Change Must Come...

And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."

It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.

It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?

Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?

There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.

Well, God isn't calling me to.

Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?

Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."

Unescapable

Life is a journey. Each of us walks their own path. And often its easy to fall into the trap of looking at the person next to you, wishing in part you had their life. And yet, deep inside, when we are honest, we know the life God has called us to. Yes, to himself. But to some, the path is different than others.

Living a life for Christ can take a toll, nothing compared to what Christ suffered upon the cross for us. But I have yet to learn how to disconnect. And perhaps that is good. How do I disconnect from knowing the pains of students who sit at home this evening feeling unloved and unwanted? How do I laugh with friends knowing the student who has no friends to laugh with? How do I so easily forget the student who no longer has a father to speak to, to hug, to laugh, to cry with on this earth? All I can do is fall on my knees in surrender to my savior, asking why me? What do I have to offer? Nothing but Christ. But because of the life He has called me to lead, I cannot disconnect.

Many will not know what its like. I can't use words to describe. I can't explain why. And I can't change this life I am called to. I can't do it your way, I am only me as God has created me to be. And whole-heartedly in love I serve, because of what God has done for me. I cannot explain this unescapable love. And I cannot disconnect showing that love to these students, I can't turn off this burning passion within me, overflowing from my God and my King.

And so through it all I will persevere. Through the feelings of loneliness and pain, knowing that God is here, God is at work, God is present, whether I feel Him or not. Whether I sense Him or not.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

- Brummy