Call of Duty than I had with them on Sunday morning, during a worship service, in our church building.

I am so excited God continues to open my eyes and remind me that He is center of all - and its not confined to our "God moments" but to every moment. And the beauty of working with students is they are walking through this too - they have not yet confined things to boxes - and we can just as easily have God talk over Xbox live playing their favorite game as we can sitting in chairs at the church.

In Christ,

Brummy

An Honest Question for Parents

Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:

"Do you love Jesus?"

Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.

Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration. 

I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did. 

But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.

My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.

I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?

Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?

I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa? 

Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?

Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child. 

I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.

Do you love Jesus?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

Praise

I praise God for this past year.

I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.

I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.

I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.

I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.

I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.

I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.

I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.

I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.

I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.

What Have We Done

What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.

I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?

We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?

I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal. 


But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.

- Brummy

The New Reality of Middle School

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)

I think some of us have lost grip on just what it means to be in middle school. Some of those reading this may have a child in middle school, but I am not sure all of us are awake and aware to the reality of what it means to be in middle school. In my personal opinion, this is possibly the most important time in a person's life. It is a time of transition, one in which they are beginning to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives, while still being in a phase of being shapeable and being impacted by others. One thing is certain: a middle schooler is no longer a child. 

To be honest with you, these are some of the things our students are going through right now, either because they wrote them on prayer cards, because they have told me, or because I have witnessed them from being "on their turf" in the schools on a monthly/weekly basis.

• Wondering if friends & family accept them
• Major anxiety
• Bullies
• Dealing with family's divorce
• Father not being at home and causing stress
• Loss of Father
• Loss of grandparents
• Hurting for sister who "feels insignificant and un-loved"
• Sexual and vulgar thoughts, feeling hopeless to keep mind clean from them
• Friends at school leaving them out and talking about student behind back
• Cutting
• Suicidal thoughts
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Anger
• Drugs

Too often I see middle schoolers being stereotyped into "annoying, frustrating" who can't have spiritual conversations. They get tossed into this category, and sadly, it sickens me. Many would rather invest in high school students who can "hold a mature conversation, about deep spiritual things." This truly breaks my heart. Because honestly, if there are not those willing to step in now, there are many for whom it will be too late by high school. (Not that God doesn't work, but in my life experience, by freshman year, I witnessed my friends already set on paths which they have followed for the most part to this day. The most critical time was middle school.) Middle school was when my struggles began, and had truly set in by freshman year.

The new reality is this - middle schoolers deal with even more than I ever imagined dealing with, that I am certain you ever imagined dealing with. Do not overlook these students, deeply loved by God. Don't see them just as annoying, as immature. We cannot imagine what most of them go through. And each and every one is desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

What I've Learned About Middle School Discipleship

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22

I've been reflecting on my past year in ministry, and I've taken a few thoughts I've learned on discipleship. I started with this passage because I think it highlights where it all begins: with the pursuit by God, and God calling out.

#1 - The Call Out

I look at a few of the guys in my connect group and reflect on the effort and pursuit I made to call them out from just "attending" church on Sunday to being a part of community, to being a part of living life together. This is where it must begin: you must continue to pursue, to press after, to say "follow me." In saying this, you reflect Christ in saying, "Hey, you're worth spending time with. You have value, I want to get to know you, so that you can get to know Christ."

#2 - The Long Haul

You have to be in it for the long haul. Which means long hours, many of which will have students being, as many of the disciples were, at times frustrating and dumb. These guys who spent a ton of time with Jesus often seemed to be more clueless than the crowds. In the same way, I have had numerous frustrations with students who seemed to get it and still do the same things and ask the same questions. And yet, in the long haul, that time and effort pay off.

#3 - Be Prepared


Don't let frustrations break you down. Know that God is working, that even if it seems all a student does is fart and poop for a whole year, the fact that you called them out, into relationship, reflecting Christ calling each of us out, the fact that you invested in them more than just a Sunday or Wednesday, God is working. I probably am at the extreme of spending time with the guys I am closest with, my little disciples. And yet, I have seen God's faithfulness and His work in their lives. When I pressed on and didn't give up, I saw a restored relationship with 3 of them, I saw submission of struggles in their lives, things I never would have known without pursuit and being in it for the long haul.

#4 - Don't Let Discouragement Let You Quit


I often hit this mark, but each time I thought of giving up, thinking I couldn't do it anymore, I pressed forward just a little longer. And in that, God would give me a small moment of joy, which overcame the greatest sense of discouragement. If we are willing to invest, to call out, to be in it for the long haul, God will work through us. I know there are some of my guys whom I will never have a deep conversation with. But I know that God is at work in their lives, even if I don't know it. And thus I refuse to let discouragement or feeling like I have no impact get the best of me. Because I know that God is at work, through me and through others, for His glory.

So continue to call out, be in it for the long haul. Past just the time you must spend with your students, its an all the time thing, reflecting Christ in their lives through all you do, not just in the Sunday or Wednesday moments. Do it for God's glory. Press forward. Don't give up.

- Brummy

Wait for the Lord

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

This past month I have learned much about waiting for the Lord. Many difficult situations have been thrown at me, and through them I have had to wait for God. For God to give me the wisdom as to what (or what not) to say. And before all this, I believe I was waiting for the Lord.

Much of what I do is spending time with students. I believe relationships are critical, foundational, to sharing the gospel to students. I believe relationships allow (and force) one to speak without ever saying a word. By our actions, modeling a sacrificial love, it then brings us into places to actually use words to speak what we believe, to use words to speak God's truth and love. But this all involves a lot of waiting, waiting for the Lord, and His timing. That the relationships you pour and invest to, knowing you are in them because of God's love, involve a lot of waiting. I've waited a lot with students. Waited for opportunities to speak what I believe, while quietly doing my best to model God's love to them. I waited, praying sometimes that God would give opportunities for me to speak.

And then, funny how God works, it all hit at once. A lot happened. But it involved a lot of waiting. Waiting on the Lord, because for awhile I wondered if what we did at 180 Student Ministries made an impact, if the truth we preached was getting across. And it was. But it was on God's timing, not mine. It wasn't during that "awesome" worship service we had poured hours into, from that tear jerking Passion video. It was in the simple moments after a Connect Group, in the wake of the passing of a beloved father, in the quiet moments before a midnight showing of a movie. It involved a lot of waiting. It was a test, a challenge.

But what I have learned is this: wait for the Lord. For his timing. Be strong through it all. Because you don't know how things will play out. Just because a student doesn't respond in an awesome service which seems to be the most spirit-filled, doesn't mean the message wasn't gotten across. Be faithful in your relationships, first to God, and second to those in your life. Live out what you believe, because most people want to see they can trust you before they trust you with words. Take courage, know that God is at work. And wait for Him.

- Brummy.

Reality of Middle School

And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." - Luke 5:30-32 (ESV)

Occasionally I enter into the crazy world known as the middle school cafeteria. It is a humbling experience, and gives me much insight into the world of the students I work with. This is a part of the students everyday life, something I am privileged to see a side of, apart from a church meeting, where its not just Christian friends, or church kids. Its a whole pot of people, from the preppy kids, to the "emo" kids, to those who are socially awkward, to the kids who have disabilities. And it gives me insight to a world full of people who are all the same: in need of the love of Christ.

I always get the weird stares, but I also get the connection gained with consistency. There are some kids whose names I forget, but who know me as the "guy with cool converse" or as Arty, since I bear some resemblance to this character from the tv hit Glee. I see my students, and I see my students friends, and I see students whom I would otherwise have no connection with. It brings joy now that I hear cries of "Brummy!" and my best little 7th grade lunch table always makes me laugh, and hopefully not get in trouble.

Today, however, I had a conversation with an 8th grade student about the reality of middle school. He asked me to pray for him, the last words I would expect to hear at a middle school lunch table, let alone inside a church from an 8th grade guy. And yet, he asked me to pray for him. And he began to talk about the reality of middle school: the kid who was under house arrest and no one knew why, and didn't blame it on the kid but on his tough situation. That he couldn't define any person as a "good" person in his grade, a reality that hit me.

I also briefly talked to a table which had intimidated me, it was the 8th grade wrestling team, the guys who looked like they should be in high school. But one kid waved me over briefly. And I realized, all these kids are just searching out for the same thing: a sense of love and purpose which hasn't been found in anything their friends of school has offered. Its a sense which I hope I resonate, because it took me forever to find. The love of Christ, and redemption through his sacrifice is the only place one can find purpose, wholeness, and meaning. These kids don't see many adults who would choose to be there. I get confused with a lunch monitor, to which I respond, I am not. I work at a church and I'm just here visiting because I want to. I don't want to preach at them, don't want to convert them. I want my actions to display what I believe. If all I have are words, then I've missed something. Jesus didn't just say he loved us, he demonstrated it. In the same way, I see a lot of kids who may have heard church lingo, heard people say they're loved or to live a certain way, but how many see it being lived out?

I'll be honest, it sucks sometimes. But these kids need people who willingly choose to be a part of their lives, outside of the church walls, outside of small group. Saying, you matter to me more than an hour on Sunday or Wednesday, because to God you matter more than that. Which is why I'll text, I'll facebook, I'll tweet, I'll skype, because it allows me to communicate with them. To let them know they matter beyond what they think, beyond what they have perceived from the church in the past. That I'm not going to be afraid to enter into their world, because they need someone to. They need someone to come in and show them the love of Jesus. That person who is willing to sit down and eat with them, talk with them, play video games with them. Even when someone would say, dude you're 22, get a life. Dude, you're a mom, just worry about your own kids. Dude, no kid wants to hang with you. Dude, you can't really do anything for them. Dude, they're a lost cause. Don't fall for this, don't let fear or intimidation stop you.

There is a world of people looking to be shown what it means to follow Christ, who need to see what the love of Christ looks like in everyday life. Most of them live right next door to you. Its easy to board a plane, and yes its needed. But look at your friends, the kids on your block, who need that person to shine a light for Christ in their lives.

- Brummy

No Bull...

This past week has been crazy. This past month has been crazy. I have learned a lot, I have had my ups, had my downs. And all I anticipate as the holidays move forward is more craziness. Perhaps in my life directly, more likely in the lives of those I am in contact with on a daily basis.

However, the one thing I have been learning is this: being real matters.

Students have many questions, they have things they hear at school, from friends, from the media, things which may seem "unchurch" topics. And yet, what topic is not a "church" topic? Things we would deem not to talk about, for example: bestiality. Funny, God talks about this.

Leviticus 18:23, Exodus 22:19, and Leviticus 20:16 all hit this topic. These laws, setting in place the understanding that sex with animals was wrong was put in place by God because the gentile world was under the impression that these things were alright. But see, God doesn't just say "don't do it." There is a define for what sex is, in what context it is intended, and that it is a good thing. This is just an example, but it is the concept I am trying to hit on. The Bible addressees, quite frankly, something today we would say "Don't even mention in the church!" Is it awkward to talk about? Yes! But here is the deal: there are things the world talks about, talks about frankly, and gives its input on. So why should the church hush the questions, frank as they may be, on certain topics? Because they make us feel uncomfortable? What is uncomfortable is knowing that there are thousands of youth who walk into churches every day with the impression they must put on a mask, that they cannot be real, talk about things they hear at school, hear from those who have dealt with these things before or who can give insight on these things.

In my conversations with students, I seek out truth and honesty. I set in place a circle of trust, meaning what is shared is shared in confidence. There are no dumb questions. And also no bull*. Lets be real. If something is going on, if you have a question ask it. God knows your heart, your mind, what is going on. Why, then, should we be afraid to hear these questions? Or to ask them? Or to share? It may not be an easy conversation, but we aren't meant to be the geniuses, to have all the answers. Point to Christ, to the Word of God. Let God speak, let His truth shine.

- Brummy

Live as You Are Called

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 (ESV)

Many wonder how or why I do middle school ministry. And I will tell you. Because I see it as one of the most important and critical time periods in a persons life. These years, in my personal opinion, are critical in that a person begins to make choices which will stick with them the rest of their life. Entering into 6th grade you begin to leave childhood behind, and exiting 8th grade your feet are beginning to be set on paths which you will follow into your adult life.

It is here that the world throws things at you: sex, drugs, porn, alcohol, status, fame, depression, eating disorders. And I look and say: how can one not see this critical time. Because while the world is throwing these things, there is still the sense of childlike innocence, still the ear willing to listen, the voice wanting to be heard.

You may see these kids as kids: telling poop jokes, farting, not paying attention. And I have seen them as God's beloved children: lost in a very big world, reaching out. Asking questions about God. Seeking to find love and answers to why they feel a certain way. Afraid to ask questions because for some reason, adults don't think its okay to question things. Read the Psalms. How many times did the Psalmists cry out to God, asking why He had abandoned them. Yet it all came back to hope: knowing that God would never forsake them. This is the hope, the only thing I can offer, to middle school students. And this is why middle school ministry, in my mind, is real ministry. God loves these students where they are at. He doesn't need them to be more theologically sound. Because God doesn't need anything from us. And He doesn't love you or me more because we "know" more than a middle schooler does.

I wouldn't trade what I am doing now for anything. I have no plans of moving on, because to me, there is no moving on. I get that maybe you haven't been called to work with youth, or middle school. But please do not let that degrade the calling God has given someone else. I am not called to adults (at this moment, and it doesn't mean I don't have ministry there. My focus, however is on middle school students and the adults in their lives.) yet you may be called there. Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him. And let us not diminish the individual callings God has placed on each of us. I am only Matt Brumfield, and I don't expect you to be me, nor should you expect me to be you. We are individuals, broken and wretched, yet used by God for His glory.

He has given me a passion for middle school students. I pray wherever your passion is, in Christ, you would use it for His glory. And do it well, where he has called you, not looking down on another, but celebrating and embracing where each other has been called.

- Brummy

A Note To Parents: Do Not Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

I get small glimpses of what it must be like to be a parent of a middle schooler. What a strange age, where there is a part that is still such a child and another part tugging away, resisting mom and dad's authority and often times seeing with blinders on their eyes. But with this, I also see a side of the students which mom and dad often don't see. Both good and bad, but moreso good.

I want to write this to encourage parents: do not fear. I can't imagine how many times my parents must have been worried that their little boy was suddenly becoming this rebellious, out of control, adolescent. (And at times I was.) And yet, there is another side I see revealed. I have witnessed students who go from being uber disrespectful towards mom and dad to standing beside me, inviting themselves to our new third worship time and singing. Now, this surprises me: most middle school guys don't sing, or if they do its in a funny voice to get attention. And here I stood - next to a seventh grade student who really has a great voice, listening to his singing in worship to His God and Savior. And I knew - why do I fear? My job isn't to worry about every little choice a student makes. Because in the end I can't control it. My job is to love. To speak the truth, to point them to Christ, to give insight on choices they do make. But not to fear, because in fearing I have begun to stop trusting in God. That he is in control, that he has a plan for this student's life.

I hope you would know that the perfect love of Christ gives us no reason to fear. That because our Holy God sent Christ, His son, to be our perfect atoning sacrifice - there is no reason to fear. While we ourselves, while a student, may get off track for a time, God never lets go of them. God who interceded, sent His son to be "Immanuel" - God with us - is certainly present today, working in us and through us. I want you to be encouraged that whatever is going on, things that frighten, either from your child, from the world, that there is no reason to fear. God has called us out, to something greater than us.

And so my role is one of love, that even in the times the students turn to disrespect me, when I feel I have had enough, I think of that perfect love. I think of Christ on the cross. The One who knew know sin took it upon himself, and in those moments I push through, by God's grace, turning to the students in love. Parents - you are doing something right, be encouraged, know that middle school is a crazy time, but let us together set aside fear and love - because we first have been loved.

- Brummy

Where Do You Seek Rest?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

As we move into 2012, I have noticed there seems to be a lot of weariness. Perhaps this season was crazier than others. Life seems to be crazier and heavier now than it has been for a lot of people, myself included. Many of us are looking for rest, whether in middle school, high school, college, parents, grandparents, pastors, leaders, interns. So the question arises, where do we find rest?

There are things which, of course, we tend to turn to for a bit of personal escape, which I believe is alright. Fishing, for a good friend of mine. Music and starbucks for others. Perhaps video games for some.  And while these things are great (I enjoy all but fishing...) I think we have the tendency to forget to rest in God. Especially those of us who are continually investing and pouring into the lives of others.

Personally, I have a problem. Its a good one though. My heart grows heavy and breaks for those who are hurting and searching in life. And with that means I have to balance an understanding that I cannot be Jesus, but I can do my best to point them to Jesus through my actions and words. I can be there for them, but I cannot fix them. Sometimes this gets me down. And sometime, being around a lot of hurting students and people all week weighs me down. Which reminds me why I need Matthew 11:28. That when I am weary, weary of seeing so much brokenness, I run to God. That when I feel weighed down by seeing broken families, I turn to Christ. That I surrender it to Him. That I rest in the fact that He knows they are hurting, that God is a God who redeems, who restores. And He does it on his timing. My own life wasn't turned around in a day. It was more like a 20 some year process, cause its still in the works. And while its not easy to grasp, I can rest in the hope of Christ. I can come to Him when I feel overwhelmed in life, in ministry, with a student, with a family.

And you, where do you go when you are overwhelmed?  You are not abandoned. You are not alone. You don't have to fix everything. You can't fix everything. But you can turn to the One who loves you more deeply than you could ever imagine. Rest in Him, turn to Him, and we have this promise: God will give us rest, if we come to Him.

In Christ,

- Brummy

Heroes

My life is not ordinary. No, not because I sometimes mask myself in bright orange skihats and call myself "The Viking" cleverly screaming about how I am going to defend North Canton of all evil (especially rival villains from Jackson and Lake.) Yes, most of my interactions are with those in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, but my days are not spent inside a school building.

And this particular Wednesday evening was filled with masked, caped, hooded, tight-wearing superheros. Of the middle school variety. A few dozen middle school students stepping up to the challenge of coming up with their best copy-cat or unique superhero character. And I was reminded why I love my life.

Most weeks go like this (minus the superhero-ness.) I am blessed to speak into the lives of numerous middle school students. I serve as the Director of Middle School at The Chapel in North Canton. Regardless of where you stand on religion, I am blessed to be able to come alongside parents in the stark county area and assist them in bringing up their children. Yes, I have a passion for Jesus, and because of that a passion to love these families and students.

Our superhero night was a time to be goofy, and it was. We threw marshmallows into plungers (an awesome game I thought up a few minutes before the event started. It could have totally failed, but was actually a hit.) We enjoyed random dance parties to this new trending "Interlude" dance (a hit coming from colleges which has now been tradition as part of our middle school gatherings each Sunday and mid-week.) And I was also blessed to just take time to be with these students.

Towards the end we talked about heroes. We all have them. I was humbled to hear some of them share the names of various leaders in our community they look up to, and was humbled to hear some say my name. And I realized what responsibility that is. In the midst of this goofy time of wearing tights (which I too wore, underneath my athletic shorts) dancing to crazy techno songs, and eating ice cream covered in way too many toppings, I have the unique opportunity to be a part of these students lives at this critical time.

Too often middle schoolers are overlooked as kids, which a part of them still are, but many are faced with huge villains in their lives. Villains such as the death of their pet, bullies at school, their parents divorce, trying to live up to the social images the world portrays (which leads to eating disorders, bodily self-harm, depression, etc.) And I realize that they need more heroes in their lives. They need other adults who will truly understand them for where they are, that they are facing very really, very big, and very scary villains. And I personally believe they need to meet the greatest hero of all time, who made the ultimate sacrifice for us all, out of love. Jesus. Who loves them amidst their villains, their struggles, and their goofy, cape wearing, voice cracking, awkward dancing, middle school natures.

So each week I enjoy times of goofyness. Times of epic nerf wars, and pottery painting sessions. And am reminded of how much these students are facing, and how deeply they need to know they are loved for who they are and where they are at right now.

Thank You - A Blog to Parents

For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Parents, I just wanted to write this post today to thank you. To thank you for allowing me to come alongside you. While much of my job is to build into youth, I am so grateful that you trust me and allow me to come alongside you. I want to write to encourage you all today to continue in what you are doing. Because you are doing something right. It is an honor and a privilege to come alongside you, to be able to assist in any way possible. I cannot possibly imagine what it is to be a father, to have a child of my own. And yet I am blessed to have a small role in watching your interactions, to learn from you, to be encouraged by you. I don't write to tell you what you are doing wrong, there may be other posts (and I know I will need posts reminding me what I am doing wrong.) But I wanted to write to encourage, to remind you that I am not here to replace you.


I hear the phrase, do your job so that you won't have one. While I would miss my role, I would love it if there honestly was no need for me, if students desired to spend their time with their parents, with their families. And they do. They cherish the moments they spend with you as a Father, with you as a Mother, more than the time they spend with me. That I can fade into the background so they can take that time with their family is a joy. That I can be an extra voice repeating the same advice you give is a joy, that in the end it is your guidance they follow, while perhaps not from your mouth. If that is how I assist, than thank you. It truly is a joy to be able to serve you. I have grown to love your children, and to love you as parents. I encourage you to continue to look to Christ, that we continue to look to Christ, in all we do.


Thank you again for the great privilege of allowing me to be a second voice in your child's life. I pray that you would let me know any way I can be of assistance to you now or in the future.


In Christ,


- Brummy

Why We Can't Overlook Middle Schoolers

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

I spent the weekend with over 150 middle school students, 30 some of them from the youth group I shepherd. I was blessed to have my group for the weekend consist of 6 middle school boys whom I was able to lead in the activities and lead in discussion after each session. And the weekend reminded me why the church needs those who are invested in the day to day lives of students in 6, 7, and 8 grade.

Going into the weekend I knew I had students who are in the midst of parents fighting every day. I knew I had students who wonder each day whether they are loved by their father or loved by their mother. I had students whom I knew were trying to figure out what is happening to them, why they are changing, what these emotions are they are feeling, why they aren't little kids anymore. And I had students who I knew desperately needed those to love them for who they are, for where they are, and to show them God's love.

There were 20 minutes on Saturday where the students were released to the camp to take time alone to spend with God. I walked and prayed as I watched the students curl up on rocks, sit on swings, on logs, alone in the cold and the dark. And yet not alone, embraced by the arms of a God who loves them. I saw students kneeling, saw students with hands raised and eyes lifted to heaven. And I prayed, I prayed. And I knew, God was moving.

As the minutes faded and my sixth graders entered the cabin, I began to ask them how their time went. And God revealed to me how He had moved. A student shared how he surrendered his life fully to Christ, began to share the realizations which God showed him, things in his life which don't line up with following God. That its not a Sunday thing, but an every day thing. We had deep conversations about how every girl is a daughter of God, and God is one father with a shotgun you don't want to mess with. I had another student break down in tears and got to talk and pray with him about his relationship with his dad. And I realized while I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a few of these middle schoolers, there are hundreds more in Stark County which we overlook. We look down on, we despise because they are young.

Was the weekend full of poop stories? Of farting? Of smelliness? Of a giant, freezing mud pit? YES! But going through this with them, allowing them to be themselves, meeting them where they are at. It is what Christ calls us to. And I sit and realize how blessed I am to work with this age, to be able to speak into their lives at this critical age. This is when they are beginning to make decision about the rest of their lives. Not at 15. Not at 16. Not at 18. Not at 25. Yes, they make decisions, but it begins NOW, at age 11 and 12. And they get it, if you give them a chance to speak, if you take a moment to listen. To giggle with them, to fart with them, to laugh about the time you pooped your pants. And to be messy beside them, to be real.

If we are willing to come alongside them as they are, laugh with them, cry with them, and listen, God will use us. God will use you. I have seen more evidence of those truly striving to live for Christ in my incoming sixth grade class this year then I often see in the adult community (not intending to be disrespectful) But when a sixth grader makes a realization they need to change things in their lives, you know God is active. And when they share that they know it will be hard, but that they have to. Well let me tell you. They are setting the example. Will we follow it? And will we follow the example of Christ? Will we be willing to get messy. Because these students need us now. At this age. High School is critical, but in my eyes, from my experience, if we wait until then, its often too late.

God has placed on my heart a passion for middle school ministry, for middle school students, for high school students, for the world. I pray we wouldn't overlook this age group though, just because we think they are smelly, they are kids, or they are annoying. Because they are very much in need of God's love, and to be loved. They are very much dealing with more than we could possibly imagine. And God is very much working and using them at their age. Because they are willing, often more willing than us. And that is beautiful.

- Brummy

Rescue the Weak and Needy

"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." They have neither knowledge nor understanding, they walk about in darkness; all the foundations of the earth are shaken. - Psalm 82:3-5 (ESV)

 It has been a week since I walked into a local middle school, and only the 3rd time I have been there. And yet, as I entered the halls I was walking and hear a cry of "Matthew!" I turn and find a 6th grade boy running towards me. I smile inside, that I was recognized and remembered from being spotted from a distance. This student walks along with me into the meeting area, and I find myself greeted by a few other students I had met, some only once others both days I was involved. I realize a sacrifice (but not really) of one extra hour on one extra day is worth it. To see students smile as I walk through, even though some are probably catching on that I am not the best tutor (what can I say, majoring in youth ministry means you tend to forget a lot of the "schooly" stuff) but its the conversations, the relationships which matter.

I had started a conversation with two guys last week about how they really don't need to greet each other by cussing each other out and talking about girls inappropriately. Now, this is a talk which is probably going to go towards, hey don't do that. I said, "Dudes, why do you have to do that?" last week. And yet, they asked when we would finish it? 5th graders, wanting to continue a conversation about why what they were doing wasn't cool or a good thing to do. And it breaks my heart, wondering how many times they just hear stop doing that and shut up, rather than talking through it. Someone who is willing to give them some attention, to help them be better in what they do. I understand teachers can only do so much, but I wonder what home life is like with mom and dad (or if mom or dad is even present.)

And I was reading the Psalms and was struck by Psalm 82, realizing that is my call to God this year. As I continue to build relationships, I see these kids just want to be loved, to know that someone is there for them. To rescue them, to be there to help in time of need, to deliver them. Because for many, they have no knowledge of a God who loves them, they don't understand why someone who isn't a teacher, isn't a parent would come and be there with them. But see, that is what shakes the earth. The earth was shaken by sin but sin was shaken by Christ, by the ultimate display of love he gave to a world unworthy of it. But because we are unworthy, it makes that love so much more beautiful, so much more pure.

I see these students, and my prayer is that they would not walk in darkness. And while my words may be limited, my actions are not. I am there to listen. They are already telling me secrets (that they have a girlfriend now) and it makes me smile. If it takes words for someone to see what I am about, then I'm not about it. A football player can't speak their skill, they embody it, it is seen through their actions. In the same way, I'm not a follower of Christ, I'm not in love with Him if only my lips speak it. My actions should make people say, hey, there's something different here.

This is my challenge: where are you at in life where you should be living daily as a light for Christ. If we aren't among the "darkness" how will it be made light? Don't just shine in the church. Don't separate loving God at church from the rest of your life. It shouldn't matter if you don't know what to say. Listen. Be there. Show it through your actions. Remember the one who died for you, who took nails in his hands, whose back was torn, flesh ripped out of, for you. That is sacrifice. And that is action speaking love. Surrender your pride, surrender your lust, surrender your time. We fill our lives with so much crap. And somehow we make a disconnect of God time and our time. We must stop that. Christ gave everything, all of Himself for us. Will we do the same? Let us stop making excuses. Let us stop just speaking it, let us do it. Every day. It's not easy, it never will be. But we must. There are those who don't understand, and unless we shine, unless we love them, how will they ever? So will I sacrifice my time for them? I will. Will you sacrifice your time for those who need it? For Christ? Only you can answer. But let us stop making excuses. We are to be the hands and feet of Christ, to be a presence, to love, to rescue the weak and the needy.

Called Out

I am fully expecting to receive at least one phone call this week. But I am 100% excited if I do, and 100% willing to take an earful from it.

 24Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. 28Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

We are talking about our "kingdoms" in life. Areas where we have put ourselves first. Bigger than this, we are talking about God's kingdom, that it is here and now. That when we place ourselves first, living by our rules in the different kingdoms, or areas, of our lives, it is not being a part of God's kingdom. When you choose what music to go on your iPod, what clothes to buy, who to date, all without reference to God and His will and desire, you are not living as a part of God's kingdom. A king is the one who rules, who is in charge.

This week I challenged about 15 or so middle school guys who sat around a circle to be real. I told them they aren't little boys anymore, they are young men. And that God is real, and He is daily a part of their life whether they try and make Him a part or not. I challenged them to identify areas where they needed to let God take control, to surrender to His kingdom. [We had examined the beatitudes as well, in Matthew 5. Check them out if you haven't. They're the Blessed are verses.]

 It was cool hearing the response as we talked about being real, about being men for God. Hearing some identify they had a big ego, some identify with sarcasm (I too confessed to being overly sarcastic) some to speaking without filtering what they are going to say. And it was cool, because they weren't middle schoolers at this moment. They weren't kids I was talking to. They were engaged, they were owning up, manning up, realizing where in life they needed to change. They didn't have to. But I was real. And then, I challenged them to call each other out. I challenged them to call me out. Because who am I to say that because of my age, my position, I have more of a right to call them out than they do me? And then I challenged them to, [takes deep breath] call their parents out if their is something in their life that isn't right. Phew, this could backfire.

But if my parents are the ones who I spend the most time with, the example they set is the one I will follow. If they claim Christ, and yet at home have a different facade, how do they expect me to be any different. Parents, I would appreciate a phone call if you are upset or want to talk. But I want to say it is humbling and it is radical when a middle school student calls you out. I have had it done. And it was also a beautiful picture of saying, God sees none as too young or too unimportant to be used. We may not like how God calls things out in our lives, and yet, I am encouraged. I see a generation who is open and realizing areas in their lives which need to be realigned with God.

I am not afraid to take a phone call this week. While perhaps the students may take my challenge in a wrong way, as a free to point the finger card, I know I have been personally called out by them on sarcasm. And while at first it made me upset I realized it was true. And I realized I had to own up to it, rather than shifting the blame. I don't want to be an Adam. I want to be a man desperate for Christ, to be conformed to Him.

 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God.

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were 

before you.

In Christ,

Brummy