Yesterday, I picked up a few 6th graders after school and we all went to Dairy Queen. Now - it is about 20 degrees outside, first day of spring - but that didn't stop us. And while we were there a few things hit me - I have been especially processing these past few weeks how we do middle school ministry at my church (The Chapel in North Canton) and whether it is the most effective way - or whether we need to change a few things to be most effective at discipling these students in our community. I realized two things yesterday.
1. Relationships (As I always believe) Are Key
One student who attended hasn't been able to be super involved - so really this hour and a half we spent at Dairy Queen was the longest time I've had to really talk and get to know him. And it was great - because my first perception of him just at church was that he was super shy, and quiet. But the reality was - once we had hung out a bit - once I engaged with them, laughed with them, joked with them - the walls came down. I talked about what they talked about - even if I didn't always get it - I cared about what they talked and put in my two-cents where I could, and when I couldn't - I just listened.
2. Middle Schoolers NEED to Have Fun
Lets face it - middle school is such a crazy stage - and the reality is, they need to be active, they have a ton of energy. So trying to have them sit (especially boys) more than they can just be themselves - won't really accomplish anything. Part of my story is I felt I couldn't be myself in middle school - I couldn't control that I had this energy, that I goofed around - it was where I was at!
I have the desire to have leaders who truly grasp - and are a part - of the fun! That when we talked about nosing (where you go up behind someone and see how long you can gently have your nose touch them without them noticing) the entire rest of the day was them joking and laughing and trying to nose one another - and me! So of course - when they go to the booth behind me I drop to the floor, crawl under the table, and try and sneak behind them! Its ok to have fun - in fact, it shows that I care about them more than just some agenda. And the reality is - those in my life who invest more than just a lesson in me are the ones I go to when the "crap hits the fan."
I'm praying that because I was willing to have fun - to act goofy and crawl on the floor of a Dairy Queen beneath a table, that when they find themselves crawling in life from a scary situation, they have seen the love of Christ in me. That self-sacrificing love that doesn't care about my image in the moment, that laid it down - for their sake - because of what Christ did for me.
- Brummy
Friday, March 22, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Rethinking...The In-between (They Aren't Kids...)
This one will hurt. A little. But here is the reality - and its one I embrace but I fear many parents do not.
Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.
Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.
All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")
I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.
The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.
The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.
In Christ,
Brummy
Your middle school student isn't a kid...and really isn't as innocent as you think. The reality is...all of us are depraved - we fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And the reality is - your kid has most likely been exposed to a lot more than you think. They probably don't understand it all (they hear a lot of terms - and joke about them because they don't want to admit they "don't know", but they've been exposed to them nonetheless.) Let me put in the disclaimer - I'm not about sheltering students. But, I think its healthy to have a reality that just because you send your kid to church or keep them from "events" you think will have an unhealthy influence - the reality is they are exposed.
Its not odd for me to stop at a middle school lunch table and hear kids dropping the f-bomb (usually to try and get a reaction from me. I don't give them one - its students who don't know Jesus yet so of course they won't act like Jesus. So why would I try and force them to?) They've seen a lot of movies, such as Superbad, which I watched as senior in high school, regretfully, and they say is one of the funniest movies. Its a sex comedy. And while I wouldn't watch it again - I was better able to filter and discern that I shouldn't watch it again.
All this to say - I've enjoyed the healthy conversations I've had with students. And its not this: don't have sex before you are married cause its wrong. Cause honestly - thats not an answer that ever helped ANYONE. Instead - it was the beauty of diving in - helping them understand its goes deeper than a physical. That there is an emotional connection. Examining what the world says satisfies (including these sexual terms, talking through them - and then asking "What does God have to say about this? When is it good? When is it bad?")
I would much rather a parent have these conversations with their child - and many have. But the reality is some of the terms make parents "uncomfortable" - but would you rather have your child's 7th grade friend explain it to them - their understanding from the internet and media - or maybe we should suck it up, partner together, and have those awkward, difficult conversations.
The reality is - students are being exposed to much more. It is an in-between though. A student in 6th grade who jokes about Superbad and how much they love it can then also go into how they watch SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly every day after school. It really is such an in-between stage. They aren't kids anymore...and yet they are...and they aren't adults...yet they've been exposed to way more than they should.
The beauty is God loves them where they are at - that they won't get it all the time. There will often be a disconnect between their walk with God and the world around them. But we get to walk with them through this - helping them sort through life - showing them how God is at work to restore and explaining how man distorted what God intended for good. It is a beautiful journey - and I love walking alongside these middle school students.
In Christ,
Brummy
Monday, March 18, 2013
Rethinking...Outside the "Church" Times
I never met Jesus in a classroom. I never really met Jesus through a sermon. I met Jesus through the relationships I had with people - with those who really modeled to me Jesus unconditional love. And the best learning experiences I had were times they sat with me over coffee or a burger and really reminded me of that love - that I was made for more than what I was doing now, that nothing I was trying to do would satisfy because I wasn't made for it.
Do people learn from sermons? Yes. Do people learn in a classroom? Yes. But at the heart of all of this - the most impactful sermons have been from those whom I have a deep relationship with - whom I know deeply love and I have seen live that love. The most meaningful classroom learning experiences have been with those whom I have a relationship with - who cared about me beyond just me learning what they were trying to teach.
And this my friends - is why every hour outside of the Sunday morning or Wednesday night environment counts. Do they learn here? Yes. Do they also learn more from watching and living with you outside these times? Possibly. I did.
That in the middle of a Call of Duty match (because of how middle school minds work) you hear a 7th grader say "I got [friend's name] to read 1 Corinthians with me today. He may come to church with me sometime soon too."
And that, my friends, is beautiful. Let's get outside this box - God isn't confined to a building, things aren't inherently "Christian" and non-Christian. I had a better conversation with this student about God while playing Call of Duty than I had with them on Sunday morning, during a worship service, in our church building.
I am so excited God continues to open my eyes and remind me that He is center of all - and its not confined to our "God moments" but to every moment. And the beauty of working with students is they are walking through this too - they have not yet confined things to boxes - and we can just as easily have God talk over Xbox live playing their favorite game as we can sitting in chairs at the church.
In Christ,
Brummy
Do people learn from sermons? Yes. Do people learn in a classroom? Yes. But at the heart of all of this - the most impactful sermons have been from those whom I have a deep relationship with - whom I know deeply love and I have seen live that love. The most meaningful classroom learning experiences have been with those whom I have a relationship with - who cared about me beyond just me learning what they were trying to teach.
And this my friends - is why every hour outside of the Sunday morning or Wednesday night environment counts. Do they learn here? Yes. Do they also learn more from watching and living with you outside these times? Possibly. I did.
That in the middle of a Call of Duty match (because of how middle school minds work) you hear a 7th grader say "I got [friend's name] to read 1 Corinthians with me today. He may come to church with me sometime soon too."
And that, my friends, is beautiful. Let's get outside this box - God isn't confined to a building, things aren't inherently "Christian" and non-Christian. I had a better conversation with this student about God while playing Call of Duty than I had with them on Sunday morning, during a worship service, in our church building.
I am so excited God continues to open my eyes and remind me that He is center of all - and its not confined to our "God moments" but to every moment. And the beauty of working with students is they are walking through this too - they have not yet confined things to boxes - and we can just as easily have God talk over Xbox live playing their favorite game as we can sitting in chairs at the church.
In Christ,
Brummy
Monday, March 11, 2013
5 Things God Has Taught Me About Ministry
God has a funny way of working - but this past year has been a clear reminder that God's ways are not my ways and God's thoughts are not my thoughts...and especially that God's timing is not my timing.
1. None of my classes remotely prepared me for anything I experienced in the real ministry world
Sorry Malone, but its just true - nothing I learned in class really prepared me for this. But, it did give me one good thing - relationships with some really solid men of God (a few of my professors) whom I could lean on during my difficult times. These men have been valuable resources, and was worth all the thousands of dollars I spent to sit in some classes which had some good memories (like when I delayed class because I wrote as many Pokemon on the board as I could possibly remember) but mainly left me with a solid support system when I came upon situations I hadn't dreamed of experiencing.
2. Ministry stinks...but is full of joy
I used to think ministry would make me happy - but I realize that is false. Ministry does not make me happy. In reality, it has many bitter, heart-wrenching moments. And yet, Christ has done a work on me this past year and filled me with more joy than I ever remember. And that is the key - because as tough as the moments are, as much happiness as is absent - I am being filled with the joy of Christ more and more every day I get to serve him full-time in ministry.
3. Sometimes you are forced to grow up...And sometimes God won't let you
This one sort of speaks for yourself. I am 23...and my Bible is consistently opened to 1 Timothy, specifically 4:12. There were things which I learned come with the territory I never thought would...again I wasn't prepared. My first funeral, for an 8th grade student whose father suddenly died, leading two missions trips back to back after going 100% all summer, being thrown into a role much larger than any shoes I ever thought I would fill, figuring out that not everyone in the church loves Jesus and sometimes doesn't like change, even if you believe it will be best for leading students to Jesus - and that when you get down and want to quit with every part of your body - that God still works on your soul and tells you to press forward - reminds you that He is in control.
4. May Jesus come soon...because this is lonely
That glorious day when Christ returns is longed for even more...and yet I see so much work to be done. My commitment to this community has caused me to feel more and more alone, seemingly overwhelmed by the amount of students who so desperately need to know the love of Christ - and yet God has reminded me that He is in control. That moments I feel weak or as though it is too much - He is in control. I am but a vessel used by Him. And that though it is lonely, there are those around me to lean on for support.
5. Don't Worry
I've gone back and forth about worrying - and I realize now it doesn't matter. I used to not care - which was bad, and then I cared to much - which I realized was wrong. Because not caring meant I wasn't worrying about God and shepherding His flock, and caring too much meant I focused so much on that one little sheep that I missed sight of the rest. So now I serve God - and do my best to look upon the whole, knowing that some of these sheep will just be stubborn. I pull them back in here and there, but some just want to run. God is the Shepherd - and I trust He is in control.
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