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Yesterday I gave up the new dog I had adopted - I had been so excited about the idea of having a dog to come home to every night, but I forgot how much time and energy was required. And I realized I had a tough choice to make - realized that there was already not enough of me to go around. And there are those who need much more of me, that I'm willing to sacrifice those cute little paws and wagging tail to a cold, empty apartment.

This year has been challenging for me, I have had deep moments of questioning. I have had moments of fear - fear of letting everyone down.

I gave up part of my 20's when the shocking happened - the father of one of my students passed suddenly away and I was asked to perform the funeral. I didn't think I was going to ever experience that - how do I respond? They don't teach you this at bible college.

I set myself up as available and accessible to the church world and the "unchurched world". They don't like not having full access to me - students and families don't get why I can't solely focus on them. After all - thats what my job is right? To tend to the every need and make good little church kids? And the unchurched don't get why any young adult male would care to hang out at the schools, at football games - theres got to be something different, something weird about them? Church? I know what church people act like - they put on masks and pretend to be perfect and don't accept me.

I'm the one who creates the chaos on weekends where kids are out of control.
I'm the one who plays that music which means now my kids listen to it - and its awful.
I'm the one who doesn't wear a suit on sunday mornings - that doesn't look like he can even attend this church.

But in reality...I'm the one who is striving my best to serve my heavenly father.

I will not be defined apart from Christ. I will invite kids in to my home who cuss - because if they don't know Jesus yet, they won't act like him. And I won't let Jesus be defined by "Christian values." Because when I lack patience and grace - when we lack patience and grace - in our marriages, with children, with family - then we aren't being "Christian." You don't want to be around those people? Then who will show them Jesus? How will they experience true grace? Because all that shows them is God is for those who have it figured out - if you won't extend grace, unrelenting - then you paint a picture of Christ that doesn't extend to them.

You know "church kids" see themselves?

Wrong
Selfish
Broken
Selfharming
Fat
Nerd
Gay
Stupid
Hated By Others
Bad Kid
Cheater
Liar
Not Pretty Enough
Not Popular
Cruel
Insecure
Useless
Unwanted

And the sad thing - these definitions are often from other "church kids." Because we miss this part of showing God's grace and love - because when its about making good kids we miss it -


I will never make your kids good. You will never make your kids good. Because none of us are good. Apart from Christ - we are bad. And apart from truly loving Him it doesn't matter how much you spare yourself or your children from - its not about abstaining from things - its about surrendering to Christ. Everything. Your mind won't change because you listen to "worship" or "Christian" music. Your mind will change because Christ is in you and working in you. 

I love you all dearly - and I will continue to press forward. I will do my best to be a picture of grace and love and patience because of what Christ has done. But I will not do it for a select few - I will push and be uncomfortable at times. I will go as long as God will use me - I will let myself be broken down, worn down, beat down - for the sake of your children. My heart breaks for them. I will take whatever you have to say, for the sake of Christ - and that He may be proclaimed in the lives of your children. 

An Honest Question for Parents

Its simple - one I have been asking my middle schoolers, especially my 7&8 grade guys in my Connect Group. And the question is this:

"Do you love Jesus?"

Its a simple question - but one I think we forget to ask. We ask if someone goes to church, if someone reads their Bible, if someone is a Christian - but see all these things, sadly get thrown around. What I see in America is a sticker someone wears saying "Christian" but it doesn't mean anything. When I ask - do you love Jesus? Thats a simple question - but tougher.

Cause see, I work in a culture where I know what families love. Let me give you a few examples - its evident that people here love sports. Nearly every student is involved in sports year round - not just for school but extra leagues, tournaments on weekends, practices every night and morning. From cross country to lacrosse to football to soccer. A lot of people love their academic things - good grades are important, especially to get into a good college - which is an admirable aspiration. 

I know if you love a sport - or your kid playing a sport. Because you spend a lot of time, sacrifice a lot of things for your kid to make the team, to be at practice, to play in this tournament. You have great dreams - I know my parents did. 

But here's the thing - its this one little question - do you love Jesus? Or do I simply love that my kid goes to church sometimes, reads his Bible, and hopefully makes good choices because he has "good Christian influences" in his life.

My job is not and never will be to make sure students make good choices and are good people.

I am here to challenge - to prod - to ask - Do You Love Jesus? Is He the center of everything?

Because with this question comes the ask - would you lay down everything for Him? If we truly loved Him would we even hesitate to ask this? If God is calling you (or your child) to give up a sport, to give up a dream to be a doctor to go to Africa - would you be ok with that?

I dreamed of owning my own business, of directing movies, of being an actor - my parents believed in me - believed in these dreams. And then something radical happened - I truly met Jesus. And He led me down a road which has led me to The Chapel in North Canton. I am sure some of you are happy that my life changed in this way - that I am at The Chapel. But what if God is calling your child to give up those dreams you aspired for them? That they dreamed? So they can go and be a vessel for God to the unloved in a Russian orphanage or a refugee camp or a farm town in Iowa? 

Do you love Jesus? Does your child know you love Jesus? Do you model it for them?

Are you someone who just loves the church thing - loves the idea of grace and mercy and a "vending machine god" who makes you a "good person" and gives you the protection of a "free nation" and lets you lead a good life where you can be a good parent and have good kids who do good things and make you proud. Because that is not the God I know - the God of the Bible - who desires 100% of me - of you - of your child. 

I have no problem with sports, with school - what I have a problem with is God somehow equaling the same as these things (or less). That we consider church just some extra curricular activity - the body of Christ gathered together to worship our Lord and Savior, to challenge each other, to grow.

Do you love Jesus?

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ - Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

Rethinking: What If...?

What would it look like if Christians got as excited about spending time and being Jesus to the kids smoking pot and doing drugs at the skate park as their favorite candidate winning a debate?

What would it look like if Christians went to their knees in prayer for the broken community around them instead of to the TV for their favorite show?

What would it look like if we gave up our evening meal at a favorite restaurant to meet with the kid dealing with a broken home, an addiction to pornography, a parent who says they will never amount to anything?

What would it look like if we took a night away from athletics, music, etc to simply sit with those who have never known the hope of Jesus?

Why do we get so passionate about us being right instead of passionate about the truth of God and the hope of Jesus breaking the chains of the hurt, the lonely, the lost, the unloved?


Oh God - the world is crying out around us - let us die to ourselves and live each and every moment for you.

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:40 ESV)

Is Youth Ministry Really Where We Went Wrong?

"⁴² And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. ⁴³ And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. ⁴⁴ And all who believed were together and had all things in common. ⁴⁵ And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. ⁴⁶ And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." - Acts 2:42-47 (ESV)

It's been said that youth ministry went wrong somewhere - shocking statistics about how many students leave church after high school. And I agree - for many church became just a "thing" they do. However, I also wonder if the blame can really be upon student ministry. As I walk into our church each week - I notice something about what we are trying to do in student ministry. We don't at all have it perfect - but I look and reflect back on my experience in student ministry and realize there was something happening there, something good, which often time is missed in terms of the large church.

I had leaders who pursued me, pursued me weekly. Currently, our team is about connecting - having each student, even first time visitors, connected to a leader. Someone who remembers their visit - who follows up. Because it has to be about more than that Sunday morning or Wednesday night, it has to be a living, breathing everyday thing. Because our walk with God is a living, breathing everyday thing. We gather as a community - to worship - united as one in worship to our God and King. We have moments where we eat together, where we talk throughout the week. That we laugh together, call each other out, etc. Sure - some only come for fun times - but I've noticed a change. Because we are genuine and real - students who "only came for fun things" have begun to desire to be connected. To belong to a community.

So my question now becomes, as students engage in this community, focused upon Christ, what do I have to pass them off to? Because honestly, when I walk into a sanctuary of 800+ it does feel as though something is missing. It does feel as though many are just going through the motions. It is too easy to be comfortable, to be lost in the crowd. I've never felt pursued by others there. I don't know many names - I don't have opportunity beforehand to build community. I watch others slowly file in to their rows, thumb through bulletins or iPhones, wait for the music to start and keep to themselves. And "adult bible fellowships" seem to function more like classes to learn than communities to learn, challenge, grow, and walk alongside one another.

Now - I love being able to worship and gather - and it is important. But I think there is a great aspect missing here. Because I worship with these students - but beforehand we don't just sit idly. And if I see a student sitting alone - if our students see someone sitting along - we change that. We approach, get to know - invite to come over to the cafe and drink some hot chocolate. Things we do to intentionally build community, to create relationships. To learn about each other and to learn about God together, to be able to challenge, to be able to trust, to be able to live life together.

I guess what I am wrestling with is, is it student ministry that causes students to leave the church? Or is there something bigger that is missing? Is there an aspect of faith that is overlooked, forgotten, lost in our big services and big ways of doing church?

- Brummy

Do We So Easily Forget?

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

Where do you turn in your time of need? To what do you look to heal you, to make things right?

Apart from Christ there is nothing which will leave you at peace, which will strengthen you. There are things which may for a time, causing you to believe they have given you healing and peace - but they will never be enough. At some point - they will not satisfy that unquenchable desire. Apart from Christ - nothing will.

How easily we forget this. How easily we turn to these things, believing God not to be enough. Today - let me encourage you in this - God is enough. A life so content in Him has no reason to fear, no reason to seek anything else. Yet we cannot cling any longer with one hand to Christ and the other still grasping for the "other" to satisfy. Christ - wholly, in an of Himself - is enough. Not God plus some.

So let us challenge one another to let go fully of the other lies which tempt us and tell us they will heal, they will fill, they will satisfy, and let us grasp with all we are, heart, body, soul - to the One who gave Himself up for us.

- Brummy

Change Must Come...

And its as simple as remembering the core of who we are. The simple commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind."

It has to stop being about what makes us feel good, because those feelings will never be enough. It has to stop being about what is best for your kid, because your kid can never live up to those things, at some point you or they will fail, and what you have taught them is that those expectations are constantly above you, just out of reach. It won't fulfill.

It has to stop being about putting on a happy face to walk into church - stop being about music being too old or too loud or too new. It has to stop being about me. Because I am a screw-up. And so are you.

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says life is about my child being the star athlete?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says if a person has tattoos and screams into a microphone they cannot be worshipping God?

Are you willing to put to death the part of you that says family is more important than God?

Are you willing to give it all away, even your life, for God?

There are the questions I must ask, that you must ask, that we must ask.

Well, God isn't calling me to.

Don't make light his grace - because its not about you. Its not about me. Christ must be the center. Nothing else will fill. Nothing else will save. Its not a buffet - a pick and choose what you will. Its not about being blessed - its about God. That He be glorified. Is He glorified in you? Does your life, your house, your car, your family, your job give Him glory?

Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Because, I realized, my desires are deceitful, causing me to run in guilt and shame from the one I was created for. But I don't have to run, I don't have to fear giving up my "heaven" on earth, because these sufferings, these pains, these what we believe "unbelievable blessings and riches" will not compare to what is to come.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind."

Love

A young boy once sat quietly in a corner of a room. Inside him were a million thoughts and a million voices, every bit of him screamed for help. And yet, as he sat within the church, he feared to share what he so desperately sought escape from. Because if people knew what he dealt with, what he as a broken individual wrestled with, he feared they would not give hope. Rather, they would focus on how messed up he was, how sick, how filthy. He understood Christ and grace to be a once then perfect thing. So he remained quiet.

How many more sit quietly, afraid to seek healing because they fear judgement. Healing from the hurt of broken families, from the grips of addiction to pornography, to the struggle of same-sex attraction, to drugs, to vanity, to self-image. Oh how my soul longs for those who would sit and listen, sit and love. Those who do or don't are each in the same boat, just as unworthy.

Those who have never struggled with addiction are not better people.
Those who have never lusted are not better people.
Those who have never lied are not better people.
Those who do not have same-sex attraction are not better people.
Those who have not abused are not better people.
Because each and every one of us are in need of God's grace each and every day.

There are no simple answers. I cannot tell you why you struggle with this. Truth is we all have struggles. Some are easier seen, and our fallen, human tendencies often make others point out things uncomfortable to them, point out things so that the spotlight is off them. It breaks my heart that we get so upset over defining marriage, and yet how many within the church struggle within their marriages, how many students do I have from broken homes. I do not want this to be a debate, but rather a cry. A cry from my heart to seek Christ first and foremost.

If you are abused or abuser, you have hope that is offered in Christ.
If you are divorced or divorcer, you have hope that is found only in Christ.
If you are addicted, you have freedom in Christ.
If you are broken or breaking, you have redemption in Christ.
If you are attracted to men, or if you are attracted to women, there is one to whom each of us was created to be in relationship with. It took me many long years to realize a part of my heart could only be filled by my God and my savior.

Run to this love. Know this love. Whomever you are, wherever you are in life, run to God. My life is witness to His grace, to His power, to His love. And its for you, and for me.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)