My heart breaks tonight. Tonight I cried. Not because of pain experienced to myself, but pain for others. I wonder how often in ministry I will feel this. I look and see some close to me in ministry who are hurting, and I fear for students choosing to turn their backs on God and the church. I cry because I know I cannot be Jesus to them, I cannot try. I must present the love of Christ, but I must not be Christ. I must not be the reason they attend church, the reason they choose God. They must choose to follow on their own. And yet I know the paths some are choosing to walk lead nowhere. I have turned my back on friends. It led nowhere. I have cut ties with family, it has led nowhere. I have attempted to cut myself from God. And at that farthest point, love found me. And it has brought me here, God has brought me here.
I pray to God for restoration of those families outside the church and inside. I look and see hurt and pain and I pray we would throw off what is paining us and look to Christ. I pray that we would give up what is holding us back. Through tears I lift up these requests to God. I write this because I must express my concern for those in our student ministry. The enemy is attempting its best to throw us off course. But I hold fast, when I feel the urge to quit, I press on. Forgetting what is past, I strain on towards the goal. Not by my own strength. Through the strength of Christ. The only reason I am here is because of Christ. I would be a mess, the farthest thing from church, were it not for God's grace and mercy. And my heart breaks for those who will choose to turn to the depths, and there ignore the reaches of God's love, grace and mercy. Those who because of this will bring themselves to his wrath and judgement. Thus through tears I lift my prayers for you to my heavenly Father, who knows all our needs. Who knows right where we are at.
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