I cut to the hoop around the "new kid" as his next words cut to my heart. "Yeah, sorry, I was distracted." He said. A scrawny going to be sixth grader, wearing a backwards hat too big for his head, a tight underarmor shirt over his scrawny upper torso, and knee high socks like he can't decide between being a soccer star or 3-point shooter. "I was distracted watching that kid play with his dad. My dad and I used to play all the time. I wish we still did. He's too busy now."
Barely know this kid, and he probably has no idea that he's opened up a whole other side of himself with only knowing me for about an hour. It's why I love being able to shepherd middle school students. Its such an amazing age, one which is so easily overlooked. They are forced into a corner, still kids, yet suddenly dealing with a whole world of emotions and situations which they have no idea how to face. They are told to deal, to act ten times their age, and often aren't given the light of day. And yet it is such a critical age, where choices are being made which WILL stick with them the rest of their life. Middle school is quickly becoming the time where these young men and women choose which path the rest of their life will be set on.
Don't get me wrong, high school is also critical, but in my belief middle school is the pivotal stage to lay a foundation. Often times, and I saw it with many a friend, if the connection is made and foundation laid in middle school, by freshmen year even, then its too late.
Students go from saying the most awkward, crazy statements, to deep profound questions which take one aback. They are at a stage where they are figuring things out, and still have a desire to have someone speak into their life.
Tonight I had a glimpse into the life of a young boy, telling me about all the sports he plays, pretty much any across the board. I had a glimpse that it was in an effort to impress and find achievement and importance. And then the statement about his dad, how ever since his dad's promotion he was always working. Always busy. It breaks my heart, and yet at the same time encourages me to see the openness and honesty he shared. Not trying to "hide" his problems, not even really realizing what he is experiencing. And being willing to talk about it, and for the opportunity I have to listen. And to be there in love, as others were there in love.
I have slowly realized that what is important in youth ministry, for the small amount of time I have been doing it, isn't about the programs. It isn't about having an awesome budget to do awesome events with hundreds of students. Its the moments playing one on one with a guy, the moments sitting at the church waiting for the midnight showing and having a student pour his heart out to me, the rides home drinking starbucks and talking. These are the moments, the times where its not about "stuff" but about the relationships. The time, genuine time, filled with genuine conversations. Its not about the "showyness" of youth ministry, about who can see how much I'm doing, how many students I have, how big of events I can throw. Thats like praying for everyone to see like the Pharisee in Matthew 6:5. I would rather have two students show up who I can truly pour into for an hour, then twenty-two show up and have to do crowd control. Don't get me wrong, I love the big events. But when it comes down to it, it's in the still, small moments, that God really moves. We tend to look in the thunderstorms of a youth rally, or the whirlwind of an all-nighter. But its in the quiet after, when the student is sitting alone, apart from the chaos and crowd, that opportunity presents. That allows one to invest their all, their genuine time, to that student.
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