There is something amazing that happens with relationships over time. It's this natural thing which allows no shortcuts but which God uses magnificently for His glory. Being in my fifth year of ministry at The Chapel, this is my third year in partnership with the local middle schools - and there is something beautiful about that.
There were often times I prayed and wanted something in that moment that I am just beginning to glimpse. And so I would like to share today three words of advice for those looking to partner with their local schools.
1. Pray. And accept whatever answer.
I prayed, knowing what I wanted, but willing to accept what I got. At the beginning of my first year I asked God to open doors in local schools and close others - that He would lead and I would follow. And that is what happened - schools I thought would allow me to come alongside were ones who said "no" whereas the schools I received the most resistance from are now schools in which I have deep relationships with principals, faculty, and students. God works in mysterious ways.
2. Be ok knowing your culture is different from my culture and their culture. But there is one common thread...
A lot of times there is really just nothing you can do. Most schools won't allow you to come in and eat at lunch. Most schools won't allow you to come in and chaperone a school dance. Most schools won't...
But - you can do something even better. I began to walk my dog past a local middle school daily and integrate the school - faces I had seen, teachers I knew, students who I know were hurting - and prayed for them as I walked. Prayer is something always needed and that regardless of location - you can always do.
3. Trust God
Hopefully this is a given - but trust God. God will do things you never expected and beyond what you could imagine. The reality is that when God moves - he moves. There may be times where what you wanted or expected are not the reality - and that is ok. I have learned that with time, remaining faithful, God will do things I never even thought of. He will use me in crazy ways - and it is beautiful. There may be dreams I had that never come to fruition - but there are other things the Lord sweeps me into which make me set aside all disappointment I may have had.
I never dreamed I would be able to walk into a cafeteria as a norm - that students would actually wonder and ask why I hadn't been there in awhile. I never realized the opportunity I would have to reach those working day after day with students - to encourage them and come alongside them.
Pray. Be ok with whatever situation. And trust God.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
ReThink: Discipling Students vs Volunteering (Pt 2)
In my first post, I looked at Matthew 4 and how Jesus call to follow isn't dependent upon our qualifications but is often a "lack of" and doesn't make sense. Today I want to look at the aspect of success - as a volunteer, there is an expectation on me to do something and get a result. As a disciple the expectation is simple - love Jesus and follow Him.
Let me clarify a little - if I am teaching a class there is a lot of weight upon myself to be sure that those in the class walk out of there knowing something. To carry that weight in the church is unhealthy. Jesus taught with parables - which were not understood by most. This frustrated the disciples, who asked Jesus why he spoke in parables in Matthew 13.
Jesus response is one we may not like - it is the reality. There are those who will respond and understand and hunger for the truth and there are those who will continually hear and see and not understand or desire this truth. If we go back to the parable told directly before this - the parable of the soil, we understand our role better.
That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. 2 And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3 And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, 6 but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8 Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears, let him hear.” - Matthew 13
We must grasp that our role is to sow - plain and simple. We are not responsible for the results. Do we do all we can to help that seed grow? Yes. Take a look at 1 Corinthians 3 where Paul adresses this:
What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. - 1 Corinthians 3
We cannot carry the weight of a person responding to the truth of the Gospel. We can plant seeds, water seeds - but it is not our responsibility for the growth.
A teacher feels the weight if their class doesn't get it. They must have done something wrong. But in discipling and investing in others - there will be some who are just bad soil. The truth will be present but not seen or heard by them, they will lack understanding. And what a weight is lifted from us when we realize our role isn't to save people - for we cannot save people. Our goal isn't to make people understand - we can't make people understand. We can present the truth, love on them, and trust God.
Let me clarify a little - if I am teaching a class there is a lot of weight upon myself to be sure that those in the class walk out of there knowing something. To carry that weight in the church is unhealthy. Jesus taught with parables - which were not understood by most. This frustrated the disciples, who asked Jesus why he spoke in parables in Matthew 13.
Jesus response is one we may not like - it is the reality. There are those who will respond and understand and hunger for the truth and there are those who will continually hear and see and not understand or desire this truth. If we go back to the parable told directly before this - the parable of the soil, we understand our role better.
That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. 2 And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3 And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, 6 but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8 Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears, let him hear.” - Matthew 13
We must grasp that our role is to sow - plain and simple. We are not responsible for the results. Do we do all we can to help that seed grow? Yes. Take a look at 1 Corinthians 3 where Paul adresses this:
What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. - 1 Corinthians 3
We cannot carry the weight of a person responding to the truth of the Gospel. We can plant seeds, water seeds - but it is not our responsibility for the growth.
A teacher feels the weight if their class doesn't get it. They must have done something wrong. But in discipling and investing in others - there will be some who are just bad soil. The truth will be present but not seen or heard by them, they will lack understanding. And what a weight is lifted from us when we realize our role isn't to save people - for we cannot save people. Our goal isn't to make people understand - we can't make people understand. We can present the truth, love on them, and trust God.
Friday, October 11, 2013
ReThink: Discipling Students vs Volunteering (Pt 1)
"While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him." - Matthew 4:18-22 (ESV)
Just wanted to share a few brief thoughts on rethinking our roles in student ministry for those who would be lay-leaders. What would it look like if we shifted from volunteering to discipling? Today I am going to just look at the personal aspects - what it means for us.
1. It means we are drawn out of comfort, what we have known, and where we like to be into something we are not comfortable with, we don't know, and may not like to be.
The first disciples Jesus called were fishermen - they knew how to catch fish. They weren't scholars, they weren't orators, and they probably weren't good people persons. But what did Jesus do? He said come follow me.
Get up an leave your comfort, leave what you are good at, leave your family, and come follow me.
When we volunteer it is usually for something we know a little bit about, enjoy doing, and a cause we deem worthy of our time.
Jesus says follow me - not because we are somehow skilled in a way, not because we have certain qualifications - but in spite of all that.
If we truly love Jesus we will follow Him and the call to make disciples. But we must understand that it is a call to discomfort, weakness, and at times frustration. It won't fit our schedule - it will at times be inconvenient. But it will be so worthwhile. To follow our Savior, abandoning all that the world would say is rational and living a life whole-heartedly for Him - can you imagine? Those actions alone - being able to with your life mirror to a student one who is simply following - who isn't here because they think are good with words, because they think they have a really good understanding of God, who is simply the most unlikely candidate. And yet says - because I am following Jesus, because of what He has done in my life - I will invest in yours. That is radical. To say - its not dependent on some guy who went to bible college and has a degree - but in the mom or grandpa or college student who is in no way "qualified" yet in every way called by Jesus to disciple and love on these students.
Just wanted to share a few brief thoughts on rethinking our roles in student ministry for those who would be lay-leaders. What would it look like if we shifted from volunteering to discipling? Today I am going to just look at the personal aspects - what it means for us.
1. It means we are drawn out of comfort, what we have known, and where we like to be into something we are not comfortable with, we don't know, and may not like to be.
The first disciples Jesus called were fishermen - they knew how to catch fish. They weren't scholars, they weren't orators, and they probably weren't good people persons. But what did Jesus do? He said come follow me.
Get up an leave your comfort, leave what you are good at, leave your family, and come follow me.
When we volunteer it is usually for something we know a little bit about, enjoy doing, and a cause we deem worthy of our time.
Jesus says follow me - not because we are somehow skilled in a way, not because we have certain qualifications - but in spite of all that.
If we truly love Jesus we will follow Him and the call to make disciples. But we must understand that it is a call to discomfort, weakness, and at times frustration. It won't fit our schedule - it will at times be inconvenient. But it will be so worthwhile. To follow our Savior, abandoning all that the world would say is rational and living a life whole-heartedly for Him - can you imagine? Those actions alone - being able to with your life mirror to a student one who is simply following - who isn't here because they think are good with words, because they think they have a really good understanding of God, who is simply the most unlikely candidate. And yet says - because I am following Jesus, because of what He has done in my life - I will invest in yours. That is radical. To say - its not dependent on some guy who went to bible college and has a degree - but in the mom or grandpa or college student who is in no way "qualified" yet in every way called by Jesus to disciple and love on these students.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
What I Wish I'd Known Going Into Ministry...
I wish I'd known that its not just "senior pastors" who deal with everything...
I never dreamed that I'd do my first funeral a year into full-time ministry. I didn't know how to handle a phone call that one of my student's dad suddenly died, I didn't know what to say going into the home, I didn't know what to do when asked to perform the funeral. They don't teach you that (not really) in school. I was still just thinking about students and doing cool events and awesome worship nights. I wasn't prepared for the reality of life - and death - and grappling with pain and God and doubt and questions.
I wish I'd known the church often needs as much grace as anyone...
I realized that I went to church in middle and high school more for friends than for Jesus...but I often assumed it was just students and didn't realize there are a lot of people, adults included, who are at the church who want their cookie-cutter ideology - and tend to desire things to fit their schedule. I didn't realize the toll it takes trying to deal with fifty some students plus their parents - especially being a people pleaser. It's really hard to not worry about pleasing people - especially when those people are seeking to follow Jesus - but it seems like you walk two separate roads.
I wish I'd known ministry was lonely...
I think I sort of figured, but I didn't truly realize. Even in a staff I truly love - no one rejoices the same as I do, no one hurts for the same hurts as much as I do - and yes, Jesus never leaves nor forsakes, sometimes you still just feel and overwhelming aloneness - which must be surrendered to Christ every time.
I wish I'd known how much more I would struggle...
Going into ministry at many times hasn't made my walk easier - in fact its been way more difficult. Probably because I am "serving God full-time" whatever that means. And know that everyone knows I work for the church - theres no going back. Every part of me is being scrutinized - whether I want my life to be or not.
And despite these...despite moments I want to quit...there is none other than Christ who has compelled me to stay. Because in spite of this all - I know the joy that has been this season of life, and the joys and pains and struggles to come.
"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10
I never dreamed that I'd do my first funeral a year into full-time ministry. I didn't know how to handle a phone call that one of my student's dad suddenly died, I didn't know what to say going into the home, I didn't know what to do when asked to perform the funeral. They don't teach you that (not really) in school. I was still just thinking about students and doing cool events and awesome worship nights. I wasn't prepared for the reality of life - and death - and grappling with pain and God and doubt and questions.
I wish I'd known the church often needs as much grace as anyone...
I realized that I went to church in middle and high school more for friends than for Jesus...but I often assumed it was just students and didn't realize there are a lot of people, adults included, who are at the church who want their cookie-cutter ideology - and tend to desire things to fit their schedule. I didn't realize the toll it takes trying to deal with fifty some students plus their parents - especially being a people pleaser. It's really hard to not worry about pleasing people - especially when those people are seeking to follow Jesus - but it seems like you walk two separate roads.
I wish I'd known ministry was lonely...
I think I sort of figured, but I didn't truly realize. Even in a staff I truly love - no one rejoices the same as I do, no one hurts for the same hurts as much as I do - and yes, Jesus never leaves nor forsakes, sometimes you still just feel and overwhelming aloneness - which must be surrendered to Christ every time.
I wish I'd known how much more I would struggle...
Going into ministry at many times hasn't made my walk easier - in fact its been way more difficult. Probably because I am "serving God full-time" whatever that means. And know that everyone knows I work for the church - theres no going back. Every part of me is being scrutinized - whether I want my life to be or not.
And despite these...despite moments I want to quit...there is none other than Christ who has compelled me to stay. Because in spite of this all - I know the joy that has been this season of life, and the joys and pains and struggles to come.
"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10
Monday, May 20, 2013
What Are We Willing To Bear?
I'm in a season where I am going to let a lot of people down. I have been on a crazy journey this past year - being thrown into a leadership position I would say I wasn't adequately prepared for, learning much about perseverance the hard way, and that the reality is I am always prone to let others down - but more so now.
The beauty of it all is I've been forced to embrace the reality its not about me - because I am merely a man, and there will be lots of expectations I can never meet. The beauty of this is grace - because I begged and pleaded, cried out that there would be an easy way out - but I was showered with God's grace and mercy. And because of His faithfulness, I remained faithful. Every inch of my flesh said throw up your hands and quit - but I heard a constant still reminding me who I belonged to.
I was reminded every day why I must continue on - as I walked through the halls of the local schools and saw students who had never experienced the loving grace and just mercy of God. I often wish for a moment that some could see what I see every day - that I could share some stories of how God has moved.
For those who have given up hope this past year - who would deem nothing accomplished - I hope they know God has worked amazingly. I have seen him transform the lives of high school students. I have seen such doors open in the lives of middle school students.
And yet I must settle that these little moments for some will never be content - some will always carry a restlessness - desiring something else.
So I ask myself - every day - what is my focus? It must remain on God apart from any other circumstance - not about the number of conversations, not about the number of students in chairs, not about the programs we offer (or don't offer) but only God. At the end of the day that is my focus - with Christ at center, everything else falls into place.
Without Jesus it doesn't matter what bible study we have.
Without Jesus, it doesn't matter how much time I read.
Without Jesus, it doesn't matter how many songs I song.
Without Jesus - I would have collapsed this past year. I would have broken underneath the weight I felt, drowned in the sleepless, bitter, tear-filled nights - but the cross reminds me that I no longer have to fear unrealistic expectations of the church, of the community, of my mind, of the world. At the end of the day - it is Christ, and Christ alone.
The beauty of it all is I've been forced to embrace the reality its not about me - because I am merely a man, and there will be lots of expectations I can never meet. The beauty of this is grace - because I begged and pleaded, cried out that there would be an easy way out - but I was showered with God's grace and mercy. And because of His faithfulness, I remained faithful. Every inch of my flesh said throw up your hands and quit - but I heard a constant still reminding me who I belonged to.
I was reminded every day why I must continue on - as I walked through the halls of the local schools and saw students who had never experienced the loving grace and just mercy of God. I often wish for a moment that some could see what I see every day - that I could share some stories of how God has moved.
For those who have given up hope this past year - who would deem nothing accomplished - I hope they know God has worked amazingly. I have seen him transform the lives of high school students. I have seen such doors open in the lives of middle school students.
And yet I must settle that these little moments for some will never be content - some will always carry a restlessness - desiring something else.
So I ask myself - every day - what is my focus? It must remain on God apart from any other circumstance - not about the number of conversations, not about the number of students in chairs, not about the programs we offer (or don't offer) but only God. At the end of the day that is my focus - with Christ at center, everything else falls into place.
Without Jesus it doesn't matter what bible study we have.
Without Jesus, it doesn't matter how much time I read.
Without Jesus, it doesn't matter how many songs I song.
Without Jesus - I would have collapsed this past year. I would have broken underneath the weight I felt, drowned in the sleepless, bitter, tear-filled nights - but the cross reminds me that I no longer have to fear unrealistic expectations of the church, of the community, of my mind, of the world. At the end of the day - it is Christ, and Christ alone.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Rethinking...Why Relationships (And Fun) Are So Key
Yesterday, I picked up a few 6th graders after school and we all went to Dairy Queen. Now - it is about 20 degrees outside, first day of spring - but that didn't stop us. And while we were there a few things hit me - I have been especially processing these past few weeks how we do middle school ministry at my church (The Chapel in North Canton) and whether it is the most effective way - or whether we need to change a few things to be most effective at discipling these students in our community. I realized two things yesterday.
1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key
One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.
2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun
Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!
I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan."
I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.
- Brummy
1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key
One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.
2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun
Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!
I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan."
I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.
- Brummy
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Rethinking...The In-between (They Aren't Kids...)
This one will hurt. A little. But here is the reality - and its one I embrace but I fear many parents do not.
Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.
Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.
All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")
I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.
The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.
The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.
In Christ,
Brummy
Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.
Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.
All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")
I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.
The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.
The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.
In Christ,
Brummy
Monday, March 18, 2013
Rethinking...Outside the "Church" Times
I never met Jesus in a classroom. I never really met Jesus through a sermon. I met Jesus through the relationships I had with people - with those who really modeled to me Jesus unconditional love. And the best learning experiences I had were times they sat with me over coffee or a burger and really reminded me of that love - that I was made for more than what I was doing now, that nothing I was trying to do would satisfy because I wasn't made for it.
Do people learn from sermons? Yes. Do people learn in a classroom? Yes. But at the heart of all of this - the most impactful sermons have been from those whom I have a deep relationship with - whom I know deeply love and I have seen live that love. The most meaningful classroom learning experiences have been with those whom I have a relationship with - who cared about me beyond just me learning what they were trying to teach.
And this my friends - is why every hour outside of the Sunday morning or Wednesday night environment counts. Do they learn here? Yes. Do they also learn more from watching and living with you outside these times? Possibly. I did.
That in the middle of a Call of Duty match (because of how middle school minds work) you hear a 7th grader say "I got [friend's name] to read 1 Corinthians with me today. He may come to church with me sometime soon too."
And that, my friends, is beautiful. Let's get outside this box - God isn't confined to a building, things aren't inherently "Christian" and non-Christian. I had a better conversation with this student about God while playing Call of Duty than I had with them on Sunday morning, during a worship service, in our church building.
I am so excited God continues to open my eyes and remind me that He is center of all - and its not confined to our "God moments" but to every moment. And the beauty of working with students is they are walking through this too - they have not yet confined things to boxes - and we can just as easily have God talk over Xbox live playing their favorite game as we can sitting in chairs at the church.
In Christ,
Brummy
Do people learn from sermons? Yes. Do people learn in a classroom? Yes. But at the heart of all of this - the most impactful sermons have been from those whom I have a deep relationship with - whom I know deeply love and I have seen live that love. The most meaningful classroom learning experiences have been with those whom I have a relationship with - who cared about me beyond just me learning what they were trying to teach.
And this my friends - is why every hour outside of the Sunday morning or Wednesday night environment counts. Do they learn here? Yes. Do they also learn more from watching and living with you outside these times? Possibly. I did.
That in the middle of a Call of Duty match (because of how middle school minds work) you hear a 7th grader say "I got [friend's name] to read 1 Corinthians with me today. He may come to church with me sometime soon too."
And that, my friends, is beautiful. Let's get outside this box - God isn't confined to a building, things aren't inherently "Christian" and non-Christian. I had a better conversation with this student about God while playing Call of Duty than I had with them on Sunday morning, during a worship service, in our church building.
I am so excited God continues to open my eyes and remind me that He is center of all - and its not confined to our "God moments" but to every moment. And the beauty of working with students is they are walking through this too - they have not yet confined things to boxes - and we can just as easily have God talk over Xbox live playing their favorite game as we can sitting in chairs at the church.
In Christ,
Brummy
Monday, March 11, 2013
5 Things God Has Taught Me About Ministry
God has a funny way of working - but this past year has been a clear reminder that God's ways are not my ways and God's thoughts are not my thoughts...and especially that God's timing is not my timing.
1. None of my classes remotely prepared me for anything I experienced in the real ministry world
Sorry Malone, but its just true - nothing I learned in class really prepared me for this. But, it did give me one good thing - relationships with some really solid men of God (a few of my professors) whom I could lean on during my difficult times. These men have been valuable resources, and was worth all the thousands of dollars I spent to sit in some classes which had some good memories (like when I delayed class because I wrote as many Pokemon on the board as I could possibly remember) but mainly left me with a solid support system when I came upon situations I hadn't dreamed of experiencing.
2. Ministry stinks...but is full of joy
I used to think ministry would make me happy - but I realize that is false. Ministry does not make me happy. In reality, it has many bitter, heart-wrenching moments. And yet, Christ has done a work on me this past year and filled me with more joy than I ever remember. And that is the key - because as tough as the moments are, as much happiness as is absent - I am being filled with the joy of Christ more and more every day I get to serve him full-time in ministry.
3. Sometimes you are forced to grow up...And sometimes God won't let you
This one sort of speaks for yourself. I am 23...and my Bible is consistently opened to 1 Timothy, specifically 4:12. There were things which I learned come with the territory I never thought would...again I wasn't prepared. My first funeral, for an 8th grade student whose father suddenly died, leading two missions trips back to back after going 100% all summer, being thrown into a role much larger than any shoes I ever thought I would fill, figuring out that not everyone in the church loves Jesus and sometimes doesn't like change, even if you believe it will be best for leading students to Jesus - and that when you get down and want to quit with every part of your body - that God still works on your soul and tells you to press forward - reminds you that He is in control.
4. May Jesus come soon...because this is lonely
That glorious day when Christ returns is longed for even more...and yet I see so much work to be done. My commitment to this community has caused me to feel more and more alone, seemingly overwhelmed by the amount of students who so desperately need to know the love of Christ - and yet God has reminded me that He is in control. That moments I feel weak or as though it is too much - He is in control. I am but a vessel used by Him. And that though it is lonely, there are those around me to lean on for support.
5. Don't Worry
I've gone back and forth about worrying - and I realize now it doesn't matter. I used to not care - which was bad, and then I cared to much - which I realized was wrong. Because not caring meant I wasn't worrying about God and shepherding His flock, and caring too much meant I focused so much on that one little sheep that I missed sight of the rest. So now I serve God - and do my best to look upon the whole, knowing that some of these sheep will just be stubborn. I pull them back in here and there, but some just want to run. God is the Shepherd - and I trust He is in control.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Read This
Yesterday I gave up the new dog I had adopted - I had been so excited about the idea of having a dog to come home to every night, but I forgot how much time and energy was required. And I realized I had a tough choice to make - realized that there was already not enough of me to go around. And there are those who need much more of me, that I'm willing to sacrifice those cute little paws and wagging tail to a cold, empty apartment.
This year has been challenging for me, I have had deep moments of questioning. I have had moments of fear - fear of letting everyone down.
I gave up part of my 20's when the shocking happened - the father of one of my students passed suddenly away and I was asked to perform the funeral. I didn't think I was going to ever experience that - how do I respond? They don't teach you this at bible college.
I set myself up as available and accessible to the church world and the "unchurched world". They don't like not having full access to me - students and families don't get why I can't solely focus on them. After all - thats what my job is right? To tend to the every need and make good little church kids? And the unchurched don't get why any young adult male would care to hang out at the schools, at football games - theres got to be something different, something weird about them? Church? I know what church people act like - they put on masks and pretend to be perfect and don't accept me.
I'm the one who creates the chaos on weekends where kids are out of control.
I'm the one who plays that music which means now my kids listen to it - and its awful.
I'm the one who doesn't wear a suit on sunday mornings - that doesn't look like he can even attend this church.
But in reality...I'm the one who is striving my best to serve my heavenly father.
I will not be defined apart from Christ. I will invite kids in to my home who cuss - because if they don't know Jesus yet, they won't act like him. And I won't let Jesus be defined by "Christian values." Because when I lack patience and grace - when we lack patience and grace - in our marriages, with children, with family - then we aren't being "Christian." You don't want to be around those people? Then who will show them Jesus? How will they experience true grace? Because all that shows them is God is for those who have it figured out - if you won't extend grace, unrelenting - then you paint a picture of Christ that doesn't extend to them.
You know "church kids" see themselves?
Wrong
Selfish
Broken
Selfharming
Fat
Nerd
Gay
Stupid
Hated By Others
Bad Kid
Cheater
Liar
Not Pretty Enough
Not Popular
Cruel
Insecure
Useless
Unwanted
And the sad thing - these definitions are often from other "church kids." Because we miss this part of showing God's grace and love - because when its about making good kids we miss it -
I will never make your kids good. You will never make your kids good. Because none of us are good. Apart from Christ - we are bad. And apart from truly loving Him it doesn't matter how much you spare yourself or your children from - its not about abstaining from things - its about surrendering to Christ. Everything. Your mind won't change because you listen to "worship" or "Christian" music. Your mind will change because Christ is in you and working in you.
I love you all dearly - and I will continue to press forward. I will do my best to be a picture of grace and love and patience because of what Christ has done. But I will not do it for a select few - I will push and be uncomfortable at times. I will go as long as God will use me - I will let myself be broken down, worn down, beat down - for the sake of your children. My heart breaks for them. I will take whatever you have to say, for the sake of Christ - and that He may be proclaimed in the lives of your children.
This year has been challenging for me, I have had deep moments of questioning. I have had moments of fear - fear of letting everyone down.
I gave up part of my 20's when the shocking happened - the father of one of my students passed suddenly away and I was asked to perform the funeral. I didn't think I was going to ever experience that - how do I respond? They don't teach you this at bible college.
I set myself up as available and accessible to the church world and the "unchurched world". They don't like not having full access to me - students and families don't get why I can't solely focus on them. After all - thats what my job is right? To tend to the every need and make good little church kids? And the unchurched don't get why any young adult male would care to hang out at the schools, at football games - theres got to be something different, something weird about them? Church? I know what church people act like - they put on masks and pretend to be perfect and don't accept me.
I'm the one who creates the chaos on weekends where kids are out of control.
I'm the one who plays that music which means now my kids listen to it - and its awful.
I'm the one who doesn't wear a suit on sunday mornings - that doesn't look like he can even attend this church.
But in reality...I'm the one who is striving my best to serve my heavenly father.
I will not be defined apart from Christ. I will invite kids in to my home who cuss - because if they don't know Jesus yet, they won't act like him. And I won't let Jesus be defined by "Christian values." Because when I lack patience and grace - when we lack patience and grace - in our marriages, with children, with family - then we aren't being "Christian." You don't want to be around those people? Then who will show them Jesus? How will they experience true grace? Because all that shows them is God is for those who have it figured out - if you won't extend grace, unrelenting - then you paint a picture of Christ that doesn't extend to them.
You know "church kids" see themselves?
Wrong
Selfish
Broken
Selfharming
Fat
Nerd
Gay
Stupid
Hated By Others
Bad Kid
Cheater
Liar
Not Pretty Enough
Not Popular
Cruel
Insecure
Useless
Unwanted
And the sad thing - these definitions are often from other "church kids." Because we miss this part of showing God's grace and love - because when its about making good kids we miss it -
I will never make your kids good. You will never make your kids good. Because none of us are good. Apart from Christ - we are bad. And apart from truly loving Him it doesn't matter how much you spare yourself or your children from - its not about abstaining from things - its about surrendering to Christ. Everything. Your mind won't change because you listen to "worship" or "Christian" music. Your mind will change because Christ is in you and working in you.
I love you all dearly - and I will continue to press forward. I will do my best to be a picture of grace and love and patience because of what Christ has done. But I will not do it for a select few - I will push and be uncomfortable at times. I will go as long as God will use me - I will let myself be broken down, worn down, beat down - for the sake of your children. My heart breaks for them. I will take whatever you have to say, for the sake of Christ - and that He may be proclaimed in the lives of your children.
Friday, October 26, 2012
An Honest Question for Parents
Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:
"Do you love Jesus?"
Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.
Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration.
I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did.
But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.
My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.
I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?
Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?
I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa?
Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?
Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child.
I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.
Do you love Jesus?
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Rethinking: What If...?
What would it look like if Christians got as excited about spending time and being Jesus to the kids smoking pot and doing drugs at the skate park as their favorite candidate winning a debate?
What would it look like if Christians went to their knees in prayer for the broken community around them instead of to the TV for their favorite show?
What would it look like if we gave up our evening meal at a favorite restaurant to meet with the kid dealing with a broken home, an addiction to pornography, a parent who says they will never amount to anything?
What would it look like if we took a night away from athletics, music, etc to simply sit with those who have never known the hope of Jesus?
Why do we get so passionate about us being right instead of passionate about the truth of God and the hope of Jesus breaking the chains of the hurt, the lonely, the lost, the unloved?
Oh God - the world is crying out around us - let us die to ourselves and live each and every moment for you.
What would it look like if Christians went to their knees in prayer for the broken community around them instead of to the TV for their favorite show?
What would it look like if we gave up our evening meal at a favorite restaurant to meet with the kid dealing with a broken home, an addiction to pornography, a parent who says they will never amount to anything?
What would it look like if we took a night away from athletics, music, etc to simply sit with those who have never known the hope of Jesus?
Why do we get so passionate about us being right instead of passionate about the truth of God and the hope of Jesus breaking the chains of the hurt, the lonely, the lost, the unloved?
Oh God - the world is crying out around us - let us die to ourselves and live each and every moment for you.
And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:40 ESV)
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Is Youth Ministry Really Where We Went Wrong?
"42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." - Acts 2:42-47 (ESV)It's been said that youth ministry went wrong somewhere - shocking statistics about how many students leave church after high school. And I agree - for many church became just a "thing" they do. However, I also wonder if the blame can really be upon student ministry. As I walk into our church each week - I notice something about what we are trying to do in student ministry. We don't at all have it perfect - but I look and reflect back on my experience in student ministry and realize there was something happening there, something good, which often time is missed in terms of the large church.
I had leaders who pursued me, pursued me weekly. Currently, our team is about connecting - having each student, even first time visitors, connected to a leader. Someone who remembers their visit - who follows up. Because it has to be about more than that Sunday morning or Wednesday night, it has to be a living, breathing everyday thing. Because our walk with God is a living, breathing everyday thing. We gather as a community - to worship - united as one in worship to our God and King. We have moments where we eat together, where we talk throughout the week. That we laugh together, call each other out, etc. Sure - some only come for fun times - but I've noticed a change. Because we are genuine and real - students who "only came for fun things" have begun to desire to be connected. To belong to a community.
So my question now becomes, as students engage in this community, focused upon Christ, what do I have to pass them off to? Because honestly, when I walk into a sanctuary of 800+ it does feel as though something is missing. It does feel as though many are just going through the motions. It is too easy to be comfortable, to be lost in the crowd. I've never felt pursued by others there. I don't know many names - I don't have opportunity beforehand to build community. I watch others slowly file in to their rows, thumb through bulletins or iPhones, wait for the music to start and keep to themselves. And "adult bible fellowships" seem to function more like classes to learn than communities to learn, challenge, grow, and walk alongside one another.
Now - I love being able to worship and gather - and it is important. But I think there is a great aspect missing here. Because I worship with these students - but beforehand we don't just sit idly. And if I see a student sitting alone - if our students see someone sitting along - we change that. We approach, get to know - invite to come over to the cafe and drink some hot chocolate. Things we do to intentionally build community, to create relationships. To learn about each other and to learn about God together, to be able to challenge, to be able to trust, to be able to live life together.
I guess what I am wrestling with is, is it student ministry that causes students to leave the church? Or is there something bigger that is missing? Is there an aspect of faith that is overlooked, forgotten, lost in our big services and big ways of doing church?
- Brummy
Friday, September 21, 2012
Do We So Easily Forget?
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (ESV)Where do you turn in your time of need? To what do you look to heal you, to make things right?
Apart from Christ there is nothing which will leave you at peace, which will strengthen you. There are things which may for a time, causing you to believe they have given you healing and peace - but they will never be enough. At some point - they will not satisfy that unquenchable desire. Apart from Christ - nothing will.
How easily we forget this. How easily we turn to these things, believing God not to be enough. Today - let me encourage you in this - God is enough. A life so content in Him has no reason to fear, no reason to seek anything else. Yet we cannot cling any longer with one hand to Christ and the other still grasping for the "other" to satisfy. Christ - wholly, in an of Himself - is enough. Not God plus some.
So let us challenge one another to let go fully of the other lies which tempt us and tell us they will heal, they will fill, they will satisfy, and let us grasp with all we are, heart, body, soul - to the One who gave Himself up for us.
- Brummy
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Change Must Come...
And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."
It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.
It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.
Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?
Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?
Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?
Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?
There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.
Well, God isn't calling me to.
Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?
Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?
Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."
It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.
It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.
Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?
Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?
Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?
Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?
There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.
Well, God isn't calling me to.
Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?
Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?
Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Love
A young boy once sat quietly in a corner of a room. Inside him were a million thoughts and a million voices, every bit of him screamed for help. And yet, as he sat within the church, he feared to share what he so desperately sought escape from. Because if people knew what he dealt with, what he as a broken individual wrestled with, he feared they would not give hope. Rather, they would focus on how messed up he was, how sick, how filthy. He understood Christ and grace to be a once then perfect thing. So he remained quiet.
How many more sit quietly, afraid to seek healing because they fear judgement. Healing from the hurt of broken families, from the grips of addiction to pornography, to the struggle of same-sex attraction, to drugs, to vanity, to self-image. Oh how my soul longs for those who would sit and listen, sit and love. Those who do or don't are each in the same boat, just as unworthy.
Those who have never struggled with addiction are not better people.
Those who have never lusted are not better people.
Those who have never lied are not better people.
Those who do not have same-sex attraction are not better people.
Those who have not abused are not better people.
Because each and every one of us are in need of God's grace each and every day.
There are no simple answers. I cannot tell you why you struggle with this. Truth is we all have struggles. Some are easier seen, and our fallen, human tendencies often make others point out things uncomfortable to them, point out things so that the spotlight is off them. It breaks my heart that we get so upset over defining marriage, and yet how many within the church struggle within their marriages, how many students do I have from broken homes. I do not want this to be a debate, but rather a cry. A cry from my heart to seek Christ first and foremost.
If you are abused or abuser, you have hope that is offered in Christ.
If you are divorced or divorcer, you have hope that is found only in Christ.
If you are addicted, you have freedom in Christ.
If you are broken or breaking, you have redemption in Christ.
If you are attracted to men, or if you are attracted to women, there is one to whom each of us was created to be in relationship with. It took me many long years to realize a part of my heart could only be filled by my God and my savior.
Run to this love. Know this love. Whomever you are, wherever you are in life, run to God. My life is witness to His grace, to His power, to His love. And its for you, and for me.
How many more sit quietly, afraid to seek healing because they fear judgement. Healing from the hurt of broken families, from the grips of addiction to pornography, to the struggle of same-sex attraction, to drugs, to vanity, to self-image. Oh how my soul longs for those who would sit and listen, sit and love. Those who do or don't are each in the same boat, just as unworthy.
Those who have never struggled with addiction are not better people.
Those who have never lusted are not better people.
Those who have never lied are not better people.
Those who do not have same-sex attraction are not better people.
Those who have not abused are not better people.
Because each and every one of us are in need of God's grace each and every day.
There are no simple answers. I cannot tell you why you struggle with this. Truth is we all have struggles. Some are easier seen, and our fallen, human tendencies often make others point out things uncomfortable to them, point out things so that the spotlight is off them. It breaks my heart that we get so upset over defining marriage, and yet how many within the church struggle within their marriages, how many students do I have from broken homes. I do not want this to be a debate, but rather a cry. A cry from my heart to seek Christ first and foremost.
If you are abused or abuser, you have hope that is offered in Christ.
If you are divorced or divorcer, you have hope that is found only in Christ.
If you are addicted, you have freedom in Christ.
If you are broken or breaking, you have redemption in Christ.
If you are attracted to men, or if you are attracted to women, there is one to whom each of us was created to be in relationship with. It took me many long years to realize a part of my heart could only be filled by my God and my savior.
Run to this love. Know this love. Whomever you are, wherever you are in life, run to God. My life is witness to His grace, to His power, to His love. And its for you, and for me.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Not A Super-Hero...Not Normal
"Sometimes, to do what's right, we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams." - Peter Parker/Spider-man
Let me preface this by saying, I do not at all view myself as a super-hero or as having some sort of super-power. However, I have recently watched a decent number of super-hero films, and was in one way or another spoken to through them. These past few days have, for whatever reason, forced me to have a lot of time to myself. A lot of time to think, to search, to remember. I have observed events, the world, around me, taken a step back and asked, where do I fit in?
I watch as those dear to my heart reunite with loved ones gone for a few weeks serving. I watch as those dear to me take time as a family to adventure together. I am blown away by the transformation which took place in a friend's life, who only a few years ago wanted nothing to do with God, and is know a man of God whom I look up to, doing his best to serve Him this summer. And I've sat and remembered hopes and dreams I once had, that part of me still has. I reminisce to childhood memories, good and bad. And I reflect on the enormous and extremely scary path which has been set before me.
As I sat this evening watching Spider-man 2, there is a part where Peter Parker attempts to stop being Spider-man, to live a "normal" life, so he can have and do the things he "wanted" to do. At the end, however, he realizes who he is: he is Spider-man. He was given a great gift, for whatever reason, and he cannot cease to be "spider-man" simply because he chooses not to. For a moment I resonated with him, because this past year has been an enormous struggle for me. It has been a challenge, and at moments I felt I couldn't go on. I continually asked God why? How? I tried to lean on Him with all I could, but at moments I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. Like Spider-man, I felt as though there was challenge after challenge. And no one truly understands, understands what it is like to constantly feel that pressure.
Now, I have to remember to constantly surrender to Christ. But there is also a part of me which knows what God has called to me. And that my call isn't like another's, and that others won't get it. That they will ask why I do it. And they will ask why my life hasn't fallen along the line of normalcy, like everyone else. After all, there is an order of things, right? College, job, marriage, grad school, kids. And if you don't follow this line, something is wrong with you. They may not say it, but that is how it comes across.
But tonight, tonight I have peace. I have peace from God because I rest in Him. I rest in the fact that others won't get it. Because I have been given an opportunity to lay down that "normal" life for Christ, to speak into the lives of these students. No one else will get why I would rather sit and facebook chat a high school student about drugs, suicide, music, life than sit around with kids my age at a party. No one else will get why after an entire week with students, I'll still spend my Saturday with them. Because I know that relationship is key - that it has led to openness and honesty, and allows me to sit and cry with them in the midst of divorce and heartache. Teachers won't get why I'd volunteer at an after-school tutoring with a bunch of kids who are failing and couldn't care less. Yet simply sitting with them day after day makes them ask why - kids who wouldn't ever come to church. Who won't respond to a cheesy piece of paper with a bible verse on it (yes, tracts...) That I am content in knowing that somehow Christ is using me is enough. I don't need to rush into grad school. I don't need to rush into a family. Because God hasn't called me to be normal. He has called me to Him. All my life I've wanted to fit in. With all I am I wanted a family to love, a great job, lots of friends. But sometimes God calls us to lay things down for Him. I love my students to death, I love my church to death. But many will never get it. Never understand. I am not even sure why I wrote this, mostly for myself. What I do know is Christ, somehow working in me and through me. He has not called me to be normal. I doubt He has called any of us to be normal. And I will be content to be seen as a mystery, for God is a God who works in mysterious ways.
- Brummy
Let me preface this by saying, I do not at all view myself as a super-hero or as having some sort of super-power. However, I have recently watched a decent number of super-hero films, and was in one way or another spoken to through them. These past few days have, for whatever reason, forced me to have a lot of time to myself. A lot of time to think, to search, to remember. I have observed events, the world, around me, taken a step back and asked, where do I fit in?
I watch as those dear to my heart reunite with loved ones gone for a few weeks serving. I watch as those dear to me take time as a family to adventure together. I am blown away by the transformation which took place in a friend's life, who only a few years ago wanted nothing to do with God, and is know a man of God whom I look up to, doing his best to serve Him this summer. And I've sat and remembered hopes and dreams I once had, that part of me still has. I reminisce to childhood memories, good and bad. And I reflect on the enormous and extremely scary path which has been set before me.
As I sat this evening watching Spider-man 2, there is a part where Peter Parker attempts to stop being Spider-man, to live a "normal" life, so he can have and do the things he "wanted" to do. At the end, however, he realizes who he is: he is Spider-man. He was given a great gift, for whatever reason, and he cannot cease to be "spider-man" simply because he chooses not to. For a moment I resonated with him, because this past year has been an enormous struggle for me. It has been a challenge, and at moments I felt I couldn't go on. I continually asked God why? How? I tried to lean on Him with all I could, but at moments I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. Like Spider-man, I felt as though there was challenge after challenge. And no one truly understands, understands what it is like to constantly feel that pressure.
Now, I have to remember to constantly surrender to Christ. But there is also a part of me which knows what God has called to me. And that my call isn't like another's, and that others won't get it. That they will ask why I do it. And they will ask why my life hasn't fallen along the line of normalcy, like everyone else. After all, there is an order of things, right? College, job, marriage, grad school, kids. And if you don't follow this line, something is wrong with you. They may not say it, but that is how it comes across.
But tonight, tonight I have peace. I have peace from God because I rest in Him. I rest in the fact that others won't get it. Because I have been given an opportunity to lay down that "normal" life for Christ, to speak into the lives of these students. No one else will get why I would rather sit and facebook chat a high school student about drugs, suicide, music, life than sit around with kids my age at a party. No one else will get why after an entire week with students, I'll still spend my Saturday with them. Because I know that relationship is key - that it has led to openness and honesty, and allows me to sit and cry with them in the midst of divorce and heartache. Teachers won't get why I'd volunteer at an after-school tutoring with a bunch of kids who are failing and couldn't care less. Yet simply sitting with them day after day makes them ask why - kids who wouldn't ever come to church. Who won't respond to a cheesy piece of paper with a bible verse on it (yes, tracts...) That I am content in knowing that somehow Christ is using me is enough. I don't need to rush into grad school. I don't need to rush into a family. Because God hasn't called me to be normal. He has called me to Him. All my life I've wanted to fit in. With all I am I wanted a family to love, a great job, lots of friends. But sometimes God calls us to lay things down for Him. I love my students to death, I love my church to death. But many will never get it. Never understand. I am not even sure why I wrote this, mostly for myself. What I do know is Christ, somehow working in me and through me. He has not called me to be normal. I doubt He has called any of us to be normal. And I will be content to be seen as a mystery, for God is a God who works in mysterious ways.
- Brummy
Friday, June 1, 2012
Praise
I praise God for this past year.
I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.
I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.
I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.
I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.
I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.
I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.
I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.
I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.
I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.
I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.
I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.
I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.
I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.
I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.
I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.
I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.
I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.
I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
What Have We Done
What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.
I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."
Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?
We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?
Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?
I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal.
But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.
- Brummy
I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."
Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?
We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?
Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?
I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal.
But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.
- Brummy
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
A New Day
"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14Today is a new day. Stop and rest in that. You can't change what happened yesterday. You can't change the mistakes, the hurts, the failures of yesterday. But here is the truth: God's grace is new everyday. Do not be tied down to whatever you did yesterday (or whatever you didn't do.) We are free in Christ, though that freedom does not give us freedom to sin it offers us the freedom that when we do, His grace has washed over us. Don't define yourself by what you did yesterday, look to Christ today and know that it is a new day. A new day to press forward in Christ, as best you can. And when you fall, He will lift you back up. Rest in that, forget about yesterday, don't let it tie you down. Press on toward the goal. Forget what lies behind you. Strain towards what lies ahead.
"Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved." - Philippians 4:1
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