I was reading this story in Luke of Jesus when he was a boy (twelve years old) so middle school Jesus. What a great age. And what a great story. Its in Luke 2:41-52, and Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem at the temple, his parents assuming he was with them in the caravan (I believe, but check for yourself, it was common for them to travel together and thus almost communally care for each others children, which is why they could go a whole day's journey without noticing middle school Jesus wasn't with them.)
I find a few things interesting, first is when they find Jesus he is with the teachers, so of course we see he was in a good place. But second, and this speaks a lot to the middle school age, Jesus was listening to them and asking them questions. One of these I'm not sure middle schoolers today do so well, the second I know they do. But, I believe they desire both. However, too often we seem to want them to listen without leaving room for questions. (After all, who wants to be questioned?)
And yet, this speaks so clearly to what the middle school student needs. They need those to speak into their lives truth, but they also need someone then to listen to their questions. I wonder if we leave room for this? Do you leave room for your son or daughter to ask you questions? We have a rule in our small group, in fact in the entire middle school youth group. There are no dumb questions. We forget that developmentally, our minds can comprehend things and often think in different ways. However, these "silly" or "stupid" questions a middle schooler asks to them are important in their development and understanding who they are.
I think too often we tend to fear questions, because we fear it means they won't believe what we want them to. And yet, I encourage students to question. We had a time last night where I asked them what challenges they have in either believing in God or following God. And then I stopped to listen, to let them ask questions, and then respond. Some shared that they get God created everything, but how could got not have been created. That is why it was difficult for them to believe and follow. Now perhaps a response would be "You just have to! You don't ask that!" But I stopped, I shared honestly that the question is a challenge. Its difficult to wrap our heads around. (Honestly, can you fully explain and comprehend how God always was, is, and will be? If so, please give me a call.)
I look and see a desire for students to be heard, to be able to ask questions, and they will respond to those who allow them to by listening. My students listen to my response when I allow them to question, to seek. As parents, I encourage you to have this discussion. But let it be discussion, let your kids do most of the talking. Let them ask the question. And don't be afraid to answer with "I don't know, but let's find out together." That will mean more, and your child will appreciate it. Personally, I know I wanted to be allowed to ask questions to my parents, to discuss them. But I feared their response would be to try and throw a ton of stuff at me or tell me "you just have to believe it, okay!" I wanted an open conversation, where they would listen to my questions, and in turn I could listen to their response, whether with an answer or an "I don't know."
Do you take time for your middle schooler to ask questions? Do you listen to them? They have questions, they have things they are seeking to understand. And we must listen to them, must seek to be honest and real. Its a part of life, and if we just close up or tell them not to ask it, they will ask somewhere else.
Jesus sought the teachers of the temple, seeking those who would listen and allow him to ask questions. Does your middle schooler know they can ask you questions and you will honestly listen? I am not a parent, but I am challenged by this. Because I do want students to get it, to understand. But I realize I must allow them to ask me these questions, because it is what is on their hearts and minds, and things they are seeking. Better they hear from us than from the world, wouldn't you agree?
- Brummy
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