Monday, October 31, 2011

Why We Can't Overlook Middle Schoolers

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12
I spent the weekend with over 150 middle school students, 30 some of them from the youth group I shepherd. I was blessed to have my group for the weekend consist of 6 middle school boys whom I was able to lead in the activities and lead in discussion after each session. And the weekend reminded me why the church needs those who are invested in the day to day lives of students in 6, 7, and 8 grade.

Going into the weekend I knew I had students who are in the midst of parents fighting every day. I knew I had students who wonder each day whether they are loved by their father or loved by their mother. I had students whom I knew were trying to figure out what is happening to them, why they are changing, what these emotions are they are feeling, why they aren't little kids anymore. And I had students who I knew desperately needed those to love them for who they are, for where they are, and to show them God's love.

There were 20 minutes on Saturday where the students were released to the camp to take time alone to spend with God. I walked and prayed as I watched the students curl up on rocks, sit on swings, on logs, alone in the cold and the dark. And yet not alone, embraced by the arms of a God who loves them. I saw students kneeling, saw students with hands raised and eyes lifted to heaven. And I prayed, I prayed. And I knew, God was moving.

As the minutes faded and my sixth graders entered the cabin, I began to ask them how their time went. And God revealed to me how He had moved. A student shared how he surrendered his life fully to Christ, began to share the realizations which God showed him, things in his life which don't line up with following God. That its not a Sunday thing, but an every day thing. We had deep conversations about how every girl is a daughter of God, and God is one father with a shotgun you don't want to mess with. I had another student break down in tears and got to talk and pray with him about his relationship with his dad. And I realized while I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a few of these middle schoolers, there are hundreds more in Stark County which we overlook. We look down on, we despise because they are young.

Was the weekend full of poop stories? Of farting? Of smelliness? Of a giant, freezing mud pit? YES! But going through this with them, allowing them to be themselves, meeting them where they are at. It is what Christ calls us to. And I sit and realize how blessed I am to work with this age, to be able to speak into their lives at this critical age. This is when they are beginning to make decision about the rest of their lives. Not at 15. Not at 16. Not at 18. Not at 25. Yes, they make decisions, but it begins NOW, at age 11 and 12. And they get it, if you give them a chance to speak, if you take a moment to listen. To giggle with them, to fart with them, to laugh about the time you pooped your pants. And to be messy beside them, to be real.

If we are willing to come alongside them as they are, laugh with them, cry with them, and listen, God will use us. God will use you. I have seen more evidence of those truly striving to live for Christ in my incoming sixth grade class this year then I often see in the adult community (not intending to be disrespectful) But when a sixth grader makes a realization they need to change things in their lives, you know God is active. And when they share that they know it will be hard, but that they have to. Well let me tell you. They are setting the example. Will we follow it? And will we follow the example of Christ? Will we be willing to get messy. Because these students need us now. At this age. High School is critical, but in my eyes, from my experience, if we wait until then, its often too late.

God has placed on my heart a passion for middle school ministry, for middle school students, for high school students, for the world. I pray we wouldn't overlook this age group though, just because we think they are smelly, they are kids, or they are annoying. Because they are very much in need of God's love, and to be loved. They are very much dealing with more than we could possibly imagine. And God is very much working and using them at their age. Because they are willing, often more willing than us. And that is beautiful.

- Brummy

Monday, October 24, 2011

Rescue the Weak and Needy

"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." They have neither knowledge nor understanding, they walk about in darkness; all the foundations of the earth are shaken. - Psalm 82:3-5 (ESV)
 It has been a week since I walked into a local middle school, and only the 3rd time I have been there. And yet, as I entered the halls I was walking and hear a cry of "Matthew!" I turn and find a 6th grade boy running towards me. I smile inside, that I was recognized and remembered from being spotted from a distance. This student walks along with me into the meeting area, and I find myself greeted by a few other students I had met, some only once others both days I was involved. I realize a sacrifice (but not really) of one extra hour on one extra day is worth it. To see students smile as I walk through, even though some are probably catching on that I am not the best tutor (what can I say, majoring in youth ministry means you tend to forget a lot of the "schooly" stuff) but its the conversations, the relationships which matter.

I had started a conversation with two guys last week about how they really don't need to greet each other by cussing each other out and talking about girls inappropriately. Now, this is a talk which is probably going to go towards, hey don't do that. I said, "Dudes, why do you have to do that?" last week. And yet, they asked when we would finish it? 5th graders, wanting to continue a conversation about why what they were doing wasn't cool or a good thing to do. And it breaks my heart, wondering how many times they just hear stop doing that and shut up, rather than talking through it. Someone who is willing to give them some attention, to help them be better in what they do. I understand teachers can only do so much, but I wonder what home life is like with mom and dad (or if mom or dad is even present.)

And I was reading the Psalms and was struck by Psalm 82, realizing that is my call to God this year. As I continue to build relationships, I see these kids just want to be loved, to know that someone is there for them. To rescue them, to be there to help in time of need, to deliver them. Because for many, they have no knowledge of a God who loves them, they don't understand why someone who isn't a teacher, isn't a parent would come and be there with them. But see, that is what shakes the earth. The earth was shaken by sin but sin was shaken by Christ, by the ultimate display of love he gave to a world unworthy of it. But because we are unworthy, it makes that love so much more beautiful, so much more pure.

I see these students, and my prayer is that they would not walk in darkness. And while my words may be limited, my actions are not. I am there to listen. They are already telling me secrets (that they have a girlfriend now) and it makes me smile. If it takes words for someone to see what I am about, then I'm not about it. A football player can't speak their skill, they embody it, it is seen through their actions. In the same way, I'm not a follower of Christ, I'm not in love with Him if only my lips speak it. My actions should make people say, hey, there's something different here.

This is my challenge: where are you at in life where you should be living daily as a light for Christ. If we aren't among the "darkness" how will it be made light? Don't just shine in the church. Don't separate loving God at church from the rest of your life. It shouldn't matter if you don't know what to say. Listen. Be there. Show it through your actions. Remember the one who died for you, who took nails in his hands, whose back was torn, flesh ripped out of, for you. That is sacrifice. And that is action speaking love. Surrender your pride, surrender your lust, surrender your time. We fill our lives with so much crap. And somehow we make a disconnect of God time and our time. We must stop that. Christ gave everything, all of Himself for us. Will we do the same? Let us stop making excuses. Let us stop just speaking it, let us do it. Every day. It's not easy, it never will be. But we must. There are those who don't understand, and unless we shine, unless we love them, how will they ever? So will I sacrifice my time for them? I will. Will you sacrifice your time for those who need it? For Christ? Only you can answer. But let us stop making excuses. We are to be the hands and feet of Christ, to be a presence, to love, to rescue the weak and the needy.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Lessons from David and Jonathon

The world around us has distorted the ideal male friendship, created it to be something which is "socially acceptable" but in all honesty, does nothing but tear down and create despair. We are told we must have this "macho" stereotype, and it is enforced through parents, teachers, leaders, etc. My son doesn't play sports! My son doesn't hunt! My son doesn't have a girlfriend!

And yet, let me take an example from the scripture to prove that we are missing a key part of the spectrum. Let me tell you, if anyone has seen the movie Troy or Gladiator, what seems more macho then a guy with swords cutting off the heads of the enemy. (Now, apologies to any pacifists, but I doubt that you would doubt Maximus' masculinity in Gladiator when he has continually conquered those of the arena.) Now let us look to the Old Testament, two men who were great warriors: David and Jonathon. David was one warrior. Take this example from 1 Samuel 30 -

And David struck them down from twilight until the evening of the next day, and not a man of them escaped, except four-hundred young men, who mounted camels and fled. David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken, and David rescued his two wives. Nothing was missing, whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken. David brought back all. (1 Samuel 30:17-19)
 Now, this is a man. A man who would avenge for his family, fighting from twilight till evening the next day. Thats a man. And yet, this same man, a man who is passionate for his family, a man who was just (read on in 1 Samuel 30 and see how he evenly divides and distributes what was regained both with those who fought and those who hadn't fought because they were too exhausted. Reminds me of a certain parable in Matthew 20 of the vineyard workers.)

And this man, David, had a companion closer than a brother and closer than a wife. (Now, let me stop and say check your mind. The world we live in assumes men in a close relationship must be sexual. I do not want this to be a debate about homosexual relationships, nor a debate as to whether David and Jonathon were in one. If you are that upset and must argue, let me take you out to coffee and we will talk. Just please don't argue on here.)

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathon was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathon loved him as his own soul. (1 Samuel 18:1)
 This verse hits me, and I believe it speaks to two things: Men need to have deep relationships with other men, where they can confide with what is going on. Not just a "lets go shoot things together" or "lets pump iron together." But a relationship where you can say "I love you." And not be ashamed to say it. This verse reminds me of another, the whole "Love your neighbor as yourself." David and Jonathon paint a picture of this, of a love which is different than the love of a man and a woman (which is often sexual, and yes is beautiful.) But this love, of two friends who have each others back, who can share what is going on, can support one another, this love is a beautiful love. That Jonathon loved David enough to be willing to give up his spot for the throne of Israel, because he cared for David and for God's will. That is love. That is beautiful. That Jonathon loved David as his own soul, that is beautiful. I look and see a desire for young men to have this sort of companionship. And yet, they are told its more important to have a girlfriend, to do manly things. Not to love another as you love yourself, unless she's a smokin' hot babe. There is something wrong with this.

"How the mighty have fallen in the midst of battle! Jonathon lies slain on your high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathon; very pleasant have you been to me; your love was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women." (2 Samuel 1:25-26)
Jonathon was willing to set aside his seat on the throne, to risk his life to warn David. His soul was knit to David's, because he saw a friendship there closer than a brother, closer than a woman. The relationship wasn't based on one taking advantage of the other, but it was a true relationship of men, who loved and feared God, and thus cared for each other. I fear my words haven't done a well enough job to express this, but this picture it paints is beautiful. I pray that young men would not be afraid to have this deep relationship, to see the beauty in a friendship which is not shallow, which is not more concerned for self-gain or appearance, but realizing what depth is achieved through a relationship where you can be open, a relationship where when that friend dies, your soul is torn. Not because they can't update your facebook, but because you look and see, they were willing to sacrifice for you, that you know without a doubt, he loved me as much as he loved himself, and that is beautiful. He loved me with the love of Christ, and that is beautiful.

- Brummy

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What We Need

Today began with worries of how I would make it in to work. I have been without a car of my own since Thursday. But God provides.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 4:19 (ESV)
Funny how true this has been. I was blessed to be able to use a car of a church members this weekend, and today I was picked up as I walked down Main Street in North Canton by another church member and dropped at the church. I was then able to find a ride later to a local middle school where I began tutoring. As I walked up, the students were all rushing to reach their buses and I grinned as my heart beat in my chest, a bit nervous. It was, after all, my "first day" at school. After being sent three different places I stumbled upon about 60 students sitting in the theater. I smiled as after being introduced a few kids introduced themselves, most just asking where I went to school, if I was in my teens (ooh yah I still look young even with a beard...er maybe because they know I can't grow one!) My heart instantly went out to all the students, and I knew just from being there a few minutes these next weeks through May would be amazing.

As I walked down through the school with the students, I engaged in light conversation by many, helped a few 5th grade girls know it was ok to stay with the line of students, even though we were walking through the boys locker room. Oh the fears of an adolescent. Once in the room, kids talked loudly as they found chairs and I realized it was myself and another school staff member trying to work and control these students. And I couldn't be happier, and yet more sad. As I looked I called out in my head, guessing what each student's story was. I could tell those who were from broken homes, those who had no friends, those who I knew desperately tried to fit in, those who wanted to be seen as "men" because it was important for them to be tough. I guess its my gift, I can usually tell what someone is going through, at least have a pretty good idea. And it was great as the students slowly opened up. Thats what's great about my job, and working with middle school students. They get around to liking you pretty quick.

And I sat and realized how blessed I am, and just why God has placed me here in North Canton. Its sad to see how many churches are in the area, and yet as I have begun to seek out relationships in the community, I wonder how many are involved outside their walls? (And I do not at all mean this to be a blog against those, I love the local church leaders here. I am blessed to be a part of a great church community.) But I stop and say, look at the need here. Look at these kids who just need someone to love them. Do we even understand the reason many of these students act out is because at home they have no attention? At home they are over-looked. When a teacher has to ask what a mothers last name is now, what does it say about the male figures in their lives? And I wonder and pray, will our generation fall into the same pattern.

And I stop and realize I am so amazingly blessed to be able to spend time with these students. I'm not looking to say anything to them. I want to listen, to know them. They don't need anyone else to tell them what to do. They have enough people telling them to do things, but no one listening to them, helping them sort through, and showing them what to do.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

- 1 John 3:18 (ESV)

I wonder where we forget passages like this? Our words have truth when there are actions behind them reflecting and speaking for them. If I'm truly about Christ, I will be there to listen to these students. I will put up with their little antics because, lets face it: they aren't adults yet. But sadly, they are forced to deal with adult situations. I wonder how many of these students have been told "I Love You." by any adult. And yet, I could probably count (with a calculator) how many times they have been told "Don't do that." It's easier to tell them not to do something, than for someone to actually care and listen. And, sometimes, just let them be kids.

I am excited for this year. I am excited for my students I see every Sunday. I am excited for these new students I will be in contact with every week. Because for me, I am not called to sit behind the walls of a church office. I am not called to be a light in a church office. (Well, its not the extent of it) I am called to be in the community. People don't want to hear us talk about God, don't want to just see us walk into a church. They want to see us be active among them, where they are at.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

- Matthew 9:36

I see many sheep who are without a shepherd. I am beginning to see God has placed me here to watch over these students. To be a light for Him here in this community, in these schools. To these families. So that even if they haven't heard someone say "I Love You" they would know, there is one greater than any on this earth who so desperately wants you to know "I LOVE YOU."

Monday, October 10, 2011

Called Out

I am fully expecting to receive at least one phone call this week. But I am 100% excited if I do, and 100% willing to take an earful from it.

 24Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. 28Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."
We are talking about our "kingdoms" in life. Areas where we have put ourselves first. Bigger than this, we are talking about God's kingdom, that it is here and now. That when we place ourselves first, living by our rules in the different kingdoms, or areas, of our lives, it is not being a part of God's kingdom. When you choose what music to go on your iPod, what clothes to buy, who to date, all without reference to God and His will and desire, you are not living as a part of God's kingdom. A king is the one who rules, who is in charge.

This week I challenged about 15 or so middle school guys who sat around a circle to be real. I told them they aren't little boys anymore, they are young men. And that God is real, and He is daily a part of their life whether they try and make Him a part or not. I challenged them to identify areas where they needed to let God take control, to surrender to His kingdom. [We had examined the beatitudes as well, in Matthew 5. Check them out if you haven't. They're the Blessed are verses.]

 It was cool hearing the response as we talked about being real, about being men for God. Hearing some identify they had a big ego, some identify with sarcasm (I too confessed to being overly sarcastic) some to speaking without filtering what they are going to say. And it was cool, because they weren't middle schoolers at this moment. They weren't kids I was talking to. They were engaged, they were owning up, manning up, realizing where in life they needed to change. They didn't have to. But I was real. And then, I challenged them to call each other out. I challenged them to call me out. Because who am I to say that because of my age, my position, I have more of a right to call them out than they do me? And then I challenged them to, [takes deep breath] call their parents out if their is something in their life that isn't right. Phew, this could backfire.

But if my parents are the ones who I spend the most time with, the example they set is the one I will follow. If they claim Christ, and yet at home have a different facade, how do they expect me to be any different. Parents, I would appreciate a phone call if you are upset or want to talk. But I want to say it is humbling and it is radical when a middle school student calls you out. I have had it done. And it was also a beautiful picture of saying, God sees none as too young or too unimportant to be used. We may not like how God calls things out in our lives, and yet, I am encouraged. I see a generation who is open and realizing areas in their lives which need to be realigned with God.

I am not afraid to take a phone call this week. While perhaps the students may take my challenge in a wrong way, as a free to point the finger card, I know I have been personally called out by them on sarcasm. And while at first it made me upset I realized it was true. And I realized I had to own up to it, rather than shifting the blame. I don't want to be an Adam. I want to be a man desperate for Christ, to be conformed to Him.

 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were 
before you.
In Christ,

Brummy