What I've Learned About Middle School Discipleship

"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22

I've been reflecting on my past year in ministry, and I've taken a few thoughts I've learned on discipleship. I started with this passage because I think it highlights where it all begins: with the pursuit by God, and God calling out.

#1 - The Call Out

I look at a few of the guys in my connect group and reflect on the effort and pursuit I made to call them out from just "attending" church on Sunday to being a part of community, to being a part of living life together. This is where it must begin: you must continue to pursue, to press after, to say "follow me." In saying this, you reflect Christ in saying, "Hey, you're worth spending time with. You have value, I want to get to know you, so that you can get to know Christ."

#2 - The Long Haul

You have to be in it for the long haul. Which means long hours, many of which will have students being, as many of the disciples were, at times frustrating and dumb. These guys who spent a ton of time with Jesus often seemed to be more clueless than the crowds. In the same way, I have had numerous frustrations with students who seemed to get it and still do the same things and ask the same questions. And yet, in the long haul, that time and effort pay off.

#3 - Be Prepared


Don't let frustrations break you down. Know that God is working, that even if it seems all a student does is fart and poop for a whole year, the fact that you called them out, into relationship, reflecting Christ calling each of us out, the fact that you invested in them more than just a Sunday or Wednesday, God is working. I probably am at the extreme of spending time with the guys I am closest with, my little disciples. And yet, I have seen God's faithfulness and His work in their lives. When I pressed on and didn't give up, I saw a restored relationship with 3 of them, I saw submission of struggles in their lives, things I never would have known without pursuit and being in it for the long haul.

#4 - Don't Let Discouragement Let You Quit


I often hit this mark, but each time I thought of giving up, thinking I couldn't do it anymore, I pressed forward just a little longer. And in that, God would give me a small moment of joy, which overcame the greatest sense of discouragement. If we are willing to invest, to call out, to be in it for the long haul, God will work through us. I know there are some of my guys whom I will never have a deep conversation with. But I know that God is at work in their lives, even if I don't know it. And thus I refuse to let discouragement or feeling like I have no impact get the best of me. Because I know that God is at work, through me and through others, for His glory.

So continue to call out, be in it for the long haul. Past just the time you must spend with your students, its an all the time thing, reflecting Christ in their lives through all you do, not just in the Sunday or Wednesday moments. Do it for God's glory. Press forward. Don't give up.

- Brummy

Wait for the Lord

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

This past month I have learned much about waiting for the Lord. Many difficult situations have been thrown at me, and through them I have had to wait for God. For God to give me the wisdom as to what (or what not) to say. And before all this, I believe I was waiting for the Lord.

Much of what I do is spending time with students. I believe relationships are critical, foundational, to sharing the gospel to students. I believe relationships allow (and force) one to speak without ever saying a word. By our actions, modeling a sacrificial love, it then brings us into places to actually use words to speak what we believe, to use words to speak God's truth and love. But this all involves a lot of waiting, waiting for the Lord, and His timing. That the relationships you pour and invest to, knowing you are in them because of God's love, involve a lot of waiting. I've waited a lot with students. Waited for opportunities to speak what I believe, while quietly doing my best to model God's love to them. I waited, praying sometimes that God would give opportunities for me to speak.

And then, funny how God works, it all hit at once. A lot happened. But it involved a lot of waiting. Waiting on the Lord, because for awhile I wondered if what we did at 180 Student Ministries made an impact, if the truth we preached was getting across. And it was. But it was on God's timing, not mine. It wasn't during that "awesome" worship service we had poured hours into, from that tear jerking Passion video. It was in the simple moments after a Connect Group, in the wake of the passing of a beloved father, in the quiet moments before a midnight showing of a movie. It involved a lot of waiting. It was a test, a challenge.

But what I have learned is this: wait for the Lord. For his timing. Be strong through it all. Because you don't know how things will play out. Just because a student doesn't respond in an awesome service which seems to be the most spirit-filled, doesn't mean the message wasn't gotten across. Be faithful in your relationships, first to God, and second to those in your life. Live out what you believe, because most people want to see they can trust you before they trust you with words. Take courage, know that God is at work. And wait for Him.

- Brummy.

Reality of Middle School

And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." - Luke 5:30-32 (ESV)

Occasionally I enter into the crazy world known as the middle school cafeteria. It is a humbling experience, and gives me much insight into the world of the students I work with. This is a part of the students everyday life, something I am privileged to see a side of, apart from a church meeting, where its not just Christian friends, or church kids. Its a whole pot of people, from the preppy kids, to the "emo" kids, to those who are socially awkward, to the kids who have disabilities. And it gives me insight to a world full of people who are all the same: in need of the love of Christ.

I always get the weird stares, but I also get the connection gained with consistency. There are some kids whose names I forget, but who know me as the "guy with cool converse" or as Arty, since I bear some resemblance to this character from the tv hit Glee. I see my students, and I see my students friends, and I see students whom I would otherwise have no connection with. It brings joy now that I hear cries of "Brummy!" and my best little 7th grade lunch table always makes me laugh, and hopefully not get in trouble.

Today, however, I had a conversation with an 8th grade student about the reality of middle school. He asked me to pray for him, the last words I would expect to hear at a middle school lunch table, let alone inside a church from an 8th grade guy. And yet, he asked me to pray for him. And he began to talk about the reality of middle school: the kid who was under house arrest and no one knew why, and didn't blame it on the kid but on his tough situation. That he couldn't define any person as a "good" person in his grade, a reality that hit me.

I also briefly talked to a table which had intimidated me, it was the 8th grade wrestling team, the guys who looked like they should be in high school. But one kid waved me over briefly. And I realized, all these kids are just searching out for the same thing: a sense of love and purpose which hasn't been found in anything their friends of school has offered. Its a sense which I hope I resonate, because it took me forever to find. The love of Christ, and redemption through his sacrifice is the only place one can find purpose, wholeness, and meaning. These kids don't see many adults who would choose to be there. I get confused with a lunch monitor, to which I respond, I am not. I work at a church and I'm just here visiting because I want to. I don't want to preach at them, don't want to convert them. I want my actions to display what I believe. If all I have are words, then I've missed something. Jesus didn't just say he loved us, he demonstrated it. In the same way, I see a lot of kids who may have heard church lingo, heard people say they're loved or to live a certain way, but how many see it being lived out?

I'll be honest, it sucks sometimes. But these kids need people who willingly choose to be a part of their lives, outside of the church walls, outside of small group. Saying, you matter to me more than an hour on Sunday or Wednesday, because to God you matter more than that. Which is why I'll text, I'll facebook, I'll tweet, I'll skype, because it allows me to communicate with them. To let them know they matter beyond what they think, beyond what they have perceived from the church in the past. That I'm not going to be afraid to enter into their world, because they need someone to. They need someone to come in and show them the love of Jesus. That person who is willing to sit down and eat with them, talk with them, play video games with them. Even when someone would say, dude you're 22, get a life. Dude, you're a mom, just worry about your own kids. Dude, no kid wants to hang with you. Dude, you can't really do anything for them. Dude, they're a lost cause. Don't fall for this, don't let fear or intimidation stop you.

There is a world of people looking to be shown what it means to follow Christ, who need to see what the love of Christ looks like in everyday life. Most of them live right next door to you. Its easy to board a plane, and yes its needed. But look at your friends, the kids on your block, who need that person to shine a light for Christ in their lives.

- Brummy

No Bull...

This past week has been crazy. This past month has been crazy. I have learned a lot, I have had my ups, had my downs. And all I anticipate as the holidays move forward is more craziness. Perhaps in my life directly, more likely in the lives of those I am in contact with on a daily basis.

However, the one thing I have been learning is this: being real matters.

Students have many questions, they have things they hear at school, from friends, from the media, things which may seem "unchurch" topics. And yet, what topic is not a "church" topic? Things we would deem not to talk about, for example: bestiality. Funny, God talks about this.

Leviticus 18:23, Exodus 22:19, and Leviticus 20:16 all hit this topic. These laws, setting in place the understanding that sex with animals was wrong was put in place by God because the gentile world was under the impression that these things were alright. But see, God doesn't just say "don't do it." There is a define for what sex is, in what context it is intended, and that it is a good thing. This is just an example, but it is the concept I am trying to hit on. The Bible addressees, quite frankly, something today we would say "Don't even mention in the church!" Is it awkward to talk about? Yes! But here is the deal: there are things the world talks about, talks about frankly, and gives its input on. So why should the church hush the questions, frank as they may be, on certain topics? Because they make us feel uncomfortable? What is uncomfortable is knowing that there are thousands of youth who walk into churches every day with the impression they must put on a mask, that they cannot be real, talk about things they hear at school, hear from those who have dealt with these things before or who can give insight on these things.

In my conversations with students, I seek out truth and honesty. I set in place a circle of trust, meaning what is shared is shared in confidence. There are no dumb questions. And also no bull*. Lets be real. If something is going on, if you have a question ask it. God knows your heart, your mind, what is going on. Why, then, should we be afraid to hear these questions? Or to ask them? Or to share? It may not be an easy conversation, but we aren't meant to be the geniuses, to have all the answers. Point to Christ, to the Word of God. Let God speak, let His truth shine.

- Brummy

The Harvest is Plentiful, the Laborers Few

Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." - Matthew 9:37-38 (ESV)

Let me make something clear: I don't do my job because its fun. Secondly, I don't really consider it a job. I hope you don't see it only as some 20 something who doesn't want to grow up so he plays with nerf guns, plays video games, listens to rap music, etc. I am here because of Christ, and its not easy. Each week there are times I question myself, I am discouraged. And each week I am forced to cling to Christ.

I come in contact with numerous middle school and high school students throughout the week. I don't count just those who walk through the walls on Sunday (church is not defined, in my mind as once a week, or within the walls of a building.) If I have a conversation over a lunch table, that is "church." If I talk with a student at tutoring, someone who may never walk into our building, that is church. And I look and see so many students within this area of Stark County who are broken, who are hurting, who are waiting for someone to show them the love of Christ.

You're scared to? You don't think you can relate to students? Its not about relating. This weekend I sat down with a student from an inner city ministry who was at the same retreat as us. I didn't know him. He was 15 and in the 8th grade, from foster care, and a bit awkward to talk to. It was awkward to get him to respond. But see, he needed to see the love of Christ. Was it comfortable to sit down next to him? NO! But when were we ever called to be comfortable?

If you want comfort, sit your fat butt in a lazy-boy all day. But that's not being a christian. Sitting in the pew each Sunday, yeah its great. I love gathering and worshipping with you all. Its important. But more important is this: we cannot lose sight of the world around us. We aren't called to separate ourselves, in fact we are called to go INTO THE WORLD!


I see a lot of kids who only know brokenness, who only know hurt, pain, feeling alone. Who don't know the love of Christ. Correction: they don't see the love of Christ. It must be more than words, it must be more than handing them a Bible, more than handing them a tract (these things may go hand in hand, and not going to say God can't use them) but in reality they need to see a display of this love we speak of, which has redeemed us.

I challenge you, where are you displaying the love of Christ which you claim? At work? At home? At school? There are hundreds of middle school students who need to be shown the love of Christ. How many are willing to step up and take that challenge. To stop being comfortable, and start being real. Christ wasn't comfortable on the cross. Why do we think we should be comfortable as Christians, when there is a multitude of those in desperate need of the love of Christ.

Will you come alongside and show that love, share it through your actions, through all you do. It's not easy, but its not about what's easy. I am not here because its easy, because I like it. My passion is only because of what Christ has done in me. And I look and pray for those who will step up, who will get thats its not about liking it, about being perfectly relatable to middle school students. But who see a generation desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

Live as You Are Called

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 (ESV)

Many wonder how or why I do middle school ministry. And I will tell you. Because I see it as one of the most important and critical time periods in a persons life. These years, in my personal opinion, are critical in that a person begins to make choices which will stick with them the rest of their life. Entering into 6th grade you begin to leave childhood behind, and exiting 8th grade your feet are beginning to be set on paths which you will follow into your adult life.

It is here that the world throws things at you: sex, drugs, porn, alcohol, status, fame, depression, eating disorders. And I look and say: how can one not see this critical time. Because while the world is throwing these things, there is still the sense of childlike innocence, still the ear willing to listen, the voice wanting to be heard.

You may see these kids as kids: telling poop jokes, farting, not paying attention. And I have seen them as God's beloved children: lost in a very big world, reaching out. Asking questions about God. Seeking to find love and answers to why they feel a certain way. Afraid to ask questions because for some reason, adults don't think its okay to question things. Read the Psalms. How many times did the Psalmists cry out to God, asking why He had abandoned them. Yet it all came back to hope: knowing that God would never forsake them. This is the hope, the only thing I can offer, to middle school students. And this is why middle school ministry, in my mind, is real ministry. God loves these students where they are at. He doesn't need them to be more theologically sound. Because God doesn't need anything from us. And He doesn't love you or me more because we "know" more than a middle schooler does.

I wouldn't trade what I am doing now for anything. I have no plans of moving on, because to me, there is no moving on. I get that maybe you haven't been called to work with youth, or middle school. But please do not let that degrade the calling God has given someone else. I am not called to adults (at this moment, and it doesn't mean I don't have ministry there. My focus, however is on middle school students and the adults in their lives.) yet you may be called there. Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him. And let us not diminish the individual callings God has placed on each of us. I am only Matt Brumfield, and I don't expect you to be me, nor should you expect me to be you. We are individuals, broken and wretched, yet used by God for His glory.

He has given me a passion for middle school students. I pray wherever your passion is, in Christ, you would use it for His glory. And do it well, where he has called you, not looking down on another, but celebrating and embracing where each other has been called.

- Brummy

A Note To Parents: Do Not Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19 (ESV)

I get small glimpses of what it must be like to be a parent of a middle schooler. What a strange age, where there is a part that is still such a child and another part tugging away, resisting mom and dad's authority and often times seeing with blinders on their eyes. But with this, I also see a side of the students which mom and dad often don't see. Both good and bad, but moreso good.

I want to write this to encourage parents: do not fear. I can't imagine how many times my parents must have been worried that their little boy was suddenly becoming this rebellious, out of control, adolescent. (And at times I was.) And yet, there is another side I see revealed. I have witnessed students who go from being uber disrespectful towards mom and dad to standing beside me, inviting themselves to our new third worship time and singing. Now, this surprises me: most middle school guys don't sing, or if they do its in a funny voice to get attention. And here I stood - next to a seventh grade student who really has a great voice, listening to his singing in worship to His God and Savior. And I knew - why do I fear? My job isn't to worry about every little choice a student makes. Because in the end I can't control it. My job is to love. To speak the truth, to point them to Christ, to give insight on choices they do make. But not to fear, because in fearing I have begun to stop trusting in God. That he is in control, that he has a plan for this student's life.

I hope you would know that the perfect love of Christ gives us no reason to fear. That because our Holy God sent Christ, His son, to be our perfect atoning sacrifice - there is no reason to fear. While we ourselves, while a student, may get off track for a time, God never lets go of them. God who interceded, sent His son to be "Immanuel" - God with us - is certainly present today, working in us and through us. I want you to be encouraged that whatever is going on, things that frighten, either from your child, from the world, that there is no reason to fear. God has called us out, to something greater than us.

And so my role is one of love, that even in the times the students turn to disrespect me, when I feel I have had enough, I think of that perfect love. I think of Christ on the cross. The One who knew know sin took it upon himself, and in those moments I push through, by God's grace, turning to the students in love. Parents - you are doing something right, be encouraged, know that middle school is a crazy time, but let us together set aside fear and love - because we first have been loved.

- Brummy

Who Will This Year Be About?

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

In my preparation for our spring series on the book of Galatians, this verse has been hitting hard with me. Six days into the new year, I have also been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting on the past year and wondering about what is to come. And with it comes this question: who will this year be about? Will it be about Matt Brumfield? Will it be about my accomplishments? Of course, if it is, there will be a reason behind doing those things. Already I have the tendency to stop and ask, will doing this upset this person? How will this help or hinder my relationship with this person?

I have to stop and take a step back. I have to realize this year cannot be about me. It cannot be about trying to make every family in the church happy with our ministry. It cannot be about connecting with everyone I want to in the community. When it comes down to it, it must be about seeking to follow God. That in each and every thing I do, it is done for Him, because I know it will please Him.

Jesus didn't make people happy. In fact he made a lot of people unhappy. So why should I expect that in following Him everyone will be happy with me? There are some already who really want nothing to do with what I have to say, what I believe in. We have ties, some of them family ties, others deep friendships, but when it comes down to my God and Savior, they want nothing. I can't make them happy. There are some who have a mindset of a certain way to "do church," of a certain opinion of what things to talk about or not to talk about. I can tell you honestly, I won't please them. I am not one who holds to a "there are things not to talk about." While I may not bring them up, if a student is going through something, or is faced with a situation, I don't hold a "don't talk about it just read your Bible" stance. I take a let's talk about it and then examine God's word and see what he has to say.

Post-rant about why I will not make people happy - This year I pray that my focus is kept on Christ. That I will not do things to gain the approval of men. This got me nowhere, and it will honestly get you nowhere. If you live for man, you die to man, empty, void, incomplete. But if you live for Christ, die for Christ, you gain everlasting life with our Heavenly Father. Who knows what this year will bring. Let us bring to it hearts longing and seeking to serve God.

In Christ,

Brummy

Where Do You Seek Rest?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

As we move into 2012, I have noticed there seems to be a lot of weariness. Perhaps this season was crazier than others. Life seems to be crazier and heavier now than it has been for a lot of people, myself included. Many of us are looking for rest, whether in middle school, high school, college, parents, grandparents, pastors, leaders, interns. So the question arises, where do we find rest?

There are things which, of course, we tend to turn to for a bit of personal escape, which I believe is alright. Fishing, for a good friend of mine. Music and starbucks for others. Perhaps video games for some.  And while these things are great (I enjoy all but fishing...) I think we have the tendency to forget to rest in God. Especially those of us who are continually investing and pouring into the lives of others.

Personally, I have a problem. Its a good one though. My heart grows heavy and breaks for those who are hurting and searching in life. And with that means I have to balance an understanding that I cannot be Jesus, but I can do my best to point them to Jesus through my actions and words. I can be there for them, but I cannot fix them. Sometimes this gets me down. And sometime, being around a lot of hurting students and people all week weighs me down. Which reminds me why I need Matthew 11:28. That when I am weary, weary of seeing so much brokenness, I run to God. That when I feel weighed down by seeing broken families, I turn to Christ. That I surrender it to Him. That I rest in the fact that He knows they are hurting, that God is a God who redeems, who restores. And He does it on his timing. My own life wasn't turned around in a day. It was more like a 20 some year process, cause its still in the works. And while its not easy to grasp, I can rest in the hope of Christ. I can come to Him when I feel overwhelmed in life, in ministry, with a student, with a family.

And you, where do you go when you are overwhelmed?  You are not abandoned. You are not alone. You don't have to fix everything. You can't fix everything. But you can turn to the One who loves you more deeply than you could ever imagine. Rest in Him, turn to Him, and we have this promise: God will give us rest, if we come to Him.

In Christ,

- Brummy

Holy...Have we lost sight

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" - Isaiah 6:3

 My heart has been uneasy lately. I am not sure why, perhaps it is getting to the midway point of my first true year in middle school ministry, so I am processing things I have done, what could be done better, what must change, mistakes I have made, mistakes I am making. Amidst all this I am trying my best to stay focused on God. Trying to stay focused on God for who He is, amidst how I see God responded to in light of what I will call the "modern American church."

I have realized that our culture has shifted greatly from the culture of the Israelites and the New Testament early church. And I realize in this transition we may have lost something. We are preparing this week to begin a series on Christmas, although it does not have the traditional "nativity story" start. It begins back with Moses, with Yahweh, at the command to build the tabernacle. Some reading this have no idea what the tabernacle was. Read Exodus, there are like 11 chapters there about it. Essentially, it was the place where God dwelled among the Israelites, a place set apart just for God. It was the Holy place. The word holy is the Hebrew Qadesh meaning: to be set apart for a special purpose. To the Israelites, the understood God in light of his holiness. He was feared, because he was holy. He was perfect in his goodness, in his attributes, and he was feared because they realized how far from him they were. The place God dwelled could only be entered once a year by the high priest, and even then was the fear of the priest being struck down by God, because God is holy. And we are not.

In the light of todays present society, we lose sight of what it means for God to be holy. Too often we take for granted what it really means for God, in his holiness, to send his Son to die for us. For God to dwell, to tabernacle in us through the Holy Spirit. Do we take time to realize a holy God paid the price to buy us back, amidst all the times we have turned from him?

Israel based their lives around God. True, they were not perfect. But the tabernacle was with them, they were led through the wilderness. Did they have their times of doubt? Absolutely. Their times of failure and distrust? Absolutely.

Today, however, I get the sense we based God around our lives. We take for granted His holiness, focusing on the fact we have his grace. If I can read this morning, I will. If I can make it to church, I will. Oh, I'm just too tired. If the High Priest was too tired to make the sacrifices, it could mean his end, the people's end when he entered the Holy of Holies. Today, we are so focused on self. We have created a culture dependent upon us. Until something goes wrong, and then still we become upset with God for not making things work our way. The Israelites had this too, anger at God for leading them into the wilderness to starve, anger at God for leading them to the promised land which was filled with giants. For us, we like making it on our own without God, and we grow frustrated when we don't see Him do things our way.

I am in no way an advocate for saying one must attend church every Sunday because that is a true Christian. But if we honestly search our hearts, when God searches our hearts, what is our life built upon? Is it revolving around a holy God, who in His perfect goodness reached down to us, came down to us, paid the price for our sins, was the ultimate High Priest, so we may be in relationship with Him again? Or is it based upon the fact God is simply God, a good choice, someone we sometimes follow, when it is convenient to us. Because life is busy. Yeah, God, life is busy, you know this. I mean, I have to work to support my family. My kids need to play sports because this may be the only time they can, they're only kids once. And we really need to do this, and that, and this. Yeah, we'll read our bible here for an hour each night. But when we create God to be a time-slot in our lives, we lose sight of his holiness, who he is.

Let our lives be focused on Him, and all we do come from His love, His goodness. When I work, I work because of the work he has done in me. When I am with friends, I am a light to them. When I am with family, I love them as He has loved me. When I play sports, I play for the Lord, giving Him glory and thanks. God is not a "time-slot" in our day, in our lives. He must be center stage, for He is perfect in goodness, He is holy.

disclaimer: these are just some random thoughts stirring in my head, spit out here. I don't pretend to be an expert, to have it all right.

- Brummy

Heroes

My life is not ordinary. No, not because I sometimes mask myself in bright orange skihats and call myself "The Viking" cleverly screaming about how I am going to defend North Canton of all evil (especially rival villains from Jackson and Lake.) Yes, most of my interactions are with those in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, but my days are not spent inside a school building.

And this particular Wednesday evening was filled with masked, caped, hooded, tight-wearing superheros. Of the middle school variety. A few dozen middle school students stepping up to the challenge of coming up with their best copy-cat or unique superhero character. And I was reminded why I love my life.

Most weeks go like this (minus the superhero-ness.) I am blessed to speak into the lives of numerous middle school students. I serve as the Director of Middle School at The Chapel in North Canton. Regardless of where you stand on religion, I am blessed to be able to come alongside parents in the stark county area and assist them in bringing up their children. Yes, I have a passion for Jesus, and because of that a passion to love these families and students.

Our superhero night was a time to be goofy, and it was. We threw marshmallows into plungers (an awesome game I thought up a few minutes before the event started. It could have totally failed, but was actually a hit.) We enjoyed random dance parties to this new trending "Interlude" dance (a hit coming from colleges which has now been tradition as part of our middle school gatherings each Sunday and mid-week.) And I was also blessed to just take time to be with these students.

Towards the end we talked about heroes. We all have them. I was humbled to hear some of them share the names of various leaders in our community they look up to, and was humbled to hear some say my name. And I realized what responsibility that is. In the midst of this goofy time of wearing tights (which I too wore, underneath my athletic shorts) dancing to crazy techno songs, and eating ice cream covered in way too many toppings, I have the unique opportunity to be a part of these students lives at this critical time.

Too often middle schoolers are overlooked as kids, which a part of them still are, but many are faced with huge villains in their lives. Villains such as the death of their pet, bullies at school, their parents divorce, trying to live up to the social images the world portrays (which leads to eating disorders, bodily self-harm, depression, etc.) And I realize that they need more heroes in their lives. They need other adults who will truly understand them for where they are, that they are facing very really, very big, and very scary villains. And I personally believe they need to meet the greatest hero of all time, who made the ultimate sacrifice for us all, out of love. Jesus. Who loves them amidst their villains, their struggles, and their goofy, cape wearing, voice cracking, awkward dancing, middle school natures.

So each week I enjoy times of goofyness. Times of epic nerf wars, and pottery painting sessions. And am reminded of how much these students are facing, and how deeply they need to know they are loved for who they are and where they are at right now.

Thank You - A Blog to Parents

For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Parents, I just wanted to write this post today to thank you. To thank you for allowing me to come alongside you. While much of my job is to build into youth, I am so grateful that you trust me and allow me to come alongside you. I want to write to encourage you all today to continue in what you are doing. Because you are doing something right. It is an honor and a privilege to come alongside you, to be able to assist in any way possible. I cannot possibly imagine what it is to be a father, to have a child of my own. And yet I am blessed to have a small role in watching your interactions, to learn from you, to be encouraged by you. I don't write to tell you what you are doing wrong, there may be other posts (and I know I will need posts reminding me what I am doing wrong.) But I wanted to write to encourage, to remind you that I am not here to replace you.


I hear the phrase, do your job so that you won't have one. While I would miss my role, I would love it if there honestly was no need for me, if students desired to spend their time with their parents, with their families. And they do. They cherish the moments they spend with you as a Father, with you as a Mother, more than the time they spend with me. That I can fade into the background so they can take that time with their family is a joy. That I can be an extra voice repeating the same advice you give is a joy, that in the end it is your guidance they follow, while perhaps not from your mouth. If that is how I assist, than thank you. It truly is a joy to be able to serve you. I have grown to love your children, and to love you as parents. I encourage you to continue to look to Christ, that we continue to look to Christ, in all we do.


Thank you again for the great privilege of allowing me to be a second voice in your child's life. I pray that you would let me know any way I can be of assistance to you now or in the future.


In Christ,


- Brummy

Why We Can't Overlook Middle Schoolers

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

I spent the weekend with over 150 middle school students, 30 some of them from the youth group I shepherd. I was blessed to have my group for the weekend consist of 6 middle school boys whom I was able to lead in the activities and lead in discussion after each session. And the weekend reminded me why the church needs those who are invested in the day to day lives of students in 6, 7, and 8 grade.

Going into the weekend I knew I had students who are in the midst of parents fighting every day. I knew I had students who wonder each day whether they are loved by their father or loved by their mother. I had students whom I knew were trying to figure out what is happening to them, why they are changing, what these emotions are they are feeling, why they aren't little kids anymore. And I had students who I knew desperately needed those to love them for who they are, for where they are, and to show them God's love.

There were 20 minutes on Saturday where the students were released to the camp to take time alone to spend with God. I walked and prayed as I watched the students curl up on rocks, sit on swings, on logs, alone in the cold and the dark. And yet not alone, embraced by the arms of a God who loves them. I saw students kneeling, saw students with hands raised and eyes lifted to heaven. And I prayed, I prayed. And I knew, God was moving.

As the minutes faded and my sixth graders entered the cabin, I began to ask them how their time went. And God revealed to me how He had moved. A student shared how he surrendered his life fully to Christ, began to share the realizations which God showed him, things in his life which don't line up with following God. That its not a Sunday thing, but an every day thing. We had deep conversations about how every girl is a daughter of God, and God is one father with a shotgun you don't want to mess with. I had another student break down in tears and got to talk and pray with him about his relationship with his dad. And I realized while I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a few of these middle schoolers, there are hundreds more in Stark County which we overlook. We look down on, we despise because they are young.

Was the weekend full of poop stories? Of farting? Of smelliness? Of a giant, freezing mud pit? YES! But going through this with them, allowing them to be themselves, meeting them where they are at. It is what Christ calls us to. And I sit and realize how blessed I am to work with this age, to be able to speak into their lives at this critical age. This is when they are beginning to make decision about the rest of their lives. Not at 15. Not at 16. Not at 18. Not at 25. Yes, they make decisions, but it begins NOW, at age 11 and 12. And they get it, if you give them a chance to speak, if you take a moment to listen. To giggle with them, to fart with them, to laugh about the time you pooped your pants. And to be messy beside them, to be real.

If we are willing to come alongside them as they are, laugh with them, cry with them, and listen, God will use us. God will use you. I have seen more evidence of those truly striving to live for Christ in my incoming sixth grade class this year then I often see in the adult community (not intending to be disrespectful) But when a sixth grader makes a realization they need to change things in their lives, you know God is active. And when they share that they know it will be hard, but that they have to. Well let me tell you. They are setting the example. Will we follow it? And will we follow the example of Christ? Will we be willing to get messy. Because these students need us now. At this age. High School is critical, but in my eyes, from my experience, if we wait until then, its often too late.

God has placed on my heart a passion for middle school ministry, for middle school students, for high school students, for the world. I pray we wouldn't overlook this age group though, just because we think they are smelly, they are kids, or they are annoying. Because they are very much in need of God's love, and to be loved. They are very much dealing with more than we could possibly imagine. And God is very much working and using them at their age. Because they are willing, often more willing than us. And that is beautiful.

- Brummy

Rescue the Weak and Needy

"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." They have neither knowledge nor understanding, they walk about in darkness; all the foundations of the earth are shaken. - Psalm 82:3-5 (ESV)

 It has been a week since I walked into a local middle school, and only the 3rd time I have been there. And yet, as I entered the halls I was walking and hear a cry of "Matthew!" I turn and find a 6th grade boy running towards me. I smile inside, that I was recognized and remembered from being spotted from a distance. This student walks along with me into the meeting area, and I find myself greeted by a few other students I had met, some only once others both days I was involved. I realize a sacrifice (but not really) of one extra hour on one extra day is worth it. To see students smile as I walk through, even though some are probably catching on that I am not the best tutor (what can I say, majoring in youth ministry means you tend to forget a lot of the "schooly" stuff) but its the conversations, the relationships which matter.

I had started a conversation with two guys last week about how they really don't need to greet each other by cussing each other out and talking about girls inappropriately. Now, this is a talk which is probably going to go towards, hey don't do that. I said, "Dudes, why do you have to do that?" last week. And yet, they asked when we would finish it? 5th graders, wanting to continue a conversation about why what they were doing wasn't cool or a good thing to do. And it breaks my heart, wondering how many times they just hear stop doing that and shut up, rather than talking through it. Someone who is willing to give them some attention, to help them be better in what they do. I understand teachers can only do so much, but I wonder what home life is like with mom and dad (or if mom or dad is even present.)

And I was reading the Psalms and was struck by Psalm 82, realizing that is my call to God this year. As I continue to build relationships, I see these kids just want to be loved, to know that someone is there for them. To rescue them, to be there to help in time of need, to deliver them. Because for many, they have no knowledge of a God who loves them, they don't understand why someone who isn't a teacher, isn't a parent would come and be there with them. But see, that is what shakes the earth. The earth was shaken by sin but sin was shaken by Christ, by the ultimate display of love he gave to a world unworthy of it. But because we are unworthy, it makes that love so much more beautiful, so much more pure.

I see these students, and my prayer is that they would not walk in darkness. And while my words may be limited, my actions are not. I am there to listen. They are already telling me secrets (that they have a girlfriend now) and it makes me smile. If it takes words for someone to see what I am about, then I'm not about it. A football player can't speak their skill, they embody it, it is seen through their actions. In the same way, I'm not a follower of Christ, I'm not in love with Him if only my lips speak it. My actions should make people say, hey, there's something different here.

This is my challenge: where are you at in life where you should be living daily as a light for Christ. If we aren't among the "darkness" how will it be made light? Don't just shine in the church. Don't separate loving God at church from the rest of your life. It shouldn't matter if you don't know what to say. Listen. Be there. Show it through your actions. Remember the one who died for you, who took nails in his hands, whose back was torn, flesh ripped out of, for you. That is sacrifice. And that is action speaking love. Surrender your pride, surrender your lust, surrender your time. We fill our lives with so much crap. And somehow we make a disconnect of God time and our time. We must stop that. Christ gave everything, all of Himself for us. Will we do the same? Let us stop making excuses. Let us stop just speaking it, let us do it. Every day. It's not easy, it never will be. But we must. There are those who don't understand, and unless we shine, unless we love them, how will they ever? So will I sacrifice my time for them? I will. Will you sacrifice your time for those who need it? For Christ? Only you can answer. But let us stop making excuses. We are to be the hands and feet of Christ, to be a presence, to love, to rescue the weak and the needy.

Lessons from David and Jonathon

The world around us has distorted the ideal male friendship, created it to be something which is "socially acceptable" but in all honesty, does nothing but tear down and create despair. We are told we must have this "macho" stereotype, and it is enforced through parents, teachers, leaders, etc. My son doesn't play sports! My son doesn't hunt! My son doesn't have a girlfriend!

And yet, let me take an example from the scripture to prove that we are missing a key part of the spectrum. Let me tell you, if anyone has seen the movie Troy or Gladiator, what seems more macho then a guy with swords cutting off the heads of the enemy. (Now, apologies to any pacifists, but I doubt that you would doubt Maximus' masculinity in Gladiator when he has continually conquered those of the arena.) Now let us look to the Old Testament, two men who were great warriors: David and Jonathon. David was one warrior. Take this example from 1 Samuel 30 -

And David struck them down from twilight until the evening of the next day, and not a man of them escaped, except four-hundred young men, who mounted camels and fled. David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken, and David rescued his two wives. Nothing was missing, whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken. David brought back all. (1 Samuel 30:17-19)

 Now, this is a man. A man who would avenge for his family, fighting from twilight till evening the next day. Thats a man. And yet, this same man, a man who is passionate for his family, a man who was just (read on in 1 Samuel 30 and see how he evenly divides and distributes what was regained both with those who fought and those who hadn't fought because they were too exhausted. Reminds me of a certain parable in Matthew 20 of the vineyard workers.)

And this man, David, had a companion closer than a brother and closer than a wife. (Now, let me stop and say check your mind. The world we live in assumes men in a close relationship must be sexual. I do not want this to be a debate about homosexual relationships, nor a debate as to whether David and Jonathon were in one. If you are that upset and must argue, let me take you out to coffee and we will talk. Just please don't argue on here.)

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathon was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathon loved him as his own soul. (1 Samuel 18:1)

 This verse hits me, and I believe it speaks to two things: Men need to have deep relationships with other men, where they can confide with what is going on. Not just a "lets go shoot things together" or "lets pump iron together." But a relationship where you can say "I love you." And not be ashamed to say it. This verse reminds me of another, the whole "Love your neighbor as yourself." David and Jonathon paint a picture of this, of a love which is different than the love of a man and a woman (which is often sexual, and yes is beautiful.) But this love, of two friends who have each others back, who can share what is going on, can support one another, this love is a beautiful love. That Jonathon loved David enough to be willing to give up his spot for the throne of Israel, because he cared for David and for God's will. That is love. That is beautiful. That Jonathon loved David as his own soul, that is beautiful. I look and see a desire for young men to have this sort of companionship. And yet, they are told its more important to have a girlfriend, to do manly things. Not to love another as you love yourself, unless she's a smokin' hot babe. There is something wrong with this.

"How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle! Jonathon lies slain on your high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathon; very pleasant have you been to me; your love was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women." (2 Samuel 1:25-26)

Jonathon was willing to set aside his seat on the throne, to risk his life to warn David. His soul was knit to David's, because he saw a friendship there closer than a brother, closer than a woman. The relationship wasn't based on one taking advantage of the other, but it was a true relationship of men, who loved and feared God, and thus cared for each other. I fear my words haven't done a well enough job to express this, but this picture it paints is beautiful. I pray that young men would not be afraid to have this deep relationship, to see the beauty in a friendship which is not shallow, which is not more concerned for self-gain or appearance, but realizing what depth is achieved through a relationship where you can be open, a relationship where when that friend dies, your soul is torn. Not because they can't update your facebook, but because you look and see, they were willing to sacrifice for you, that you know without a doubt, he loved me as much as he loved himself, and that is beautiful. He loved me with the love of Christ, and that is beautiful.

- Brummy

What We Need

Today began with worries of how I would make it in to work. I have been without a car of my own since Thursday. But God provides.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 4:19 (ESV)

Funny how true this has been. I was blessed to be able to use a car of a church members this weekend, and today I was picked up as I walked down Main Street in North Canton by another church member and dropped at the church. I was then able to find a ride later to a local middle school where I began tutoring. As I walked up, the students were all rushing to reach their buses and I grinned as my heart beat in my chest, a bit nervous. It was, after all, my "first day" at school. After being sent three different places I stumbled upon about 60 students sitting in the theater. I smiled as after being introduced a few kids introduced themselves, most just asking where I went to school, if I was in my teens (ooh yah I still look young even with a beard...er maybe because they know I can't grow one!) My heart instantly went out to all the students, and I knew just from being there a few minutes these next weeks through May would be amazing.

As I walked down through the school with the students, I engaged in light conversation by many, helped a few 5th grade girls know it was ok to stay with the line of students, even though we were walking through the boys locker room. Oh the fears of an adolescent. Once in the room, kids talked loudly as they found chairs and I realized it was myself and another school staff member trying to work and control these students. And I couldn't be happier, and yet more sad. As I looked I called out in my head, guessing what each student's story was. I could tell those who were from broken homes, those who had no friends, those who I knew desperately tried to fit in, those who wanted to be seen as "men" because it was important for them to be tough. I guess its my gift, I can usually tell what someone is going through, at least have a pretty good idea. And it was great as the students slowly opened up. Thats what's great about my job, and working with middle school students. They get around to liking you pretty quick.

And I sat and realized how blessed I am, and just why God has placed me here in North Canton. Its sad to see how many churches are in the area, and yet as I have begun to seek out relationships in the community, I wonder how many are involved outside their walls? (And I do not at all mean this to be a blog against those, I love the local church leaders here. I am blessed to be a part of a great church community.) But I stop and say, look at the need here. Look at these kids who just need someone to love them. Do we even understand the reason many of these students act out is because at home they have no attention? At home they are over-looked. When a teacher has to ask what a mothers last name is now, what does it say about the male figures in their lives? And I wonder and pray, will our generation fall into the same pattern.

And I stop and realize I am so amazingly blessed to be able to spend time with these students. I'm not looking to say anything to them. I want to listen, to know them. They don't need anyone else to tell them what to do. They have enough people telling them to do things, but no one listening to them, helping them sort through, and showing them what to do.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

- 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

I wonder where we forget passages like this? Our words have truth when there are actions behind them reflecting and speaking for them. If I'm truly about Christ, I will be there to listen to these students. I will put up with their little antics because, lets face it: they aren't adults yet. But sadly, they are forced to deal with adult situations. I wonder how many of these students have been told "I Love You." by any adult. And yet, I could probably count (with a calculator) how many times they have been told "Don't do that." It's easier to tell them not to do something, than for someone to actually care and listen. And, sometimes, just let them be kids.

I am excited for this year. I am excited for my students I see every Sunday. I am excited for these new students I will be in contact with every week. Because for me, I am not called to sit behind the walls of a church office. I am not called to be a light in a church office. (Well, its not the extent of it) I am called to be in the community. People don't want to hear us talk about God, don't want to just see us walk into a church. They want to see us be active among them, where they are at.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

- Matthew 9:36

I see many sheep who are without a shepherd. I am beginning to see God has placed me here to watch over these students. To be a light for Him here in this community, in these schools. To these families. So that even if they haven't heard someone say "I Love You" they would know, there is one greater than any on this earth who so desperately wants you to know "I LOVE YOU."

Listen

So there's this new show on MTV called "Skins" which seems to be stirring up a lot of controversy. I am sure there will be much backlash from the conservatives, but it sparked my interest because our focus is most likely "How can they show that?" instead of "Why is it like that?" The sad truth is we have a blind eye.

Let me start by saying I have not watched an episode yet, but I am speaking from articles I have read regarding the content. I think we would all like to believe that this content is only seen in television. But in reality, it is what is facing the generation of teenagers today. While I do not at all endorse this content, I think it does open our eyes to what is going on.

One of the cast spoke on the show and its content:

Sofia, 18, defends the show, saying, "It's what teens are doing. It's the way teenagers believe, I think, especially you know in certain situations when you come from home lives where your parents don't really support you or really listen to you. That's what most of these kids are going through."

(http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/21/sofia-black-delia-skins-naughty-but-nice-with-rob/)

I would like to not talk to my middle school students in the sixth grade about these issues of drugs, alcohol, and sex. I would like to think there is no way these kids would be dealing with this. But the fact is, I can't turn a blind eye and pretend it is not going on. While we can blame shows such as 'Skins' for exposing a young generation, we can also allow it to open our eyes to a generation that is crying out. In a world where facebook, texting, and media rules, a generation is crying out in pain.

We can't expect to tell them in church "Don't do this, don't do this." What are we giving them? They are searching for meaning, for affirmation. A church who looks at many and sees them as problems rather than those hurting. Rebelling because they are misunderstood. They don't want to be seen as potheads, the girl who sleeps around. They need to be loved, to be truly loved. They need someone to listen to them. To just take time to hear them, regardless of what they are doing. Someone they can confide in who won't look at them as a "project to be fixed."

I think of a student I knew whose perception of the church was to live by the ten commandments. If her friends were not living this way, her family constantly put her down and told her to give up this company. She had no voice. Where were those who were "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry?" (James 1:19)

Do we take the time to listen to a generation that is hurting? Are we slow to speak, trying to get our word in? Are we slow to become angry if they don't get it right away?


My heart breaks for this generation. I am placed where I am because I had a problem with the church and how it was dealing and approaching youth. My plea is that God uses me to make a change, to restore the church to a point of listening, to be an ear and to be arms to hold a hurting generation. If I don't listen, I can't understand. If I am not slow to speak, it is me trying to fix someone, instead of God. If I am quick to become angry, I have no grace. I am not loving as I should be. Because I hear someone out does not mean I condone what they do. But scaring someone, forcing someone into change is not true change. Loving them and giving them something to strive for more than what they already have, that is true change.

My prayer for this year is that I would use opportunities such as 'Skins' to reach and understand a generation desperately in need of Christ. I pray I take the time to stop and listen, rather then jump and use my own (foolish, and ineffective) power in a weak attempt to change. Change comes through Christ, through love.

- Brummy