Do We So Easily Forget?

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

Where do you turn in your time of need? To what do you look to heal you, to make things right?

Apart from Christ there is nothing which will leave you at peace, which will strengthen you. There are things which may for a time, causing you to believe they have given you healing and peace - but they will never be enough. At some point - they will not satisfy that unquenchable desire. Apart from Christ - nothing will.

How easily we forget this. How easily we turn to these things, believing God not to be enough. Today - let me encourage you in this - God is enough. A life so content in Him has no reason to fear, no reason to seek anything else. Yet we cannot cling any longer with one hand to Christ and the other still grasping for the "other" to satisfy. Christ - wholly, in an of Himself - is enough. Not God plus some.

So let us challenge one another to let go fully of the other lies which tempt us and tell us they will heal, they will fill, they will satisfy, and let us grasp with all we are, heart, body, soul - to the One who gave Himself up for us.

- Brummy

Change Must Come...

And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."

It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.

It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?

Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?

There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.

Well, God isn't calling me to.

Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?

Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."

Love

A young boy once sat quietly in a corner of a room. Inside him were a million thoughts and a million voices, every bit of him screamed for help. And yet, as he sat within the church, he feared to share what he so desperately sought escape from. Because if people knew what he dealt with, what he as a broken individual wrestled with, he feared they would not give hope. Rather, they would focus on how messed up he was, how sick, how filthy. He understood Christ and grace to be a once then perfect thing. So he remained quiet.

How many more sit quietly, afraid to seek healing because they fear judgement. Healing from the hurt of broken families, from the grips of addiction to pornography, to the struggle of same-sex attraction, to drugs, to vanity, to self-image. Oh how my soul longs for those who would sit and listen, sit and love. Those who do or don't are each in the same boat, just as unworthy.

Those who have never struggled with addiction are not better people.
Those who have never lusted are not better people.
Those who have never lied are not better people.
Those who do not have same-sex attraction are not better people.
Those who have not abused are not better people.
Because each and every one of us are in need of God's grace each and every day.

There are no simple answers. I cannot tell you why you struggle with this. Truth is we all have struggles. Some are easier seen, and our fallen, human tendencies often make others point out things uncomfortable to them, point out things so that the spotlight is off them. It breaks my heart that we get so upset over defining marriage, and yet how many within the church struggle within their marriages, how many students do I have from broken homes. I do not want this to be a debate, but rather a cry. A cry from my heart to seek Christ first and foremost.

If you are abused or abuser, you have hope that is offered in Christ.
If you are divorced or divorcer, you have hope that is found only in Christ.
If you are addicted, you have freedom in Christ.
If you are broken or breaking, you have redemption in Christ.
If you are attracted to men, or if you are attracted to women, there is one to whom each of us was created to be in relationship with. It took me many long years to realize a part of my heart could only be filled by my God and my savior.

Run to this love. Know this love. Whomever you are, wherever you are in life, run to God. My life is witness to His grace, to His power, to His love. And its for you, and for me.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

Not A Super-Hero...Not Normal

"Sometimes, to do what's right, we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams." - Peter Parker/Spider-man


Let me preface this by saying, I do not at all view myself as a super-hero or as having some sort of super-power. However, I have recently watched a decent number of super-hero films, and was in one way or another spoken to through them. These past few days have, for whatever reason, forced me to have a lot of time to myself. A lot of time to think, to search, to remember. I have observed events, the world, around me, taken a step back and asked, where do I fit in?


I watch as those dear to my heart reunite with loved ones gone for a few weeks serving. I watch as those dear to me take time as a family to adventure together. I am blown away by the transformation which took place in a friend's life, who only a few years ago wanted nothing to do with God, and is know a man of God whom I look up to, doing his best to serve Him this summer. And I've sat and remembered hopes and dreams I once had, that part of me still has. I reminisce to childhood memories, good and bad. And I reflect on the enormous and extremely scary path which has been set before me.


As I sat this evening watching Spider-man 2, there is a part where Peter Parker attempts to stop being Spider-man, to live a "normal" life, so he can have and do the things he "wanted" to do. At the end, however, he realizes who he is: he is Spider-man. He was given a great gift, for whatever reason, and he cannot cease to be "spider-man" simply because he chooses not to. For a moment I resonated with him, because this past year has been an enormous struggle for me. It has been a challenge, and at moments I felt I couldn't go on. I continually asked God why? How? I tried to lean on Him with all I could, but at moments I felt like I couldn't do it anymore. Like Spider-man, I felt as though there was challenge after challenge. And no one truly understands, understands what it is like to constantly feel that pressure.


Now, I have to remember to constantly surrender to Christ. But there is also a part of me which knows what God has called to me. And that my call isn't like another's, and that others won't get it. That they will ask why I do it. And they will ask why my life hasn't fallen along the line of normalcy, like everyone else. After all, there is an order of things, right? College, job, marriage, grad school, kids. And if you don't follow this line, something is wrong with you. They may not say it, but that is how it comes across.


But tonight, tonight I have peace. I have peace from God because I rest in Him. I rest in the fact that others won't get it. Because I have been given an opportunity to lay down that "normal" life for Christ, to speak into the lives of these students. No one else will get why I would rather sit and facebook chat a high school student about drugs, suicide, music, life than sit around with kids my age at a party. No one else will get why after an entire week with students, I'll still spend my Saturday with them. Because I know that relationship is key - that it has led to openness and honesty, and allows me to sit and cry with them in the midst of divorce and heartache. Teachers won't get why I'd volunteer at an after-school tutoring with a bunch of kids who are failing and couldn't care less. Yet simply sitting with them day after day makes them ask why - kids who wouldn't ever come to church. Who won't respond to a cheesy piece of paper with a bible verse on it (yes, tracts...) That I am content in knowing that somehow Christ is using me is enough. I don't need to rush into grad school. I don't need to rush into a family. Because God hasn't called me to be normal. He has called me to Him. All my life I've wanted to fit in. With all I am I wanted a family to love, a great job, lots of friends. But sometimes God calls us to lay things down for Him. I love my students to death, I love my church to death. But many will never get it. Never understand. I am not even sure why I wrote this, mostly for myself. What I do know is Christ, somehow working in me and through me. He has not called me to be normal. I doubt He has called any of us to be normal. And I will be content to be seen as a mystery, for God is a God who works in mysterious ways.


- Brummy

Praise

I praise God for this past year.

I praise God for the opportunity to sit by a sixth grader who has dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide, who found the strength to open up and share. I praise God for his tears, that I could weep with him, for arms with which I could embrace him, and for lips with which I could tell him just how deeply he is loved by God.

I praise God for the chance to sit and weep with a family who lost their father - but who can rest in the hope they have of seeing him again, because he rests in heaven with his lord and savior.

I praise God for every breath I had each morning, even on days when I was exhausted.

I praise God for the principals of our local middle schools, for the friendships I have made their, for the hard work they put in every day, and that God has blessed me to be welcomed and a part of it.

I praise God for my church community, for the love and support the families showed me. That in my times of stress and grief, God provided those to carry me through.

I praise God for the wisdom of the pastors I serve with, for the vision and guidance of our lead pastor, and for God's faithfulness, through good and bad.

I praise God for the ministry students I have been able to pour into, sharing whatever flawed and limited knowledge I have with them.

I praise God for the hurt I felt growing up. I praise God for the sleepless nights in tears, wondering whether life was worth living. I praise God for my struggles, for my challenges. I praise God for preparing me to speak His truth and love into the lives of these students.

I praise God, because He is God, because He is worthy to be praised. I praise Him not just because of these things, but because He is God, and that is enough.

What Have We Done

What have we done? I fear that we have set certain expectations and certain norms upon our society, upon our children, which do not represent a God of grace and mercy (true, not His only aspects) but one that fits all into a box. It is little wonder that students walk into a church ministry and fear to be themselves - fear to be open about who they truly are, what they truly deal with, because of what we have done. We have told them that we define what is normal - what is valid. Lord forgive us.

I am always sparked by conversations I have with people assuming I am not "normal" because I am not yet married, yet I have a full-time job. Many even try and define it as "normalcy" defined by God. Yes, in the beginning we were given the command to be united, to be fruitful and multiply, and that it is not good to be alone. And yes, these are all true. And then sin happened. And now we live in a world, redeemed by the grace of God, to which we are called to live different lifestyles. There is not one "defined normal" life any of us has - apart from finding ourselves in Christ. Jesus himself even said in Matthew 19:12 there are some who will not marry, either because of physical reasons or because of choice. "Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Being unmarried is not abnormal. To the world it may be. But I have found, so far, that the words of Paul are true. I would have been unable to have impacted the way I did this year if my focus was double. God opened doors I never imagined, with students I barely knew, and he did amazing things. And I wasn't the "normal." So why do we assume a sense of normalcy?

We also tend to hinder the understanding that grace is a process. My walk with Christ was never one of sinner turned un-sinner. I struggled. I struggle. I grew up in the church, but it was never a one day sinner next day perfect. Too often we portray a sense that a "normal" Christian is one who has no struggles, who never sins. Where do we get this idea? I press forward, I strive for Christ, for perfection, but never assume I have achieved it. We do not make light God's grace, but do we continue to preach God's grace and forgiveness to those who have been saved. Or do we present God as one who saves and then becomes upset the instant we sin?

Peter denied Jesus 3 times. He was ashamed. And how did Jesus respond? He made him breakfast. He asked if He loved Him, and told him to feed His sheep. David messed up big. God sent a prophet, and David repented, turned back to God. Israel continually turned from God, and God continually restored His hand (after turning them over to their enemies, He continually restored them.) So why do our students come with the impression that they cannot share, cannot speak of what is really going on? Because without they will not be loved, not be wanted, not be welcome?

I fear we have made a sense of normal which is not in line with the light of Christ. We have defined rules and standards for what is normal and right. We have made it about our rules and what makes us feel comfortable. You need to achieve these things in life, do these things in life, because otherwise you aren't normal. 


But maybe the reality is defined in this: Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others? Is Christ the center of your life? For some that will mean a life of singleness, for some that will mean sitting at a bar with others every night, listening to them tell of their abuse. For some it means that every day is a struggle with pornography, and they need the body to come alongside and assist, not force them to hold it secret and fall deeper into sin. For some it means standing every Sunday next to someone who isn't attracted in the same way they are - but who may one day be attracted to the God of the universe, whose love covers all. For some it means giving up their free evenings to text a student dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide. For some it means giving up a family to gain something far greater - a life-long service to their Lord and savior. So stop trying to say you know what it means to be normal, that your definition of normal is the only one. That if someone doesn't live up to that, they are not normal. Let God define - after all, God uses the most unlikely.

- Brummy

A New Day

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14

Today is a new day. Stop and rest in that. You can't change what happened yesterday. You can't change the mistakes, the hurts, the failures of yesterday. But here is the truth: God's grace is new everyday. Do not be tied down to whatever you did yesterday (or whatever you didn't do.) We are free in Christ, though that freedom does not give us freedom to sin it offers us the freedom that when we do, His grace has washed over us. Don't define yourself by what you did yesterday, look to Christ today and know that it is a new day. A new day to press forward in Christ, as best you can. And when you fall, He will lift you back up. Rest in that, forget about yesterday, don't let it tie you down. Press on toward the goal. Forget what lies behind you. Strain towards what lies ahead.

"Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved." - Philippians 4:1