Rethinking...Why Relationships (And Fun) Are So Key

Yesterday, I picked up a few 6th graders after school and we all went to Dairy Queen. Now - it is about 20 degrees outside, first day of spring - but that didn't stop us. And while we were there a few things hit me - I have been especially processing these past few weeks how we do middle school ministry at my church (The Chapel in North Canton) and whether it is the most effective way - or whether we need to change a few things to be most effective at discipling these students in our community. I realized two things yesterday.

1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key

One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.

2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun

Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!

I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan." 

I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.

- Brummy

Love

A young boy once sat quietly in a corner of a room. Inside him were a million thoughts and a million voices, every bit of him screamed for help. And yet, as he sat within the church, he feared to share what he so desperately sought escape from. Because if people knew what he dealt with, what he as a broken individual wrestled with, he feared they would not give hope. Rather, they would focus on how messed up he was, how sick, how filthy. He understood Christ and grace to be a once then perfect thing. So he remained quiet.

How many more sit quietly, afraid to seek healing because they fear judgement. Healing from the hurt of broken families, from the grips of addiction to pornography, to the struggle of same-sex attraction, to drugs, to vanity, to self-image. Oh how my soul longs for those who would sit and listen, sit and love. Those who do or don't are each in the same boat, just as unworthy.

Those who have never struggled with addiction are not better people.
Those who have never lusted are not better people.
Those who have never lied are not better people.
Those who do not have same-sex attraction are not better people.
Those who have not abused are not better people.
Because each and every one of us are in need of God's grace each and every day.

There are no simple answers. I cannot tell you why you struggle with this. Truth is we all have struggles. Some are easier seen, and our fallen, human tendencies often make others point out things uncomfortable to them, point out things so that the spotlight is off them. It breaks my heart that we get so upset over defining marriage, and yet how many within the church struggle within their marriages, how many students do I have from broken homes. I do not want this to be a debate, but rather a cry. A cry from my heart to seek Christ first and foremost.

If you are abused or abuser, you have hope that is offered in Christ.
If you are divorced or divorcer, you have hope that is found only in Christ.
If you are addicted, you have freedom in Christ.
If you are broken or breaking, you have redemption in Christ.
If you are attracted to men, or if you are attracted to women, there is one to whom each of us was created to be in relationship with. It took me many long years to realize a part of my heart could only be filled by my God and my savior.

Run to this love. Know this love. Whomever you are, wherever you are in life, run to God. My life is witness to His grace, to His power, to His love. And its for you, and for me.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

Praise

I praise God for this past year.

I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.

I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.

I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.

I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.

I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.

I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.

I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.

I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.

I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.

The New Reality of Middle School

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)

I think some of us have lost grip on just what it means to be in middle school. Some of those reading this may have a child in middle school, but I am not sure all of us are awake and aware to the reality of what it means to be in middle school. In my personal opinion, this is possibly the most important time in a person's life. It is a time of transition, one in which they are beginning to make decisions which will impact them for the rest of their lives, while still being in a phase of being shapeable and being impacted by others. One thing is certain: a middle schooler is no longer a child. 

To be honest with you, these are some of the things our students are going through right now, either because they wrote them on prayer cards, because they have told me, or because I have witnessed them from being "on their turf" in the schools on a monthly/weekly basis.

• Wondering if friends & family accept them
• Major anxiety
• Bullies
• Dealing with family's divorce
• Father not being at home and causing stress
• Loss of Father
• Loss of grandparents
• Hurting for sister who "feels insignificant and un-loved"
• Sexual and vulgar thoughts, feeling hopeless to keep mind clean from them
• Friends at school leaving them out and talking about student behind back
• Cutting
• Suicidal thoughts
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Anger
• Drugs

Too often I see middle schoolers being stereotyped into "annoying, frustrating" who can't have spiritual conversations. They get tossed into this category, and sadly, it sickens me. Many would rather invest in high school students who can "hold a mature conversation, about deep spiritual things." This truly breaks my heart. Because honestly, if there are not those willing to step in now, there are many for whom it will be too late by high school. (Not that God doesn't work, but in my life experience, by freshman year, I witnessed my friends already set on paths which they have followed for the most part to this day. The most critical time was middle school.) Middle school was when my struggles began, and had truly set in by freshman year.

The new reality is this - middle schoolers deal with even more than I ever imagined dealing with, that I am certain you ever imagined dealing with. Do not overlook these students, deeply loved by God. Don't see them just as annoying, as immature. We cannot imagine what most of them go through. And each and every one is desperately in need of the love of Christ.

- Brummy

Unescapable

Life is a journey. Each of us walks their own path. And often its easy to fall into the trap of looking at the person next to you, wishing in part you had their life. And yet, deep inside, when we are honest, we know the life God has called us to. Yes, to himself. But to some, the path is different than others.

Living a life for Christ can take a toll, nothing compared to what Christ suffered upon the cross for us. But I have yet to learn how to disconnect. And perhaps that is good. How do I disconnect from knowing the pains of students who sit at home this evening feeling unloved and unwanted? How do I laugh with friends knowing the student who has no friends to laugh with? How do I so easily forget the student who no longer has a father to speak to, to hug, to laugh, to cry with on this earth? All I can do is fall on my knees in surrender to my savior, asking why me? What do I have to offer? Nothing but Christ. But because of the life He has called me to lead, I cannot disconnect.

Many will not know what its like. I can't use words to describe. I can't explain why. And I can't change this life I am called to. I can't do it your way, I am only me as God has created me to be. And whole-heartedly in love I serve, because of what God has done for me. I cannot explain this unescapable love. And I cannot disconnect showing that love to these students, I can't turn off this burning passion within me, overflowing from my God and my King.

And so through it all I will persevere. Through the feelings of loneliness and pain, knowing that God is here, God is at work, God is present, whether I feel Him or not. Whether I sense Him or not.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

- Brummy

Don't Lose Heart

¹⁶ So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV)

Recently its been difficult for me to see past current circumstances to understand what God is doing. Being honest, I have experienced a very few difficult months, and it is tough even now to consider it "light momentary afflication." Part of me wants to scream out "HOW IS ANY OF THIS LIGHT?" It feels like the weight of a thousand elephants upon my shoulders. But taking a deep breath, I step away from myself and realize, in honesty, its nothing. Nothing compared to what it could be and nothing compared to what I've made it.

But this passage is beautiful, reminding me that this perceived huge weight will be replaced with an even bigger weight - not of trial but of GLORY. How beautiful is this promise God gives us. It will be beyond all comparison. I cannot see it, all I can see are the difficulties in front of me. Difficulties screaming at me "You can't make it. You are a failure. You won't last." But this promise, this truth of God reminds me of what is to come - to those who hope in Him. Glory. Eternal. These trials will pass. The pain felt from death of loved ones, from the words spat like poison, from whatever situation arises - it will not compare to the glory which is to be revealed. The eternal glory, on that beautiful day when there will be no more crying nor pain, and Jesus will wipe every tear from our eyes. So I press forward, and encourage you to press forward. Hope in God. Do not lose heart! We may feel as though we are being wasted away, but God renews us each day - every day is a new day. Continue in Him. You are loved, you are valued, and this too shall pass.

- Brummy

Grace

Then the Lord raised up judges, who saved them out of the hand of those who plundered them. Yet they did not listen to their judges, for they whored after other gods and bowed down to them. They soon turned aside from the way in which their fathers had walked, who had obeyed the commandments of the Lord, and they did not do so. Whenever the Lord raised up judges for them, the Lord was with the judge, and he saved them from the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge. For the Lordwas moved to pity by their groaning because of those who afflicted and oppressed them. - Judges 2:16-18

It crazy to think how throughout the entire Bible, God's grace continues strong. This passage right in hear in judges speaks to God's grace - continually extended even when the people continued to abandon God, in fact falling worse and worse than those before them. And yet God continually raised up judges, being with the judges, and drawing His people out of their oppression. Throughout the Bible we see story after story of God's love and grace, true there are consequences for the sinful actions, but continually God spares or lessens, drawing His people back to Him. And boy, am I thankful for that.

I continually need reminded that God's grace is new every day - not so that I may sin, but so that I know, in the midst of my downfalls, God continually draws me back to him. I reflect and look at the likes of David, a man after God's own heart, and just how deep his failures were. I look at Paul, a man who according to all standards of men, would never be used by God. And yet God chose them, chose tax collectors, chose prostitutes, and I rejoice, knowing that God can and has used the likes of me. I can't explain it, I don't deserve it. But I rejoice that God is "the same yesterday, today, and forever." And that while my actions have consequences I am redeemed and made new, that I wash my feet every day from the dirt which accumulated, knowing my whole self has been washed in the blood of Christ. And I take a deep breath, and take the new day God has given me.

Praise God for His grace and mercy, extended daily. Let us press forward, relying on God for strength, resisting, yet knowing that when we fall, Christ picks us back up again. Let us not make light His grace, but let us remember each day is a new day.

- Brummy

Where do you turn in times of trouble?

"I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

Lets all admit it: life is a mess sometimes. We have trouble, and lots of it. There are a lot of us who are hurting right now. Things have been said, we seem to be stuck in cyclical habits, our families seem like they are falling apart. We are tore down on every side, so where do we turn to? For some of us, we feel hopeless and lost. But let me tell you: you only feel this way if you look to the world for a solution.

This past week has been a huge challenge for me, but I must constantly remind myself that the only place to turn to is Jesus. His words here in John 16 must be what I cling to: that he has overcome the world. Let me challenge you this: if you are angry, if you are hurting, if you are lost, nothing the world can offer will fix it.

You won't find healing in drugs.
You won't find healing in porn.
You won't find healing in sex.
You won't find healing in drinking your problems away.
You won't find healing in money.
You won't find healing in a job, a profession.
You won't find healing in a video game, music, or anything else.


Apart from Christ - things will not get better. Is it a guarantee that in Christ things will be better? No. But this I can tell you:

sex, smoking, drinking, porn, money, music, video games, none of these filled me. none of these fixed me. none of these healed me. none of these gave me purpose.


And in my lowest point, God met me, the arms of Christ embraced me, and His peace was set upon me. A peace which God continues to place over me, that even when I am stressed, I look to him. Knowing I can rest in the fact He has overcome the world.

Friends, family, whoever is reading: know this - God has overcome the world. He desires an intimate and personal relationship with you. Know that whether someone from in the church or outside has hurt you, whether you feel like because of what you have done, you cannot be loved - Christ came not to condemn the world but to save it. To buy you back, to call you His own. To give you a peace, not a happiness, not a carefreeness, but knowing that in times of trouble, you and I can rest in Him.

I love you all dearly, and whatever you feel, think, don't think about God - it will never change this: He loves you, He died for you, and He desires to call you His own. You can run, but His love is unrelenting. Take heart - He has overcome the world.

- Brummy