Yesterday, I picked up a few 6th graders after school and we all went to Dairy Queen. Now - it is about 20 degrees outside, first day of spring - but that didn't stop us. And while we were there a few things hit me - I have been especially processing these past few weeks how we do middle school ministry at my church (The Chapel in North Canton) and whether it is the most effective way - or whether we need to change a few things to be most effective at discipling these students in our community. I realized two things yesterday.
1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key
One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.
2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun
Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!
I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan."
I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.
- Brummy
Showing posts with label 6th grade. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 6th grade. Show all posts
Friday, March 22, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Rethinking...The In-between (They Aren't Kids...)
This one will hurt. A little. But here is the reality - and its one I embrace but I fear many parents do not.
Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.
Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.
All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")
I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.
The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.
The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.
In Christ,
Brummy
Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.
Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.
All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")
I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.
The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.
The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.
In Christ,
Brummy
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